This Lonesome Song
I tried to convince myself that you're not real
But everytime I turn around I begin to feel
Imprisoned
by my decision to keep you alive
It's a vision
but it isn't something for which I should strive
Rather I should conceal
I died to believe in something so wrong
But everytime I think of you the feeling is strong
Like every fear
that nestles here between the nose and the brow
And now it's clear
that all these tears are useless to me now
Inside this lonesome song
I hide beneath the shadows to escape your name
But everytime I live this way I bring myself shame
and confusion
But I'm losing all that's been revealed
through this illusion
and I'm using solitude as a shield
for what is really to blame
This Lonesome Song
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
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This Lonesome Song
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
I like this for several reasons, Teratogen... I like it for its lack of anger and its introspective, self-reflective qualities, and its lack of profanity 
. I like it because it addresses the denial and living in the past that sometimes resides within most of us in certain, heart-related circumstances. I like it because it's easy to follow, as well.
~ Lizzy
. I like it because it addresses the denial and living in the past that sometimes resides within most of us in certain, heart-related circumstances. I like it because it's easy to follow, as well.~ Lizzy
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
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I'd like to say thank you, but it feels awkward to do so.
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
- Contact:
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
Re: This Lonesome Song
Teratogen wrote:
>. . . here between the nose and the brow
Why did you choose a picture showing where you'd smeared white cream above your eyes? I asked my daughter what it was and she said it is an ointment to soften the skin up if you've got blackheads. She said you can then squeeze them out.
>. . . here between the nose and the brow
Why did you choose a picture showing where you'd smeared white cream above your eyes? I asked my daughter what it was and she said it is an ointment to soften the skin up if you've got blackheads. She said you can then squeeze them out.
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Diane
Hi T. I like these lines:
I'm using solitude as a shield
for what is really to blame
Thanks for your poem, I wish I had that amount of self-awareness when I was in my early twenties.
Whilst I bump into you: I managed to borrow a Marilyn Manson cd recently (Smells Like Children), from my friend's daughter. It is beyond terrible
. I wish I could think of something positive to say about it but I can't. Maybe it's just cos I'm getting old.
See you later,
Diane
I'm using solitude as a shield
for what is really to blame
Thanks for your poem, I wish I had that amount of self-awareness when I was in my early twenties.
Whilst I bump into you: I managed to borrow a Marilyn Manson cd recently (Smells Like Children), from my friend's daughter. It is beyond terrible
. I wish I could think of something positive to say about it but I can't. Maybe it's just cos I'm getting old.See you later,
Diane
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
- Contact:
geoffrey, i don't think you understand anything.
diane, thank you. i wouldn't say that i'm that self-aware. in the back of my mind i think these things but it's very, very difficult for me to accept any of it. this poem was brought about because of an awkward relationship i have with a co-worker. when you work together for years with someone things always change. feelings get involved, and it can't be described as love or close friendship or anything like that... but after it begins to get physical you begin to question what it's all about. it turns out this time that it was all about nothing and that makes me more than sad, but it also reminds me of how often i have been rejected in my life (compared to how VERY little i've been accepted) by girls and how lonely i am. it's very hard to put those things down on paper. i read it and think, "that's not true." and i really can't say why i put something down like that if it's not something i really believe but only have in the back of my mind... way back.
as far as manson goes, you got the wrong album! "smells like children" came out in '95, after his first album, "portrait of an american family" ('94) and right before his most controversial and most well-known album, "antichrist superstar" ('96). "smells like children" is just a re-mix of songs from the first album, along with 3 covers from patti smith, screamin' jay hawkins, and one of the songs that made him famous, the eurythmics cover of "sweet dreams (are made of this)." other than the covers and the remixes, everything else is soundbytes, noises, and weird shit just to stick in-between the main stuff. hahaha. i'm sorry that your first exposure was to that and not any of his real stuff.
diane, thank you. i wouldn't say that i'm that self-aware. in the back of my mind i think these things but it's very, very difficult for me to accept any of it. this poem was brought about because of an awkward relationship i have with a co-worker. when you work together for years with someone things always change. feelings get involved, and it can't be described as love or close friendship or anything like that... but after it begins to get physical you begin to question what it's all about. it turns out this time that it was all about nothing and that makes me more than sad, but it also reminds me of how often i have been rejected in my life (compared to how VERY little i've been accepted) by girls and how lonely i am. it's very hard to put those things down on paper. i read it and think, "that's not true." and i really can't say why i put something down like that if it's not something i really believe but only have in the back of my mind... way back.
