I HAVE BEEN GREATLY INSPIRED BY LEONARD COHEN I AM JUST SIXTEEN YEARS OLD BUT THE THINGS OTHER SIXTEEN YEAR OLDS ARE DOING IT IS THE EXACT OPPISITE TO WHAT I AM DOING!
I LOVE WRITING POETRY AND TO YOU OUT THERE ARE ALSO ENHANCED AND INSPIRED BY LEONARDS POEMS I HOPE I CAN SHARE ONE OF MY OWN POEMS WITH YOU, WHICH ARE NOWHERE AS DEEP AS LEONARDS BUT I HOPE YOU CAN ENJOY IT AND COMMENT ON IT. HERE IT IS:
Our world 11/12/2005
The omnipotent God, benevolent and holy,
Created the finest living creatures of all time
But reason arose to contradict this idea
As evolution was corrupted with war and crime
Children’s eyes burnt with fear.
A world at war, the reasons unclear
Greed, hunger, the blame gets thrown,
The depth of hate has definitely grown,
Whenever the world falls apart,
When disaster strikes, the troubles start,
People blame God for allowing the pain,
They lose their faith, yet they pray again
In times like this, God is giving a test,
To see if mankind can be at their best,
To see if troubles can be put aside,
To watch us work together to rebuild our lives,
We were Gods artwork, we’re were one,
But greed took over, the separation was done,
Power possessed few, money tempted all,
With money came power, the desire to control
So now the world has become one big mess,
Too much hate, love is much less,
Times have changed, we our own masters
Our own creator, we create the disasters,
So don’t blame god for self inflicted pain,
Blame temptation, let the greedy explain,
Explain why your children will be afraid,
Afraid of war and the next decade,
It all began good, until evil possessed one,
The disease spread throughout, the damage was done,
God gave us choice, we chose to hate,
Was this meant to be, was it simply just fate..
I AM A DEVOTED CHRISTIAN AND I JUST WANTED TO SHOW OTHERS HOW I THINK TODAYS WORLD IS PORTRAYED
XXXX KATE XXXX
******Posted by Kate in London / Jarkko**********
MY POEM WHAT DO YOU THINK
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(Kate)
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Young dick c.
- Posts: 368
- Joined: Tue Nov 22, 2005 3:40 am
- Location: in the bunker
This may truly be a young person here, posting their poem to share. It took guts to do that. The forum can be a scary place, even for me, and I'm old and feeble. So...good luck to you young person. Your journals and your poems will help you express yourself and your feelings and can be important tools to get you through the bad days.
(And if I am still naive at 50! believing this was an honest post from an honest kid...then I need to grow up I guess). But, you know, if growing up means seeing trolls everywhere...then I don't know...).
Now where did I drop that damn glass slipper?
(And if I am still naive at 50! believing this was an honest post from an honest kid...then I need to grow up I guess). But, you know, if growing up means seeing trolls everywhere...then I don't know...).
Now where did I drop that damn glass slipper?
Kate, the message is the important thing in this poem, not the flow. I encourage you to keep writing. Most of my poetry rhymes but sometimes it just flows out like an abstract painting and I let it go where it wills and don't try to make it rhyme. I love it when Leonard's poems rhyme but they still work beautifully when they don't. Not everyone has that gift. Remember true poetry protrays a message, an emotion, an idea, and paints an image upon the heart. I hate "word scatterings" as I call them and things that anyone can write but a poem that comes from the soul, that's a wonderful present. Thank you for sharing yours.
Dear Kate ~
I also take you to be who you say you are. If I'm wrong, well, I've been accused of that before, too. Yet, I continue to choose to believe, and will embrace that over cynicism, today, any day, and the remaining days of my life.
You've written a meaningful poem, and that's what matters. If by some chance, you're not 16, then there's a part of you that still wants to be. That's also a part that many of us can relate to in one way or another, at one time or another. In reality, age is truly ageless. We are who are and there's a continuity in that, regardless of the number of years we've been here. That's a reality that most any 'older' person can confirm.
You write beyond age 16, at least what '16' connoted when I was that age; yet, our world has changed, and young people look older than they did when I was younger. Still, you say your interests are near opposite to what others your age are... that is VERY easy to believe, from all I see. So, blessed be, Kate. With what you have to give, you have a good life ahead of you. I hope the world treats you well.
Thank you for sharing your insightful poem, and for sharing its context, in terms of your chosen faith.
Welcome to the Forum, Kate
. Please keep sharing your thoughts and words 
.
