HEY ANOTHER POEM

[kate]

Thankyou for all of your comments they mean alot, i take all critisism and comments to heart because i know that in the long run they will make me more confident in my writing, so thankyou all for your comments.
i know a few of you mentioned that i seem to rhyme but i find that when i write down my thoughts, they porgress into a rhyme.

i am sixteen, i just feel alot more mature, there is so much to life other than going out with friends and getting drunk, i like to show appreciation to people and i hope to be a successful writer one day, and as far away as that day may seem i like to try and write in hope that as i get older my skills will develop and i will find my true capability and will use my creativity in my writing.

here is another poem (again rhyming) but i wrote this poem in memory of my uncle gordon, who sadly passed away.
i would love to hear your feelings i hope you can empathise and feel certain feelings which i felt.

The thoughts I share with you - In memory of my dear uncle James Gordon McConnell (1938-2002)


Crumpled words; misshaped silent suggestions
Distant thoughts, unanswered heart filled questions,
Unheard memories, dreams trapped in the dying mind
Your spirit held back, your immortal soul disinclined.

The clear memory enshrouded in my comely mind
Keeps your soul alive, your dancing spirit intertwined,
The dreams you shared uplifts those I desire to fulfil
Strong forces push me; the force is your soul fulfilling Gods will.

Broken promises, two souls were moved further apart,
Promised to see you again, instead you left and took my heart.
Clear visions remain in the mind, colourful and beautiful they are
Close to me always now, as you soul and body left to travel afar.

Your illness was your reason, to see the life that was hidden,
To see the family you left behind, to fulfil your wanted vision.
You came into our lives and I am ever so glad you did,
You relieved my curiosity; the roving of my mind was rid…

Now that you are in gods hands, and safe from danger and pain
You smile with happiness, as your soul dances in the heavenly rain.
You presence will remain here, until we meet in the skies,
Knew memories form in my mind, my mind which you comprise

I remain here now, and watch the sun go down,
I see your face in the rose-hued sunset; you wear a smile and not a frown
I see your life written in the bricks, of the path I walk upon
If I ever seek advice I know where to look, it is you that I call on…