.
.
Book of Middling (Stretching It) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
============================
Girls Aren't Very Bright - gmw
---------------------------------
Although they try with all their might,
Girls just aren't very bright.
What they are
Is pretty sly
To make me think
This way.
The Time Machine - gmw
-----------------------------------
I'm riding in a time machine
And the stinking steering wheel is broken,
And the stinking breaks are broken,
And the stinking shift is broken,
And the stinking windshield wipers don't
Work very well.
So it can hardly matter
That I'm drunk
And argue on the cell-phone
And scrunch down under the dash board
For a second (or two)
To tie a shoe.
And if I arrive
Alive,
Or die
Blotted on the highway,
It doesn't matter
Either way
She's worth it either way.
I know
Because
The shoes
Are new.
Who killed Dylan Thomas? - gmw
-----------------------------------------------
A White Horse.
Consenting Sheep -gmw
-----------------------------------
Bah!
Humbug!
Tips on Kissing - gmw
--------------------------------
Practice a lot, alone with God,
Until you're really good.
It'll be too late for you then,
But God will eternally smile on you.
The Woman in the Bursa
And the Man in the Grey Flannel Suit -gmw
------------------------------------------------------------
He found her unattended baggage at the airport
And returned it to her.
And they died happily ever after.
Monkey Business - gmw
-----------------------------------
Today I will disapprove of monkey business.
It's true that only yesterday I applauded monkey business.
But today is different.
Bonobos - gmw
---------------------
Everybody knows
Bonobos
Don't wear clothes.
And it shows.
The Other Side of the Sphere - gmw
------------------------------------------------------
All my life I have been seeking the other side of the sphere.
But whenever I get there, it isn't there!
"You just missed it!" they'd say.
But how was I to know
That all its life
It's been seeking me
On the other side?
(And so therefore this poem really sucks.
But isn't that just like itself?
Always looking for itself on the other side.
And whenever it gets there, it just left.)
Me and My Cow - gmw
--------------------------------
Lo! Me and my cow
Plow the right field today.
And we listen to the giggling clover
On the left field singing in the rain:
"Lo! Verily they are with us!
And they know left from wrong, and right from right,
And Lo! They are with us, And against the
Infidels of the right field!"
And Lo! It is the very next day.
And Lo! Me and my cow
Plow the left field today.
Lo! We've been doing this for years.
And they never get it.
Me and my cow
Hate all our fields equally.
Lo!
Like Ketchup and Mustard - gmw
------------------------------------------------
Good food is like ketchup and mustard.
Only without ketchup or mustard.
Art Smarts - gmw
------------------------
Get used to it.
Heart Not Actually Broken - gmw
----------------------------------------------
More like over cooked and cloyingly caramelized,
And become a strange alloy
Of beloved and myofascial tissue.
(to be continued ....(or not))
