Poem L

[LaurieAK]

Poem L:


YOU

You, you the hunter of the truth
You searched through my mind
You searched through my heart
But you never searched my soul

You, you the keeper of the past
You kept me from growing
You kept me from living
But you never could keep me away from my dreams

You, you the controller of my world
You controlled my days
You controlled my nights
But you never could control my thoughts

You, you who have decided what is right
You who have decided what is wrong
You who have decided who I am
But you never could decide if you love me

You, you who claim to know it all
You who claim to see it all
You who claim to want it all
Vanished out of my life like old love letters

[LaurieAK]

Hi~

Well, if there was a "Most Pissed Off" category, this would have taken first.

Another interesting use of 'repetition' that works well.
I had some misgivings about the overall message of outwardly being aggressive, yet it still seemed the 'accusor' allowed the 'accused' to continue to hurt them. I wanted to seem some sort of resolution in the end.

thanks,
Laurie

[Diane]

I agree with Laurie that there seems to be a lot of unresolved anger in this poem. But then I guess you can write a poem to express not being finished with being angry... Sounds like the subject of the poem was very controlling and being controlled by someone does make you very, very angry. It will be interesting to see what the author says about it.

Diane

[Nightstalker]

I must wonder if the 'you' is parents? And I agree with those above. Being angry about being over controlled is a natural response. Good and harsh poetry.

[mickey_one]

I think this is a good goodbye rant. Leaving aside its "merits" as poetry it sounds very cleansing to me for the writer.