Office Hooks

This is for your own works!!!
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Myra
Posts: 52
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:47 pm

Office Hooks

Post by Myra »

You must
be careful

how you hang your coat.
Someone may notice the way
it drapes over mine.
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Violet
Posts: 3197
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 11:07 pm
Location: New York

Re: Office Hooks

Post by Violet »

Hi Myra,

I read this a number of times and like it... like how the first part shifts in the first line of the second... I'm noticing too the title change, which might be an improvement (from Paranoid) since it allows for such a reading, as well as other readings... To me it's not about being paranoid, as the poem seems to imply some hidden desire maybe...

v i o l e t
Violet
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piñata heart
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Location: new york city
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Re: Office Hooks

Post by piñata heart »

Hi Myra,

I really enjoyed this as well. It's like a whisper in the ear. I can practically smell her breath (in my case, it would be a her). Nicely done.

I’ve written in this style quite a lot, but was afraid to submit it out of fear that it wasn’t lengthy enough. You’ve inspired me to possibly post some of that work. Thank you.

Warmly,

-ph
imaginary friend
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Location: Vancouver, Canada

Re: Office Hooks

Post by imaginary friend »

Hi Myra,

I like how the poem reveals a considerable amount of information in five succinct lines.

The image of the coats hanging is very effective.

Nice work!
Manna
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Location: Where clouds go to die

Re: Office Hooks

Post by Manna »

This may be the best shorty I've read on this forum.
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lizzytysh
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Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Re: Office Hooks

Post by lizzytysh »

I've got to throw my support for this poem, as well, agreeing with everyone. I missed its pre-change title. I love how it expresses the way we sometimes actually do connect with each other in the subtlest of ways by intention. All kinds of visions and possibilities come flooding into those lines.


~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
Myra
Posts: 52
Joined: Sun Mar 30, 2008 12:47 pm

Re: Office Hooks

Post by Myra »

Thanks for reading Violet. I'm happy I changed the title it was to limiting.

Hi Ph, I'm pleased you heard a whisper. I'm looking forward to reading some of your shorts.

I'm glad the image was effective for you I.F., that pleases me a great deal - thank you.
Manna wrote:This may be the best shorty I've read on this forum.
Hey you, I'm much taller then I seem!

Thank you Manna.
I missed its pre-change title. I love how it expresses the way we sometimes actually do connect with each other in the subtlest of ways by intention.
Communication is an interesting thing isn't it Lizzy, funny how much weight we place on words.
Thanks for your comments, the previous title was paranoid, but that was to telling.


edited as I kept saying glad, glad, glad, like some kind of subliminal marketing ploy for bin liners.
Last edited by Myra on Thu Mar 26, 2009 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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