Your laughter (second version)

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Sandra
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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 5:01 pm
Location: al sur del mundo
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Your laughter (second version)

Post by Sandra »

(dedicated to Pedro, a language teacher)

Your laughter
like a wave
strikes me,
touches me,
and intimately corners me.
You don´t know
but I wait
that little death
so longed.
I wait so much that laughter
so powerful and strong.
like a complete desire
that bursts without warning
and makes me feel alive
LaurieAK
Posts: 1338
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:00 am

Post by LaurieAK »

Sandra~

A very sweet poem. I like how this 'laugh' turns into something that eminates from within you and not just your object of desire. Like a melting of two, even if the other does not know it. I like how you give the reader your sense of anticipation, "that little death" between the sound and the silence. Very nice.

regards,
Laurie
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lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

Hi Sandra ~

I have to get back to work here very soon, but wanted to tell you how wonderfully these lines work together for me, particularly the last three words:
like a wave
strikes me,
touches me,
and intimately corners me.
~ Lizzy
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