poem about two Indian sisters

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bacarolle
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2002 8:46 am

poem about two Indian sisters

Post by bacarolle »

An Explanation

Fourteen years of age,
Preeti’s younger sister
and Indian insect-like with large eyes
and with her world-weary look,

She really is beautiful
Except her head’s too small
And her chin’s too weak
But she really is.

They’re both beautiful,
But her older sister
Is beautiful in an ancient, noble way
And I love her…

I think of that one day
I spent with the younger sister
Walking into the CD shop
Like it was something to get excited about

That old, British employee held her interest
He looked a bit like David Bowie
He knew a lot about music, big deal
When did I get so judgmental?

But then I realized
He was looking at both her and me in the same way
I could be her boyfriend
I could be her age

All that I never did between fourteen and nineteen
All that I look down upon
All that I was afraid of
All of that self-indulgence
Does seem beautiful in such a graceful body

I could pretend to be that young:
Ingesting Aterol on rooftops
Without the future weighing me down
After all, there are people my age who are still that young

...But her older sister,
Who is a perfect friend
Loves me, in part, because she believes
I transcend all of that immature behavior

I don’t
KRTEK
Posts: 28
Joined: Thu Nov 28, 2002 1:45 pm

Post by KRTEK »

I kind of was there in the store with all of you
when I read it
I almost saw the look of the seller
I guess I'll have to read it again
krtek
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Vesuvius
Posts: 374
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2002 9:31 am
Location: Italy

Post by Vesuvius »

I would like to meet these sisters. They sound like the kind of people you would like to meet.
bacarolle
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2002 8:46 am

yeah...

Post by bacarolle »

it's less of a poem and more of a tribute
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lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

Very descriptive....they come alive. What a day for you to remember, Bacarolle...and to whom is your explanation?
bacarolle
Posts: 5
Joined: Fri Dec 20, 2002 8:46 am

Post by bacarolle »

Hmm i guess i was just answering a question I had myself. I was just thinking how the poem itself wasn't very focused on a flow of the words, etc. And I believe that rythmic flow of words should be a main focus of poetry. It's not that there isn't any rhythm, it's just too inconsistent and conversational for my tastes. But I still like it!
greg
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed Dec 11, 2002 3:39 pm

Post by greg »

Hi Bacarolle,

I liked it, too - but partly because of the converstional style.

greg
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