We sit in your sunroom
watching the rain,
its been falling for hours
and we are alone.
You tell me of Paris
the people, the churches,
you speak with conviction
a tourist guide sponge.
Your gift of just talking
not needing an answer
I don't hear all the words
I find peace in the rhythm.
I notice a gray strand
now lives in your dark hair.
Is it just time's reminder
or did I put it there?
And you speak
of
your sister in all of her damp grief.
Fear stole her life like a sick thief
and left her a husk of a soul.
And you speak
of
the shoreline in Northern New England
the dark water and rocks are so ruthless
like a love that's grown cold.
You speak...
You speak...
"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash." - Leonard Cohen
Hi Stoneange ~
Welcome to the Forum, even though your signature is certainly familiar
.
I particularly like these two verses:
Welcome to the Forum, even though your signature is certainly familiar
.I particularly like these two verses:
~ LizzyYour gift of just talking
not needing an answer
I don't hear all the words
I find peace in the rhythm.
I notice a gray strand
now lives in your dark hair.
Is it just time's reminder
or did I put it there?
thanks...
at least within this particular forum I can be assured that the potential critiques are made by individuals with exquisite taste in poets
when one has tasted Leonard's fine wine, it makes it easier to discern the flavor faults in other work that might be refined
at least within this particular forum I can be assured that the potential critiques are made by individuals with exquisite taste in poets
when one has tasted Leonard's fine wine, it makes it easier to discern the flavor faults in other work that might be refined
"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash." - Leonard Cohen
Hi Stoneange ~
Well, I won't be critiqueing your poetry, on that you can most likely rely. I might give a suggestion, at some [unknown] point, but generally I stick to telling you what I like and usually why [though I didn't here... time is pressing on and bedtime is essential, as I need to get up very early tomorrow]. I've never studied poetry, nor really tried to write it, so I'm pretty unqualified to critique another's attempts or successes in that direction. I don't even know that I could define poetry. However, there are others here who are experienced in this genre who will meet your desires for constructive feedback. I just won't be one of them, but that's okay
. I can still tell you what I like and at least some of the time why.
~ Lizzy
Well, I won't be critiqueing your poetry, on that you can most likely rely. I might give a suggestion, at some [unknown] point, but generally I stick to telling you what I like and usually why [though I didn't here... time is pressing on and bedtime is essential, as I need to get up very early tomorrow]. I've never studied poetry, nor really tried to write it, so I'm pretty unqualified to critique another's attempts or successes in that direction. I don't even know that I could define poetry. However, there are others here who are experienced in this genre who will meet your desires for constructive feedback. I just won't be one of them, but that's okay
. I can still tell you what I like and at least some of the time why.~ Lizzy
Lizzy,
I would certainly agree that you should always communicate in the fashion you find most comfortable.
But just as a subtle thought...
Don't underestimate your ability to offer constructive ideas for refinement.
When one becomes overly schooled in form and meter...
They run risk of losing the raw, base connection to reality that is supposed to pump the sticky fluid of poetry down the pipe and out into the open space.
Often a fresh voice, free of the indoctrination of "proper" structure and style, can pick out the changes and simplifications that make magic.
Just a thought.
And thanks for letting me know the words you enjoyed.
I would certainly agree that you should always communicate in the fashion you find most comfortable.
But just as a subtle thought...
Don't underestimate your ability to offer constructive ideas for refinement.
When one becomes overly schooled in form and meter...
They run risk of losing the raw, base connection to reality that is supposed to pump the sticky fluid of poetry down the pipe and out into the open space.
Often a fresh voice, free of the indoctrination of "proper" structure and style, can pick out the changes and simplifications that make magic.
Just a thought.
And thanks for letting me know the words you enjoyed.
"Poetry is just the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash." - Leonard Cohen