as far as manson goes, you got the wrong album! "smells like children" came out in '95, after his first album, "portrait of an american family" ('94) and right before his most controversial and most well-known album, "antichrist superstar" ('96). "smells like children" is just a re-mix of songs from the first album, along with 3 covers from patti smith, screamin' jay hawkins, and one of the songs that made him famous, the eurythmics cover of "sweet dreams (are made of this)." other than the covers and the remixes, everything else is soundbytes, noises, and weird shit just to stick in-between the main stuff. hahaha. i'm sorry that your first exposure was to that and not any of his real stuff.
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
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Nightstalker
- Posts: 142
- Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:31 pm
- Location: rural NC USA
Teratogen,
I have read your poem now several times and am glad that you posted your feelings and circumstances because I was saying to myself as I read, "What a lonely person this must be and how much he wanted this situation to be satisfying". But "I died to believe in something so wrong" and all the pain and useless tears followed.
However, if I remember correctly there are many lovely waves in the ocean near you.........
I have read your poem now several times and am glad that you posted your feelings and circumstances because I was saying to myself as I read, "What a lonely person this must be and how much he wanted this situation to be satisfying". But "I died to believe in something so wrong" and all the pain and useless tears followed.
However, if I remember correctly there are many lovely waves in the ocean near you.........
"For the captain had quitted the long drawn strife
And in far Simoree had taken a wife." (R Kipling)
And in far Simoree had taken a wife." (R Kipling)
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Diane
Hi T,
Thanks for your honest writing here. I am sorry you have felt rejected and that you are lonely. I know how bad it feels. You write that you have been accepted very little by girls, with the 'very' in capitals and emphasised. I would take a guess that you have a false belief that girls should not accept you and that they are not going to. If you do have this belief, it is a lie you tell yourself, a false belief. One day you will know "in your bones" that it is a lie. Until then, just keep risking sharing how you feel about things, especially those things that lurk at the back of your mind and the things you are afraid you might believe.
The good looking, intelligent young man that you are will be accepted by many girls in the future, I'm sure of it.
But only if you don't play them that appalling MM cd . OK, I'll ask my friend's daughter if she has anything better before I give up on him completely.
Take care,
Diane
in the back of my mind i think these things but it's very, very difficult for me to accept any of it. this poem was brought about because of an awkward relationship i have with a co-worker. when you work together for years with someone things always change. feelings get involved, and it can't be described as love or close friendship or anything like that... but after it begins to get physical you begin to question what it's all about. it turns out this time that it was all about nothing and that makes me more than sad, but it also reminds me of how often i have been rejected in my life (compared to how VERY little i've been accepted) by girls and how lonely i am. it's very hard to put those things down on paper. i read it and think, "that's not true." and i really can't say why i put something down like that if it's not something i really believe but only have in the back of my mind... way back.
Thanks for your honest writing here. I am sorry you have felt rejected and that you are lonely. I know how bad it feels. You write that you have been accepted very little by girls, with the 'very' in capitals and emphasised. I would take a guess that you have a false belief that girls should not accept you and that they are not going to. If you do have this belief, it is a lie you tell yourself, a false belief. One day you will know "in your bones" that it is a lie. Until then, just keep risking sharing how you feel about things, especially those things that lurk at the back of your mind and the things you are afraid you might believe.
The good looking, intelligent young man that you are will be accepted by many girls in the future, I'm sure of it.
But only if you don't play them that appalling MM cd
. OK, I'll ask my friend's daughter if she has anything better before I give up on him completely. Take care,
Diane
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
- Contact:
you are welcome, diane. i'd like to say thank you to both of you (diane and nightstalker), but like with lizzy's comment, i feel that it's awkward to really say thank you for the compliment towards the poem. it's almost like dying on your birthday, or getting a scholarship when all you want to do is drop out.
as far as your advice and helpfulness go, diane, i can only hope that you are right. but yes, i have pretty much accepted my destiny that i was not meant to find love in this world and love was not meant to find me.
