i used to float
down streets of gray
past coin laundry houses
i never lingered
i never watched
the twirling whirlpools of patience
life was simple
life was a sleeping dog
and all sleeping dogs awaken
now these suds
run far and deep and
my hands are stained with bleach
i am spinning
hopelessly
in the rinse cycle
Laundry???
Laundry???
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- fishfishquaileye
- Posts: 546
- Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:11 pm
Re: Laundry???
good to see you. I suggest an improvement to one line.hophead wrote:i used to float
down streets of gray
past coin laundry houses
i never lingered
i never watched
the twirling whirlpools of patience
life was simple
life was a sleeping dog
and all sleeping dogs awaken
now these suds
run far and deep and
my hands are stained with bleach
i am spinning
hopelessly
in the rinse cycle
you wrote "i never lingered"
I write "you never lingerie" , my line rhymes with your "grey" above, and is thematic laundromatic.