Comp. poem 7 Comments welcome

[mickey_one]

I'm not your man
I'm not to blame
You've got it wrong
He
gave
my
name

He's your man
He pulled the gun
You need to find
Krist
off
er
son

[damellon]

I love this entry. Too slight? No. It's spare, clever, complete. This one's my winner. Identify yourself.

[lizzytysh]

I expected this one or the rap one to get first/second place... interchangeable. I, too, think this one is as you've described it, Damellon... but my lips are sealed on the who.

I love the "paybacks are hell" element of it... and the visual created by the lines themselves appearing more to be of an elevator going down than of one going up. For me, it was perfect... and hilarious. Got it the first time around, but perhaps because I've been hearing that very funny anecdote for years. I loved the reversal of it all... much higher stakes this time, of course .


~ Lizzy

[Pete]

I'm your man
I wrote this verse
it started bad
and then got worse

so I tried again
to make it rhyme
to find the words
to fit the crime

and suddenly
it all made sense
the lines they fell
in place and tense

so now I sleep
the contest done
thanks to Manna
and
Mickey
One


pete

[lizzytysh]

Tee-Hee... You have a knack for those long and slender, rhymey ones, Pete .

Well done .


~ Lizzy

[damellon]

Pete - you're the man. Runner up as per the judges but the winner for me. Well done. Any more where this came from?

[Pete]

Thank you Lizzy
but now I find
the rhymes won't stop
they're in my mind

they will not leave
for now I'm cursed
for ever and more
to type in verse

so woe is me
the poems invade
my sleep and days
they will not fade

there may be hope
but I'm not sure
if ever I'll find
the
perfect
cure

Pete

[Pete]

Thank you Damellon
your name I can't rhyme
so now I'm cured
isn't
that
great!

pete

[lizzytysh]

Couldn't you have spoken of a watermelon or is that not fair because of the included portion?

Well, I'm happy you're feeling better... but your response to me was funner .


~ Lizzy

[damellon]

Pete
Glad I'm of some use and you're cured. A little bird has just told me that you have a lovely voice and I'm always susceptible to a nice voice whether in reality or in poetic form. Still think your poem should have won, but who am I to judge?

[lizzytysh]

I know there's no arguing with the judges... the political side of Manna already made that perfectly clear . However ~ that said ~ I feel this poem was perfect. No more, no less was needed. Thematically correct for the theme... and the turnarounds are just sublime .

The People's Choice = Pete, The Winner

Thank you to the Judges, even so... it can be a Thankless job , but somebody really does have to do it. It was great that you two did... and I appreciated the comments you made on the individual poems. As the entries came in, I was really glad that I don't know enough about poetry to be one . What would I say that would be poetically relevant !?! ~ the thought occurred to me over and over, again.


~ Lizzy

[Christine]

Nice one, Pete! Didn't you also win the limerick contest?

[Pete]

Nice one, Pete! Didn't you also win the limerick contest?

There once was a limerick from me
but it wasn't Shakespeare, you see
so I don't think it won
but it was only some fun
so it was not to be, to be.

Pete

[Christine]

From Matlock a young man did hail
His rhyming was fast as a snail
When contests did start
He sure did his part
A good one they often did hail

Who knew when the contest was done
His rhymes would just keep on and on
He just couldn't cease
And there was no peace
For that young man who never was done

Pete, I think you're contagious.

[mickey_one]

Limericks are yuk to my taste
So when I'm the judge they’re a waste
They all far too slight
Just Poetry light
(For those who can’t write)
So plagiarise, copy and paste




I added an extra line so I can't be accused of hypocrisy. Limericks are limericks and Pete's was a decent one but never NEVER must they be allowed to win a freestyle poetry competition- N E V E R. Would you let a juggler win an athletics comp, (I haven't a clue what that means btw). I have reservations about my parodies because they are parasitic and I could never rate one over a good original work, but parodies need lots of love and attention if you want to make every word count. Really good parodies are rare and the majority of writers will start " Fred takes me down to his place by the liver" and then they would fizzle out, flop and fade without making the effort or having the wit to parody the rest of the original work. By comparison, limericks are really so easy. Anyone can do them, and if you keep encouraging people then they will do them. Then where will we be? What chance for the elite if we admit the riff-raff. That is not democracy.