our eyes

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
quarterpasttwelve
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 1:17 am

our eyes

Post by quarterpasttwelve »

i love the way
you move when
you try to be better
than yesterday
i try too but i fail
in my eyes
because i am not sure
how close you are
that's the way we always end it
another goodbye
another love for you
another something for me
maybe someday our eyes
will be there
keep moving maybe we can try
no talking just moving
i don't want to be afraid of you
i just want us to try to be ourselves.
I always miss you
more than yesterday
User avatar
fishfishquaileye
Posts: 546
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:11 pm

Re: our eyes

Post by fishfishquaileye »

yes, you did "fail in my eyes"; there you were consistently humble and lower case and then SMACK! KAPOW! you end "I always miss you", a shouting, bragging, self-pitying upper case ego-filled declaration. I was so distressed by that switch that I cried my i's out.

Please, I beg you- don't do that ever again to me.
pelican
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:01 pm

Re: our eyes

Post by pelican »

wrong mirrors. That's allright.
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”