Confessions
Re: CONFESSIONS IN THE GRAVEYARD
I think your poem is very long. You have some interesting lines, but there is a lot of over-description. for Instance:
interesting: the moon keeps pouring stuff - frozen tears, milk, lotion...
uninteresting: I blush,
My face, blood-red.
(that's what blushing is, you know)
and the I...I...I...I...I...I...I...I
The moon goes from pouring milk to pouring coconut lotion very quickly and with little to tell us what changed, and the change doesn't seem all that major. I mean how different are milk and coconut lotion? Also, way too many exclamation marks for a single poem!
I think you're trying to write a poem that is very important to you. But it may help to think about how to communicate more efficiently.
could easily be chiseled down by leaving outOutside the gates
EMERGENCY!
A light
Blood-red
Spins on the roof,
Flashing brightly.
It dances in wild celebration.
This poem has a major tendency to repeat itself unnecessarily. Some of the repetition is interesting, but some just seems like overdoing it.Blood-red
Spins on the roof,
Flashing brightly.
interesting: the moon keeps pouring stuff - frozen tears, milk, lotion...
uninteresting: I blush,
My face, blood-red.
(that's what blushing is, you know)
and the I...I...I...I...I...I...I...I
The moon goes from pouring milk to pouring coconut lotion very quickly and with little to tell us what changed, and the change doesn't seem all that major. I mean how different are milk and coconut lotion? Also, way too many exclamation marks for a single poem!
I think you're trying to write a poem that is very important to you. But it may help to think about how to communicate more efficiently.
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mickey_one
- Posts: 1533
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
- Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Jill, I will read it properly another time but I stalled so early on, not believing the need for you to capatalise that it was HIS gravestone. It would have been a very different poem indeed if you had mistakenly sat in front of the gravestone of a stranger. So, unless it was a shock twist (unusually revealed at the start of the narrative- you had really been searching for your mother's or sister's resting place for example) then you need to write your way into the dramatic importance of it being HIS not simply SHOUT it, which ANYONE can DO.jill wrote:(dedicated to my father who died when I was seven)
(inspired by Leonard Cohen and Garcia Lorca)
I sit in front of HIS gravestone.
Jill Majors
yy
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Jimmy O'Connell
- Posts: 881
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:14 pm
- Location: Ireland
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Michael, a chara...
Are you going to be up to yer usual SHENANIGANS (quoting Diane from "Snap" thread).
To a Critic
Most candid critic, what if I,
By way of joke, pull out your eye,
And holding up the fragment, cry,
'Ha! Ha! that men such fools should be!
Behold this shapeless dab! - and he
Who owne'd it, fancied it could see!'
The joke were mighty analytic,
But should you like it, candid critic?
Samuel Taylot Coleridge
Jill... if you are new around here... take whatever Mickey_one says with a dose of shenanigans. It will save you grief.
However, should you wish to take what he says seriously do so, for sometimes he doth speak without forked tongue... but be careful.
Jimmy
Are you going to be up to yer usual SHENANIGANS (quoting Diane from "Snap" thread).
To a Critic
Most candid critic, what if I,
By way of joke, pull out your eye,
And holding up the fragment, cry,
'Ha! Ha! that men such fools should be!
Behold this shapeless dab! - and he
Who owne'd it, fancied it could see!'
The joke were mighty analytic,
But should you like it, candid critic?
Samuel Taylot Coleridge
Jill... if you are new around here... take whatever Mickey_one says with a dose of shenanigans. It will save you grief.
However, should you wish to take what he says seriously do so, for sometimes he doth speak without forked tongue... but be careful.
Jimmy
Oh bless the continuous stutter
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Thanks Jimmy. Yes, I am new and this is my first poem submitted anywhere, ever. The initiation is painful but may be helpful.
Comments welcome.
Comments welcome.
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Jimmy O'Connell
- Posts: 881
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:14 pm
- Location: Ireland
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Jill... I have taken out some lines that I think take away from the power of the poem.
You have the core of a powerful piece of writing. I agree with Manna, in that it is too long. The energy has been taken out of it by too much repetition. I haven't added any word to your piece, just taken out. But that doesn't mean that what I took out was right, or should have been. I'm just suggesting that there is too much in it already...
I sit in front of His gravestone.
Heart behind granite walls.
Haunted.
The crescent moon weeps
Frozen tears.
Shadows conceal tangled weeds
Above hardened earth.
Silence but for the crickets and the owl.
Outside the gates
EMERGENCY!
A flashing light,
Blood-red,
dances in wild celebration.