and yes, diane, please find some other manson material before completely giving him up. if anything, please pay attention to the lyrics. i do have to say this though, in case you get one of these albums: no one else has ever done anything like what he has done. he has created a musical triptych; 3 albums that go together as one story. first was "antichrist superstar," then "mechanical animals," and finally "holy wood (in the shadow of the valley of death)." you may not think they have anything to do with each other if you listen to the music on the surface, but this is where the lyrics play a very important role. besides the story they all tell, there are MANY things underneath it all. i can tell you after research upon research that there is one giant onion, with layers upon layers of things going on in his songs. subjects range from numerology to alchemy to aleistar crowley to satanism to christianity (which is more obvious) to the media to the kabbalah (BEFORE it was made famous by madonna) to john f. kennedy to the freemasons to the beatles and to books such as "1984" and "brave new world." i may even be forgetting several things here, but it all goes very deep and his lyrics can be dissected and interpreted for hours on end before coming up with anything concrete. not only that, but PAY ATTENTION to the album artwork. it's very important to what goes on in the albums. if you happen to get something other than these 3 albums you'll either get his first album, "portrait of an american family," which is more juvenile, but still has its merits, or "the golden age of grotesque," his last album, which is immersed in the culture of 1930s germany. his last album was critically panned, but everything else has been given great reviews. and you don't have to take my word for that. anyway... sorry for ranting. you can tell that i'm very passionate about this stuff. i'll let you learn about most of it for yourself though.
as far as your advice and helpfulness go, diane, i can only hope that you are right. but yes, i have pretty much accepted my destiny that i was not meant to find love in this world and love was not meant to find me.
and yes, diane, please find some other manson material before completely giving him up. if anything, please pay attention to the lyrics. i do have to say this though, in case you get one of these albums: no one else has ever done anything like what he has done. he has created a musical triptych; 3 albums that go together as one story. first was "antichrist superstar," then "mechanical animals," and finally "holy wood (in the shadow of the valley of death)." you may not think they have anything to do with each other if you listen to the music on the surface, but this is where the lyrics play a very important role. besides the story they all tell, there are MANY things underneath it all. i can tell you after research upon research that there is one giant onion, with layers upon layers of things going on in his songs. subjects range from numerology to alchemy to aleistar crowley to satanism to christianity (which is more obvious) to the media to the kabbalah (BEFORE it was made famous by madonna) to john f. kennedy to the freemasons to the beatles and to books such as "1984" and "brave new world." i may even be forgetting several things here, but it all goes very deep and his lyrics can be dissected and interpreted for hours on end before coming up with anything concrete. not only that, but PAY ATTENTION to the album artwork. it's very important to what goes on in the albums. if you happen to get something other than these 3 albums you'll either get his first album, "portrait of an american family," which is more juvenile, but still has its merits, or "the golden age of grotesque," his last album, which is immersed in the culture of 1930s germany. his last album was critically panned, but everything else has been given great reviews. and you don't have to take my word for that. anyway... sorry for ranting. you can tell that i'm very passionate about this stuff. i'll let you learn about most of it for yourself though.
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
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Diane
Hi T,
Thanks for extra MM info. It might be a bit too dark for me to start getting into now, but I'll let you know if I can get hold of any of the albums you mention. Someone else has just recommended him to me, too.
Good wishes,
Diane
Nonsense of the highest degree.i was not meant to find love in this world and love was not meant to find me.
Thanks for extra MM info. It might be a bit too dark for me to start getting into now, but I'll let you know if I can get hold of any of the albums you mention. Someone else has just recommended him to me, too.
Good wishes,
Diane
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Teratogen
- Posts: 1653
- Joined: Mon Jun 21, 2004 11:09 pm
- Location: Santa Clarita, California
- Contact:
"Rock and roll is dead, but I am its revival. I'm prophesied by sages died, from Buddha to the Bible." --TERATOGEN
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen (music page)
http://www.myspace.com/teratogen666 (personal page)
http://www.facebook.com/#!/TheNoHoldsBard?ref=profile (Facebook page)
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Diane
T, can you remember a time when you believed something and now believe its opposite? Please think of something you once strongly believed but something happened to change your mind and you now have the opposite view. Do you accept that it is possible for things to turn around in this way? If you do, then you can only keep an open mind.
Am I right or am I correct?
Diane
Am I right or am I correct?
Diane