Poem No. 5

Critic2 · Post by **Critic2** » Tue May 10, 2005 10:01 pm

No Gain

She hides her demur
evades every question
constructs her collusion
reforms her direction
engages no mercy
tirades the high stance
pleads her compassion
accepts no last chance
she counters displeasure with
satin and stain
invoking insistence
overtly no pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gain)

________________________________

quite good but calls for a bit more substance

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed May 11, 2005 12:50 am

This has an excellent cadence and the rhymes are welcome. It paints an interesting picture of the subject. I do wish a bit more had been disclosed.

Nice piece!

regards,
Laurie

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Wed May 11, 2005 3:25 am

I agree, much more should have been disclosed. But the colour, the composition...I only wish that more had been disclosed because I'm interested in things that don't concern me. Otherwise, I think this has a nice ambiance.

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Wed May 11, 2005 3:38 am

On second thought, I really like this one quite a lot.

No I can't go into a lot of detail as to why. I just do. It's instincutal, I tell you.

Linda.

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Wed May 11, 2005 4:02 am

I guess it doesn't help that I have Master Poems on in the background, but I do like this for whatever reason. Sorry, but that's the best I can do. I can't explore it further. I just like it. That's all.

Linda.

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Wed May 11, 2005 9:25 pm

this poem has been tampered with... something has gone missing from the original version

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed May 11, 2005 9:30 pm

What!?! So, make the correction! It's only the second one I've read so far. Disturbing news on the omission. Paula

? Judgy-thingy

? Great last line, too

.

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Wed May 11, 2005 9:36 pm

No Gain

She hides her demur
evades every question
constructs her collusion
reforms her direction
engages no mercy
tirades the high stance
pleads her compassion
accepts no last chance
she counters displeasure with
satin and stain
invoking insistence
overtly no pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gain)

Pete this is what I got. I know I said how hard can it be but has there been a cock-up

What has gone missing

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Wed May 11, 2005 10:53 pm

She hides her demur
evades every question
constructs her collusion
reforms her direction
engages no mercy
tirades the high stance
pleads her compassion
accepts no last chance
she counters displeasure with
satin and stain
invoking insistence
overtly no pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gain)

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Wed May 11, 2005 10:55 pm

Pete~!

So clever! Went over all our heads! Good one.

regards,
Laurie

Cia · Post by **Cia** » Wed May 11, 2005 11:02 pm

Clever Pete, you will always be our Secret passion - even thou it might be Liz that stands behind you

So
Elegantly
Corrected
Rightly
Even
Thou
Petes
Anonymous
Secret
Seemed
Illuminated
Of
Narrator

hugs Cia

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Thu May 12, 2005 3:31 pm

Well I don't think that was my mistake Pete I think the italics must have disintergrated by the time it got to my PM box. I have checked and they weren't there. I mean how hard can it be

Pete · Post by **Pete** » Thu May 12, 2005 7:04 pm

I'll let you off this time Paula

You did a wonderful job and I try to make it more complex by using italics..one day we will laugh about this over a mushy pea fritter and a glass of wine.

Pete

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Thu May 12, 2005 8:50 pm

Paula,

I don't think it was your fault. I've copied italics from pms, then by the time they were copied into the message I was sending Joe, everything was in the board's font. There was one italicized, which became un-italicized. The italics could have been lost in the copying process.

That's my theory, at least.

Linda.

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu May 12, 2005 8:56 pm

My theory?

Aliens on the grassy knoll caused this problem. I think maybe Woodward and Bernstein might have have a part in it too.
Oliver Stone is on the case....

L