I do not understand
but it winks at me
as if it knows everything.
Curled like a fetus
in front of His gravestone.
I cover my eyes and ears
so no one can see or hear me
begging for mercy
and trying to conceal that which I cannot name.
Charon approaches.
Two headlights shine in my face.
He commands: "Open your eyes!"
I make my confessions to Him.
I shout secrets of betrayal.
Scream pain of broken promises.
Reveal scar tissue from abandonment.
Charon dumps the carcass
onto the trash heap in the graveyard.
I stand in front of His gravestone,
Naked and raw.
Cleansed.
Now the moon
Soothing ancient wounds.
I sit in front of His gravestone.
Exhausted.
I breathe and wait.
I breathe and wait.
I breathe and wait.
Silence but for the crickets and the owl.
The night makes way for sunrise.
In the morning light comes dawn.
The carcass dumped onto the trash heap
in the graveyard,
Was mine.
And I don't need to carry it any more.
Keep picking at it...
Jimmy
You have the core of a powerful piece of writing. I agree with Manna, in that it is too long. The energy has been taken out of it by too much repetition. I haven't added any word to your piece, just taken out. But that doesn't mean that what I took out was right, or should have been. I'm just suggesting that there is too much in it already...
I sit in front of His gravestone.
Heart behind granite walls.
Haunted.
The crescent moon weeps
Frozen tears.
Shadows conceal tangled weeds
Above hardened earth.
Silence but for the crickets and the owl.
Outside the gates
EMERGENCY!
A flashing light,
Blood-red,
dances in wild celebration.
I do not understand
but it winks at me
as if it knows everything.
Curled like a fetus
in front of His gravestone.
I cover my eyes and ears
so no one can see or hear me
begging for mercy
and trying to conceal that which I cannot name.
Charon approaches.
Two headlights shine in my face.
He commands: "Open your eyes!"
I make my confessions to Him.
I shout secrets of betrayal.
Scream pain of broken promises.
Reveal scar tissue from abandonment.
Charon dumps the carcass
onto the trash heap in the graveyard.
I stand in front of His gravestone,
Naked and raw.
Cleansed.
Now the moon
Soothing ancient wounds.
I sit in front of His gravestone.
Exhausted.
I breathe and wait.
I breathe and wait.
I breathe and wait.
Silence but for the crickets and the owl.
The night makes way for sunrise.
In the morning light comes dawn.
The carcass dumped onto the trash heap
in the graveyard,
Was mine.
And I don't need to carry it any more.
Keep picking at it...
Jimmy
Oh bless the continuous stutter
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Hi Jill and Jimmy, et al ~
Welcome, Jill. I won't be commenting much on this, but just a few comments, and not necessarily to you.
First, I like the nature of your comments, Jimmy. With your capitalization of His, because of the common, Christian practice here of capitalizing He, His, and Him when referring to G~d, I feel this could be unnecessarily confusing. So, my suggestion [albeit in less, shall we say 'dramatic' terms than mickey_one's] would be simply to use lower case and let the drama of the significance of sitting at his grave unfold through the content of the poem itself. It also leaves the space for the element of surprize to occur, through the significance of who he was and his impact in your [Jill] life. Otherwise, it rather announces it upfront in a way that doesn't seem to add, but rather detracts, from the import of your poem [sorta like an emoticon 'in print'... that's for the benefit of mickey_one, Jill] ~ which I agree with Jimmy is a powerful piece.
As capitalization goes, I would also prefer that the subtlety of the reader's realization come through the word "Was" being in lower case, when Jill says, "was mine" ~ there doesn't seem to need to be a capital letter there, since it follows a comma. I would personally also like to see the last line simply read, "I don't need to carry it anymore" ~ without drama or fanfare, it's making a simply, declarative statement, which the "And" takes away from, its simply being superfluous.
I like what you've done with the red-light-flashing verse; and feel that your condensing of it, Manna, took it just a bit too far, as it removed it from the context that makes it understandable as to what the red light was and on what kind of a roof... that's just my preference. There's something about the "EMERGENCY!" that I liked, too, as it seemed, at once, both a contrast and somehow a similarity to her own situation.
I, too, felt overwhelmed by its length and seeming repetition. I initially began reading it seriously and, then, as I went, the prospect of exceeding length came to me, so I scrolled down and, as I kept doing so, decided to just come back to it later, when I had more time. When I finally did, others had commented... and I was glad for that. Now, I could give you my own in the context of theirs. I ended up really liking the way Jimmy's 're-do' read.
