hello again Mr or Mrs Iama Hotel. You mention my return to form. there is, of course, more than one form. I often offer serious crits, they may not be fantastically in-depth but they are probably as detailed as you get on this particular forum. Other times, I indulge in parody. these are not personal attacks, all writing is vulnerable to parody.
The "proper" approach is to chuckle if you are free enough to find wordplay on your own effort funny (and *if* you do find the particular effort funny)
I don't think that a return to personal attacks is a good move for this place. Some of the non-participants, whilst sulking fairly quietly during the contest, have now returned with silly and embarrassing attempts to spoil and sabotage the enjoyment of others.
After all, the contest was found to be good fun by all the participants, as far as I can tell. So, although you have your view of my record- there is another very different story as well. The launching of new id's to snipe is pretty unimpressive. NEHOC and angeleyes and others, who appear from the direction of those who didn't join the fun but muttered in their corners, is unimpressive.
Accusations of fixing the contest are pretty pathetic (who, more than you Mr or Mrs Hotel, is vulnerable to the suggestion that the subject was fixed) and later suggestions of a winning poem being a re-write were calculated lies. The trolling by someone called Glory-Hog and Makera's adoption of that person's troll to make weedy comments that it was me in disguise, her choice not to apologise, these are all the trivia of any active forum.
This is not a therapy group. Sometimes you make "enemies" in any corner of cyber-world and sometimes you make friends. My original intention when I came here was to help anyone who wanted to improve their writing. It came as quite a shock to discover the over-sensitivity to criticism by *some*. and it has only ever been some. those who don't struggle with ego respond maturely. Others will fight to eternity never to explain absurd rhymes or absurd lines. You get called on these every single time you post to a real poetry group.
Obviously you are entitled to any view you wish although your comment and suspicion about a deleted message of mine is quite an indicator of a biased mind.
So read what you like into any posts here, including mine. but you perhaps needn't be that puzzled why I enjoy a lot of friendship in this forum.
here's a straightforward but quick crit on your poem
I knocked on the door of the old hotel
Would anyone answer my call?
Was there anyone there at all?
The only answer rang like a bell.
the last line is either not very good or an intended joke? you knock but get a ring.
Out rang the old story of love and woe,
Of wine, women, and song
you probably get away with the "wine women and song cliché by trailing it first as "the old story"
I could not reply except to say No!
Not for me those comforts could throng.
Throng is a “forced rhyme”, and it doesn’t make sense
Softly I walked away forlorn
The answer was not what I thought
It would be -- so cruel, joyless fraught
"These will not be seen again."
And I am afraid I struggle to understand the meaning of the last verse. What won’t be seen again?
I’m really glad you joined in the contest I am sure you put effort into your poem and it reads quite well overall. If you are open to improve your writng that is great!
Regards
Critic2
ps I have spent this time replying as a person in this group, whom I really respect, considers you deserve a "caring" response as well as my earlier light-hearted one.
Pt. 1 of 3 HONORABLE ENTRANTS to The Contest...
I would think more of you if this response and critique were not preceded by your "making" my poem "better". No I did not find your parody funny. You were not trying to "help" me "improve" my "writing". You were mad and your anger spewed out in juvenile obscenities. It was not "lighthearted". Nothing but bile in that parody of yours.
As I explained I made a straight crit. because someone asked me to.
Your judgement of my earlier quick parody is silly. If I was "mad" or my "anger spewed out" in my post then Ralph Nader won the election by a landslide. Nothing here affects me that way, certainly not your opinion of me which you are perfectly entitled to express.
I am sorry I wasted my time on you in my last long post. But the fact that you didn't respond to the points I made there informs me that your mind is closed and therefore I have no interest in responding to you further.
I am afraid you must be "plonked".
Good Luck with your writing and bye.
Your judgement of my earlier quick parody is silly. If I was "mad" or my "anger spewed out" in my post then Ralph Nader won the election by a landslide. Nothing here affects me that way, certainly not your opinion of me which you are perfectly entitled to express.
I am sorry I wasted my time on you in my last long post. But the fact that you didn't respond to the points I made there informs me that your mind is closed and therefore I have no interest in responding to you further.
I am afraid you must be "plonked".
Good Luck with your writing and bye.
This is not the first time you've emphasized "quickness". As though that's some sort of poetic virtue. And excuses boorish parodies.
And your "straight crit" included a long preamble of how persecuted you are. But that mindset fits with your "I wasted my time with you" and "your mind is closed" and "no interest in responding to you further". You remind me of a child who throws a tantrum and when he is ignored by the adults, sulks. So glad that nothing here affects you.
And your "straight crit" included a long preamble of how persecuted you are. But that mindset fits with your "I wasted my time with you" and "your mind is closed" and "no interest in responding to you further". You remind me of a child who throws a tantrum and when he is ignored by the adults, sulks. So glad that nothing here affects you.