~ Lizzy
I also take you to be who you say you are. If I'm wrong, well, I've been accused of that before, too. Yet, I continue to choose to believe, and will embrace that over cynicism, today, any day, and the remaining days of my life.
You've written a meaningful poem, and that's what matters. If by some chance, you're not 16, then there's a part of you that still wants to be. That's also a part that many of us can relate to in one way or another, at one time or another. In reality, age is truly ageless. We are who are and there's a continuity in that, regardless of the number of years we've been here. That's a reality that most any 'older' person can confirm.
You write beyond age 16, at least what '16' connoted when I was that age; yet, our world has changed, and young people look older than they did when I was younger. Still, you say your interests are near opposite to what others your age are... that is VERY easy to believe, from all I see. So, blessed be, Kate. With what you have to give, you have a good life ahead of you. I hope the world treats you well.
Thank you for sharing your insightful poem, and for sharing its context, in terms of your chosen faith.
Welcome to the Forum, Kate
. Please keep sharing your thoughts and words .~ Lizzy
Re: MY POEM WHAT DO YOU THINK
Kate,
I don't know if you are truly 16. If you are, you've expressed
yourself well for your age.
I don't know if you are truly 16. If you are, you've expressed
yourself well for your age.
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Nightstalker
- Posts: 142
- Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 5:31 pm
- Location: rural NC USA
I do hope that you are candid -- I accept that de facto until proven otherwise -- and I enjoyed your poem. It is very difficult to express oneself let alone publish that for anyone to read. You did well. You see many of the world's and mankind's problems and are bothered by them while feeling some despair that you cannot correct the issues. Good for you.
I hope you understand that a forum like this attracts people from many countries, traditions and belief systems, such as: agnostics, atheists, Moslems, Buddhists, Jews, Jaines, Taoists, and that while some will be kind, some will attack almost anything. Please continue to post and do not be driven off by anything we write. Dialogue in today's world is of utmost importance.
That said, I will address one of your lines because it poses the major enigma with which we all contend.
"It all began good, until evil possessed one,"
(What I write here is not meant to shake the faith of a Christian but to help you grow in understanding. I hope you accept it as only that. My religion allows me to 'wrestle with G-d' and I do. I still do have faith however in his existance after all my human limited mechanations. In my opinion our efforts in attempting to understand the mind, greatness and all properties of Him are like an amoeba trying to understand how humans have walked on the moon. But we still must try.) The problem philosophically with this verse is that it is self contradictory. If 'all' began totally 'good' and under the auspices of an omnipotent being then there is no 'evil' and never could be. Do you understand? If you do, then I suggest that you begin in depth studies of the viewpoints of various belief systems so that you will be knowledgeable about viewpoints concerning this issue. I'd suggest studying the appropriate musings of Aristotle, Plato, Maimonedes, Muhamed, Ghandi, Hawking, Graham and many others in order to have a more complete understanding of this most important of issues. Good luck in your journey.
I hope you understand that a forum like this attracts people from many countries, traditions and belief systems, such as: agnostics, atheists, Moslems, Buddhists, Jews, Jaines, Taoists, and that while some will be kind, some will attack almost anything. Please continue to post and do not be driven off by anything we write. Dialogue in today's world is of utmost importance.
That said, I will address one of your lines because it poses the major enigma with which we all contend.
"It all began good, until evil possessed one,"
(What I write here is not meant to shake the faith of a Christian but to help you grow in understanding. I hope you accept it as only that. My religion allows me to 'wrestle with G-d' and I do. I still do have faith however in his existance after all my human limited mechanations. In my opinion our efforts in attempting to understand the mind, greatness and all properties of Him are like an amoeba trying to understand how humans have walked on the moon. But we still must try.) The problem philosophically with this verse is that it is self contradictory. If 'all' began totally 'good' and under the auspices of an omnipotent being then there is no 'evil' and never could be. Do you understand? If you do, then I suggest that you begin in depth studies of the viewpoints of various belief systems so that you will be knowledgeable about viewpoints concerning this issue. I'd suggest studying the appropriate musings of Aristotle, Plato, Maimonedes, Muhamed, Ghandi, Hawking, Graham and many others in order to have a more complete understanding of this most important of issues. Good luck in your journey.
"For the captain had quitted the long drawn strife
And in far Simoree had taken a wife." (R Kipling)
And in far Simoree had taken a wife." (R Kipling)
Hi Nightstalker ~
Great suggestion you've given a young person, or a person of any age, on exploring other writers, thinkers, philosophers, and religious/spiritual people.