~ Lizzy
Welcome, Jill. I won't be commenting much on this, but just a few comments, and not necessarily to you.
First, I like the nature of your comments, Jimmy. With your capitalization of His, because of the common, Christian practice here of capitalizing He, His, and Him when referring to G~d, I feel this could be unnecessarily confusing. So, my suggestion [albeit in less, shall we say 'dramatic' terms than mickey_one's] would be simply to use lower case and let the drama of the significance of sitting at his grave unfold through the content of the poem itself. It also leaves the space for the element of surprize to occur, through the significance of who he was and his impact in your [Jill] life. Otherwise, it rather announces it upfront in a way that doesn't seem to add, but rather detracts, from the import of your poem [sorta like an emoticon 'in print'... that's for the benefit of mickey_one, Jill] ~ which I agree with Jimmy is a powerful piece.
As capitalization goes, I would also prefer that the subtlety of the reader's realization come through the word "Was" being in lower case, when Jill says, "was mine" ~ there doesn't seem to need to be a capital letter there, since it follows a comma. I would personally also like to see the last line simply read, "I don't need to carry it anymore" ~ without drama or fanfare, it's making a simply, declarative statement, which the "And" takes away from, its simply being superfluous.
I like what you've done with the red-light-flashing verse; and feel that your condensing of it, Manna, took it just a bit too far, as it removed it from the context that makes it understandable as to what the red light was and on what kind of a roof... that's just my preference. There's something about the "EMERGENCY!" that I liked, too, as it seemed, at once, both a contrast and somehow a similarity to her own situation.
I, too, felt overwhelmed by its length and seeming repetition. I initially began reading it seriously and, then, as I went, the prospect of exceeding length came to me, so I scrolled down and, as I kept doing so, decided to just come back to it later, when I had more time. When I finally did, others had commented... and I was glad for that. Now, I could give you my own in the context of theirs. I ended up really liking the way Jimmy's 're-do' read.
~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
~ Oscar Wilde
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Jill,
I find this a most intriguing piece of work which I need to consider over the weekend.
Very intriguing.
'So, unless it was a shock twist (unusually revealed at the start of the narrative...'
I'm tending to disagree on this point Michael. I believe revelation in the early stages of a narrative is much more commin in contemporary writing than you believe.
I find this a most intriguing piece of work which I need to consider over the weekend.
Very intriguing.
'So, unless it was a shock twist (unusually revealed at the start of the narrative...'
I'm tending to disagree on this point Michael. I believe revelation in the early stages of a narrative is much more commin in contemporary writing than you believe.
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
As I came in to write this posting, I noticed that there are 22,222 postings in this section. Mine will be 22,223.
Anyway, Jill, I like leaving the word "EMERGENCY!" for several reasons... the one I already mentioned earlier, to anchor the meaning of the flashing red light and its location [which roof]; but the contrast to and reenforcement of your own situation, as well; and the irony that it carries with it. The word emergency clearly suggests a need for immediate action; yet, with you at your father's grave, your observations, thoughts, declarations, and actions have your entire lifetime to unfold, as he is stationary. Still, there is a type of emergency at hand and that is the dumping of your carcass onto the trash heap in the graveyard, so that you can go on with your own life. For me, that word resonates really well with the remainder of your poem. The sound and feel of those "EMERGENCY!" sirens can be startling and unnerving.
~ Lizzy
Anyway, Jill, I like leaving the word "EMERGENCY!" for several reasons... the one I already mentioned earlier, to anchor the meaning of the flashing red light and its location [which roof]; but the contrast to and reenforcement of your own situation, as well; and the irony that it carries with it. The word emergency clearly suggests a need for immediate action; yet, with you at your father's grave, your observations, thoughts, declarations, and actions have your entire lifetime to unfold, as he is stationary. Still, there is a type of emergency at hand and that is the dumping of your carcass onto the trash heap in the graveyard, so that you can go on with your own life. For me, that word resonates really well with the remainder of your poem. The sound and feel of those "EMERGENCY!" sirens can be startling and unnerving.
~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
~ Oscar Wilde
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Hi Jill ~
I've noticed your presence here and have kept checking to see if you've posted. Only just now did I notice that what you've been doing here is making changes to your poem.
Now that I see that, may I ask a couple questions and add a few ideas of my own?
