I tried to make things better

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Fri Mar 02, 2007 1:03 am

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Diane · Post by **Diane** » Fri Mar 02, 2007 11:41 pm

My pocket is filled with intentions
I reach in to find nothing there.

I think those lines speak very well of how it is when we, as you say in your first line, "try to make things better", but the heart no longer complies with those intentions. Thanks, John.

Diane

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:13 am

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lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:26 am

Hi John ~

I'm sorry I missed commenting on this until now. I've been distracted the last several days. I'll PM you with the basic details.

I expanded when condensing the verse.
The record skipped when it turned on the table,
The gospel turned backwards to curse.

I love what you've done with these lines. "The gospel turned backwards to curse" is so imagematic.

These, too...

She called me to come up to bed soon,
But I ignored her and stayed up till the dawn.

You do such a fine job in capturing the dynamics and daily happenings of relationships in the simplest of terms.

My pocket is filled with intentions
I reach in to find what is there.
I'm holding tight fisted, I have them,
But when I open, my hand is filled with air.

Along with the one already mentioned, this one really does well in expressing how well-meaning we can be; yet, in the end, fail to come through.

Your poem-songs read so easily. I sure hope to hear you sing some of them in Toronto.

Love,
Lizzy

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Sat Mar 03, 2007 1:36 am

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Diane · Post by **Diane** » Sun Mar 04, 2007 2:03 am

Hi John,

To copy is to compliment the original writer is it not? "Time is an abstract." Please could you write an essay about that, in a Greg-like way, as that sounds very interesting

.

Take care,

Diane

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Mon Mar 05, 2007 5:20 am

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Byron · Post by **Byron** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 1:39 am

John, while reading this piece several times I couldn't put my finger on the image that was forming in my mind. (Mixed metaforicals there) And then it came to me.......

You're describing what it is like to put your hand into water. Take your hand out and voila.....no hole, nothing at all, just the fading image of a ripple that might have been........

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:28 am

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lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 2:48 am

You're describing what it is like to put your hand into water. Take your hand out and voila.....no hole, nothing at all, just the fading image of a ripple that might have been........

Great, great, great, GREAT thought, Byron... wonderful imagery to work with and make real, via parallel in verse

.

~ Lizzy

Diane · Post by **Diane** » Tue Mar 06, 2007 3:40 am

Hi John,

I like Byron's hand in the water image, too

.

OK, we'll leave physics out of it

. Here's another idea:

I tried to make things better
But instead I was making things worse.
I stumbled while crossing the puddle,

If you place a plank of wood across a puddle, you will probably walk across it without too much trouble. if you place that same plank of wood between two skyscapers, you might well fall off as you walk across it, such will be your fear. If you try hard to do something, it often means you fear you can't do it. That means you believe you can't do it. What you believe becomes manifest, as they say. Sometimes we already know we can't do something, but pretend we can, because we want to make things better. It is too late at night for me to figure out if this makes sense

. If it does, maybe that idea has some bearing on your poem, too?

I'm holding tight fisted, I have them,
But when I open, my hand is filled with air.

Those lines remind me how much it makes your hand ache, if you make a tight fist and try to hold on to a handful of sand. It makes your hand ache, and it doesn't work.

Cheers,

Diane

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:05 pm

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Diane · Post by **Diane** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 2:01 pm

Hi John!

Whatever I was on about then, I can no longer recollect. Thanks for your fuller explanation about your song.

Ignoreland is a great song, but I have never heard the entire album.

Are you going to Edmonton, and with your guitar? If you are, the weight of possible reasons for my having to go increases yet more.

I wish life was a game of baseball; I always enjoyed playing rounders at school.

Sorry, this is just a quick reply cos I must get to work. I like your new sig!

Love,

Diane

John K. · Post by **John K.** » Wed Apr 11, 2007 4:14 pm

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Diane · Post by **Diane** » Thu Apr 12, 2007 3:51 am

Hi John,

Oh! You (and your Music, maybe even your entire family) sound like an almost-definite for Edmonton. How lovely you are to

when I tell you it gives me more of a reason. There is no other reason than the lovely people I would get to meet that would make me contemplate travelling half way across the world next year. I'll try to come. But even I sometimes have to descend from the cloud upon which I reside to realise that everything I want to do might not be possible. And now talking to Adam in another thread makes me realise how much environmental damage is done by a plane flying all those miles...

"You know what your problem is? You need to say "F!@# you" more often."

When my brother and I want to wind each other up we start a sentence with, "You know what your problem is, don't you..." and then tell the other person one of their glaring personality defects or irritating attributes. Just for fun, of course.

Actually, my psychologist told me I needed to say "F*ck you!" not more often, but once to one person. And I did, and what a difference it made.

I guess it's not generally good advice for how one should conduct oneself whilst going about one's daily business though, eh

?

Good night,

Diane