Some Women

[J Hillenburg]

I wanted to come back to you guys with a good one. Critic scared me away. Hopefully this works.
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Some women walk right in and reach for your heart
inspiring a crazy longing to know them well.
Some women leave you uncertain of how to start
to share those secrets you never dared to tell.

Some women come into your life with such noise
that you believe you have perhaps been saved.
And some women are never able to share the joys
to which you have held true, though you’ve raved.

Some women are predators, much like I have been,
one of many typical cancers on the name of love.
Some women leave me numb only to return again;
I pretend I do not know what they’re thinking of.

But some women seem to make me a better man,
urging me on to heights I have seldom known.
And some women encourage me to understand
faults I find in others that in myself I condone.

[lizzytysh]

Hi J ~

It's good to see you back, and I'm sorry to hear that anything or anyone scared you off. This time, just stay .

As always, I enjoy the way you look into yourself, even though you speak of Some Women. You've highlighted some relationship/budding relationship/failed relationship realities. You do well in demonstrating how different people affect us so ~ differently ~ and bring out various parts of ourselves. As you speak of those differences, was there one you preferred?

I'm glad you're back.

~ Lizzy

[Martine]

deleted

[Tri-me]

Nice it could be a man too i like poems that can work both ways, brilliant.

[lizzytysh]

Good point on its asexuality, Tri-me. I thought of various men who have been in my life as I read it, as well as wondered exactly which of those was how they may have perceived me.

[J Hillenburg]

Well, Lizzy, as far as which one I preferred... I have a sort of grim joke
I often relate to friends that I've too often been a man who walks into a room and falls in love with the sickest woman in the room, and the truly mature, loving one bores me to tears. I'm only half-joking though - there's a considerable grain of truth in my "joke".

Critc2 isn't around anymore? The withering criticism he had for many people here made me wonder when I was next. Too often I feel I'm not a poet in any shape or form, and merely a fairly proficient "ditty" writer. I tend to not believe people when they praise my work, and wholeheartedly believe them when they say it is poor or abysmal. Please don't let that stop anyone from telling me when something isn't up to snuff - just don't say it sucks, explain to me what's wrong and how I can make subsequent works even better.

But thanks for the praise I got for this one. I thought it was good, but I didn't trust my judgement. I wanted feedback. I always want feedback. A writer doesn't get better if they don't get feedback - positive or negative. I am very well read and I always aim for my work to hopefully reach the lofty heights of the very best I've read. It is an often unreasonable ambition.

Again, it's good to be back.

[Tri-me]

A man that was helping me with a script told me
A good writer writes everyday, right? Or did he mean? write.

I have to be more disciplined and write more often and I totally agree about the request for feedback. I apreciate it too.

[mickey_one]

Critc2 isn't around anymore? The withering criticism he had for many people here made me wonder when I was next. Too often I feel I'm not a poet in any shape or form, and merely a fairly proficient "ditty" writer. I tend to not believe people when they praise my work, and wholeheartedly believe them when they say it is poor or abysmal. Please don't let that stop anyone from telling me when something isn't up to snuff - just don't say it sucks, explain to me what's wrong and how I can make subsequent works even better.

But thanks for the praise I got for this one. I thought it was good, but I didn't trust my judgement. I wanted feedback. I always want feedback. A writer doesn't get better if they don't get feedback - positive or negative. I am very well read and I always aim for my work to hopefully reach the lofty heights of the very best I've read. It is an often unreasonable ambition.

Again, it's good to be back.

Hi J, I have been around but under my name mickey_one. I only bring out Critic2 when I have time to offer a decent analysis of a poem. My “withering criticism” was primarily for certain writing rather than certain people. I would cheer if even the Hallmark Lady herself gave up doggerel.

I am delighted that you are so keen to improve and I note that you are very open to feedback.

Have you yet visited the Egoless site that I have mentioned before? The opportunity to post and comment anonymously gives a chance for the writer to be assessed objectively, and also removes an excuse when he doesn’t get easy praise from friends!