I'm noticing that with some lines in the beginning, you begin the first word with a capital, even if it's a continuation of the same 'poem sentence;' and further into the poem, you pretty much stop the mid-thought capitalizations. The ones I'm wondering about, that would seem better if they were in lower case are:
"Frozen tears"... even though the capital F gives emphasis to frozen, those two words having a line of their own seem to accomplish it just as well, and in lower case, the connection would remain with the word "weeps."
"Above"... with it capitalized, it seems to emphasize above vs. below... yet, since shadows concealing weeds in the previous line would be above the ground, it seems if you put it in lower case, the emphasis would shift to "hardened earth," where it seems it really belongs.
"Blood-red"... further down, when you cap [capitalize] it, it kind of separates it from what preceded it, whereas in lower case, it continues easily, with the same case as with "Frozen tears" above. Just those two words on that line are emphasis enough... and "blood-red" comes across more in the sense of its being human blood [and the connections of blood with you and your father] vs. "Blood-red," which has more of a theatrical feel [as in theatrical make-up], unnecessarily emphasizing the "Blood" portion... it comes across more as a label on a tube, with the emphasis on the colour itself, rather than the colour and the connection of your relationship with your father... as you're feeling it and seeing it manifest at the same time.
"Blood-red"... regarding your face this time. Again, I feel it's more effective to be more subtle with this and let the words themselves and their placement, and what can be drawn from them, provide the impact.
"Knocking me down"... again, I would prefer seeing the word knocking be in lower case, so as to continue your preceding thought more smoothly.
"Blood confessions"... I can get a sense of what these could be, or at least their import.
"Green confessions"... I don't know what those might be. Can you help me out on that?
"Black confessions"... I can get a sense of what these might be, or at least their import, as well.
"I sob Heartache"... I'm not sure if I can suggest anything specific here. I prefer that it be lower case; yet, I'm not sure about how much sense it makes, as is, when doing that. Would "I sob my heartache" work? Not really, I don't think. "I sob heartache" ~ that doesn't seem to work, either. I'm pretty much stuck in Baffled with this. I think of sob as an outward action, and heartache as an inward suffering. If you're releasing your heartache by sobbing, then yes, somehow something could come together between those two. It just doesn't seem to, as it's currently phrased. Or, maybe it actually is already phrased in the best way for what you want to say. I don't know.
"Shout Betrayal"... this makes me feel that there should be a comma after the word heartache and then the word betrayal, so that the four lines directly connect with one another.
It also seems that the words betrayal, broken promises, and abandonment might better be in quotation marks [in which case they would be in caps, again]... I imagine you intensely vocalizing each of these in a cathartic way. I still don't know what to do with "Heartache" though. That's not a word that you would yell out, like you might the other three.
"To expose"... again, Jill, I just want to see "To" in lower case, which then shifts the focus to "expose scar tissue." Yet, I could make a case for leaving it as is, too... to make that whole line be an immediate visual with emphasis [afforded it by the capitalized "To"].
"I lie beside of"... this is just a grammar thing. You don't need the word "of" when you say "beside" because it's redundant and superfluous.
"Naked and raw"... same thing. If you lower case your first word, the image of you lying there naked, literally or figuratively, in your body and your mind/heart, will be instantly evoked, in conjunction with what preceded it.
The repetition of the word "milk" in that same verse feels like choosing another word, either to begin with, or to replace it the second time, might work better. Or, how about:
"My body drinks it in
like a suckling"
It seems that could work, as the previous lines are all clearly referring to your first use of the word "milk." You see I've also lower-cased the word "Like" there, too.
At the end of the first line of the next verse, it looks like that ought to be a comma, instead of a period, as you continue your thought in the second line.
There could be a period at the end of the second line, so it's " . . . moon."
Or... there could be a comma... and then "exhausted" would be the one-word line that has a period after it. I believe I like having a comma after moon, with the next line being a lower-case "exhausted." For one thing, having it be lower-case does better in replicating the process of exhaustion... in this situation, you're barely able to utter the word, at all... much less in caps.
"In the morning comes dawn"... I would prefer having that be "In the morning comes the dawn." It seems to flow more poetically... and whereas "sunrise" seems to be the physical act of nature, when you say "comes dawn," it still seems to be speaking of the sequence of the acts of nature... first sunrise, then dawn. However, when you say, "In the morning comes the dawn," that act of nature takes on an added element of emotion, in this case, one of hope. The act of nature is no longer simply an act of nature. It has been personified with what is actually happening with you, as you shake free from the shackles that have bound you... and with the sunrise, is coming the dawn and hope for your life.
With the punctuation-change ideas I've noted, I love this verse:
I love the final line of it, and the impact of your returning to the fetus stage of your life. This is a very powerful verse for me. The images and the nebulous nature of what was going on, yet with very graphic images.