GREAT analogy ! Wish I'd thought of it .
~ Lizzy
Great suggestion you've given a young person, or a person of any age, on exploring other writers, thinkers, philosophers, and religious/spiritual people.
In my opinion our efforts in attempting to understand the mind, greatness and all properties of Him are like an amoeba trying to understand how humans have walked on the moon.
GREAT analogy
! Wish I'd thought of it .~ Lizzy
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(Kate)
Hi everyone
Thankyou for all of your comments they mean alot, i take all critisism and comments to heart because i know that in the long run they will make me more confident in my writing, so thankyou all for your comments.
i know a few of you mentioned that i seem to rhyme but i find that when i write down my thoughts, they porgress into a rhyme.
i am sixteen, i just feel alot more mature, there is so much to life other than going out with friends and getting drunk, i like to show appreciation to people and i hope to be a successful writer one day, and as far away as that day may seem i like to try and write in hope that as i get older my skills will develop and i will find my true capability and will use my creativity in my writing.
here is another poem (again rhyming) but i wrote this poem in memory of my uncle gordon, who sadly passed away.
i would love to hear your feelings i hope you can empathise and feel certain feelings which i felt.
The thoughts I share with you - In memory of my dear uncle James Gordon McConnell (1938-2002)
Crumpled words; misshaped silent suggestions
Distant thoughts, unanswered heart filled questions,
Unheard memories, dreams trapped in the dying mind
Your spirit held back, your immortal soul disinclined.
The clear memory enshrouded in my comely mind
Keeps your soul alive, your dancing spirit intertwined,
The dreams you shared uplifts those I desire to fulfil
Strong forces push me; the force is your soul fulfilling Gods will.
Broken promises, two souls were moved further apart,
Promised to see you again, instead you left and took my heart.
Clear visions remain in the mind, colourful and beautiful they are
Close to me always now, as you soul and body left to travel afar.
Your illness was your reason, to see the life that was hidden,
To see the family you left behind, to fulfil your wanted vision.
You came into our lives and I am ever so glad you did,
You relieved my curiosity; the roving of my mind was rid…
Now that you are in gods hands, and safe from danger and pain
You smile with happiness, as your soul dances in the heavenly rain.
You presence will remain here, until we meet in the skies,
Knew memories form in my mind, my mind which you comprise
I remain here now, and watch the sun go down,
I see your face in the rose-hued sunset; you wear a smile and not a frown
I see your life written in the bricks, of the path I walk upon
If I ever seek advice I know where to look, it is you that I call on…
******Posted by Kate. / Jarkko**********
i know a few of you mentioned that i seem to rhyme but i find that when i write down my thoughts, they porgress into a rhyme.
i am sixteen, i just feel alot more mature, there is so much to life other than going out with friends and getting drunk, i like to show appreciation to people and i hope to be a successful writer one day, and as far away as that day may seem i like to try and write in hope that as i get older my skills will develop and i will find my true capability and will use my creativity in my writing.
here is another poem (again rhyming) but i wrote this poem in memory of my uncle gordon, who sadly passed away.
i would love to hear your feelings i hope you can empathise and feel certain feelings which i felt.
The thoughts I share with you - In memory of my dear uncle James Gordon McConnell (1938-2002)
Crumpled words; misshaped silent suggestions
Distant thoughts, unanswered heart filled questions,
Unheard memories, dreams trapped in the dying mind
Your spirit held back, your immortal soul disinclined.
The clear memory enshrouded in my comely mind
Keeps your soul alive, your dancing spirit intertwined,
The dreams you shared uplifts those I desire to fulfil
Strong forces push me; the force is your soul fulfilling Gods will.
Broken promises, two souls were moved further apart,
Promised to see you again, instead you left and took my heart.
Clear visions remain in the mind, colourful and beautiful they are
Close to me always now, as you soul and body left to travel afar.
Your illness was your reason, to see the life that was hidden,
To see the family you left behind, to fulfil your wanted vision.
You came into our lives and I am ever so glad you did,
You relieved my curiosity; the roving of my mind was rid…
Now that you are in gods hands, and safe from danger and pain
You smile with happiness, as your soul dances in the heavenly rain.
You presence will remain here, until we meet in the skies,
Knew memories form in my mind, my mind which you comprise
I remain here now, and watch the sun go down,
I see your face in the rose-hued sunset; you wear a smile and not a frown
I see your life written in the bricks, of the path I walk upon
If I ever seek advice I know where to look, it is you that I call on…
******Posted by Kate. / Jarkko**********