I also like the way you've incorporated some of the ideas/terminology used by Leonard.
The last thing I wanted to say was that with the images of the shadows, weeds, and hardened earth and your being graveside, I was wondering about maybe your somehow incorporating a reference to roots. They can be such an eerie thing, appropos of a graveyard at night... and still so appropos for your own roots; with your father, and you as a fetus. It may be too trite, that thought, but it came to me, so I thought I'd still share it and offer it as a consideration.
~ Lizzy
I've noticed your presence here and have kept checking to see if you've posted. Only just now did I notice that what you've been doing here is making changes to your poem.
Now that I see that, may I ask a couple questions and add a few ideas of my own?
I'm noticing that with some lines in the beginning, you begin the first word with a capital, even if it's a continuation of the same 'poem sentence;' and further into the poem, you pretty much stop the mid-thought capitalizations. The ones I'm wondering about, that would seem better if they were in lower case are:
"Frozen tears"... even though the capital F gives emphasis to frozen, those two words having a line of their own seem to accomplish it just as well, and in lower case, the connection would remain with the word "weeps."
"Above"... with it capitalized, it seems to emphasize above vs. below... yet, since shadows concealing weeds in the previous line would be above the ground, it seems if you put it in lower case, the emphasis would shift to "hardened earth," where it seems it really belongs.
"Blood-red"... further down, when you cap [capitalize] it, it kind of separates it from what preceded it, whereas in lower case, it continues easily, with the same case as with "Frozen tears" above. Just those two words on that line are emphasis enough... and "blood-red" comes across more in the sense of its being human blood [and the connections of blood with you and your father] vs. "Blood-red," which has more of a theatrical feel [as in theatrical make-up], unnecessarily emphasizing the "Blood" portion... it comes across more as a label on a tube, with the emphasis on the colour itself, rather than the colour and the connection of your relationship with your father... as you're feeling it and seeing it manifest at the same time.
"Blood-red"... regarding your face this time. Again, I feel it's more effective to be more subtle with this and let the words themselves and their placement, and what can be drawn from them, provide the impact.
"Knocking me down"... again, I would prefer seeing the word knocking be in lower case, so as to continue your preceding thought more smoothly.
"Blood confessions"... I can get a sense of what these could be, or at least their import.
"Green confessions"... I don't know what those might be. Can you help me out on that?
"Black confessions"... I can get a sense of what these might be, or at least their import, as well.
"I sob Heartache"... I'm not sure if I can suggest anything specific here. I prefer that it be lower case; yet, I'm not sure about how much sense it makes, as is, when doing that. Would "I sob my heartache" work? Not really, I don't think. "I sob heartache" ~ that doesn't seem to work, either. I'm pretty much stuck in Baffled with this. I think of sob as an outward action, and heartache as an inward suffering. If you're releasing your heartache by sobbing, then yes, somehow something could come together between those two. It just doesn't seem to, as it's currently phrased. Or, maybe it actually is already phrased in the best way for what you want to say. I don't know.
"Shout Betrayal"... this makes me feel that there should be a comma after the word heartache and then the word betrayal, so that the four lines directly connect with one another.
It also seems that the words betrayal, broken promises, and abandonment might better be in quotation marks [in which case they would be in caps, again]... I imagine you intensely vocalizing each of these in a cathartic way. I still don't know what to do with "Heartache" though. That's not a word that you would yell out, like you might the other three.
"To expose"... again, Jill, I just want to see "To" in lower case, which then shifts the focus to "expose scar tissue." Yet, I could make a case for leaving it as is, too... to make that whole line be an immediate visual with emphasis [afforded it by the capitalized "To"].
"I lie beside of"... this is just a grammar thing. You don't need the word "of" when you say "beside" because it's redundant and superfluous.
"Naked and raw"... same thing. If you lower case your first word, the image of you lying there naked, literally or figuratively, in your body and your mind/heart, will be instantly evoked, in conjunction with what preceded it.
The repetition of the word "milk" in that same verse feels like choosing another word, either to begin with, or to replace it the second time, might work better. Or, how about:
"My body drinks it in
like a suckling"
It seems that could work, as the previous lines are all clearly referring to your first use of the word "milk." You see I've also lower-cased the word "Like" there, too.
At the end of the first line of the next verse, it looks like that ought to be a comma, instead of a period, as you continue your thought in the second line.
There could be a period at the end of the second line, so it's " . . . moon."
Or... there could be a comma... and then "exhausted" would be the one-word line that has a period after it. I believe I like having a comma after moon, with the next line being a lower-case "exhausted." For one thing, having it be lower-case does better in replicating the process of exhaustion... in this situation, you're barely able to utter the word, at all... much less in caps.
"In the morning comes dawn"... I would prefer having that be "In the morning comes the dawn." It seems to flow more poetically... and whereas "sunrise" seems to be the physical act of nature, when you say "comes dawn," it still seems to be speaking of the sequence of the acts of nature... first sunrise, then dawn. However, when you say, "In the morning comes the dawn," that act of nature takes on an added element of emotion, in this case, one of hope. The act of nature is no longer simply an act of nature. It has been personified with what is actually happening with you, as you shake free from the shackles that have bound you... and with the sunrise, is coming the dawn and hope for your life.
With the punctuation-change ideas I've noted, I love this verse:
EMERGENCY!
Sirens.
Waves of sound crash onto my chest,
Knocking me down.
Tackled by the undertow,
I can scarcely breathe.
Like a fetus,
I cover my eyes and ears
so no one can see or hear me
begging for mercy
as I try to conceal that which I cannot name.
I love the final line of it, and the impact of your returning to the fetus stage of your life. This is a very powerful verse for me. The images and the nebulous nature of what was going on, yet with very graphic images.
I also like the way you've incorporated some of the ideas/terminology used by Leonard.
The last thing I wanted to say was that with the images of the shadows, weeds, and hardened earth and your being graveside, I was wondering about maybe your somehow incorporating a reference to roots. They can be such an eerie thing, appropos of a graveyard at night... and still so appropos for your own roots; with your father, and you as a fetus. It may be too trite, that thought, but it came to me, so I thought I'd still share it and offer it as a consideration.
~ Lizzy
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken."
~ Oscar Wilde
~ Oscar Wilde
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Thanks for your suggestions, Lizzy. They are most helpful and insightful. I am going to incorporate them and make some more of my own.
Please check it out when you have a chance.
Jill
Please check it out when you have a chance.
Jill
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Hi Lizzy.
I noticed that I did not answer your questions from your last post.
You were right. I meant the image of blood to be one of death and a family bond. Also, my father died of a heart attack
so there is blood symbol in that .
In the poem
Green confessions are meant to be confessions of envy ie being green with envy.
Black confessions are symbols of depression and hopelessness.
I noticed that I did not answer your questions from your last post.
You were right. I meant the image of blood to be one of death and a family bond. Also, my father died of a heart attack
so there is blood symbol in that .
In the poem
Green confessions are meant to be confessions of envy ie being green with envy.
Black confessions are symbols of depression and hopelessness.
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mickey_one
- Posts: 1533
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
- Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
that's OK Jimmy, Diane doesn't mean it and she forgives your misunderstanding.Jimmy O'Connell wrote:Michael, a chara...
Are you going to be up to yer usual SHENANIGANS (quoting Diane from "Snap" thread).
Jill... if you are new around here... take whatever Mickey_one says with a dose of shenanigans. It will save you grief.
However, should you wish to take what he says seriously do so, for sometimes he doth speak without forked tongue... but be careful.
Jimmy
Jill, always listen to Jimmy- he nearly always talks good sense and, unusually for a Scotsman, he is a teetotaller so his advice is sober and serious
regards
Michael
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Jimmy O'Connell
- Posts: 881
- Joined: Thu Aug 17, 2006 10:14 pm
- Location: Ireland
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
Yer up to yer shenanigans again!!!!
Scotsman I am not... though I do enjoy the company of a fellow Celt... pronounced Kelt!!!!
Seamas
Jimmy
not Hamish!!!
Scotsman I am not... though I do enjoy the company of a fellow Celt... pronounced Kelt!!!!
Seamas
Jimmy
not Hamish!!!
Oh bless the continuous stutter
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
of the word being made into flesh
-The Window-
-
mickey_one
- Posts: 1533
- Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
- Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees
Re: Confessions in the Graveyard
By Heck, Jimmy you may be right. Where it says location next to a poster's name I though that we were obliged to say where we were writing a particular post from and I thought you were simply on a long vacation to Ireland. Perhaps you are be Irish after all. I always get muddled between the different provinces owned by England anyway.Jimmy O'Connell wrote:Yer up to yer shenanigans again!!!!
Scotsman I am not... though I do enjoy the company of a fellow Celt... pronounced Keith!!!!
Seamas
Jimmy
not Hamish!!!