Fishing Without A Hook

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
LaurieAK
Posts: 1338
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:00 am

Fishing Without A Hook

Post by LaurieAK »

Fishing Without A Hook

The root of morning sprung from between
the vee of mountains cupping a fjord.
The lake, man-made and salt-water was
fed via in-vitro with dolly vardens and
young king salmon. I stood alone at its'
sloping bank with all the usual gear, gazing
past the steam from my black coffee
at the offspring of fog floating above the lake.
My graphite pole, awkward as a broken leg
becomes whole with an easy merge of two
parts. Sinewy and sensitive when cast,
I feel my weights fling over the lake,
dip in and glide back. The purr of circles
possessing, as I reel.



ciao,
Laurie
User avatar
lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

Dear Laurie ~

My brother, who loves to fish, and my nephew, who's a fishing guide, would both love this poem. Great job.

~ Lizzy
LaurieAK
Posts: 1338
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:00 am

Post by LaurieAK »

Hi Lizzy~

Thanks for your comments.

Besides fishing (without a hook) it has another theme built in. And another that put itself there.

I'm not sure if I should spill...I'll sleep on it.

regards,
L
LaurieAK
Posts: 1338
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:00 am

Post by LaurieAK »

Well, for those with baited breath (hahahahaha)....My main underlying theme was supposed to be about a character (narrator) who was longing to get preggers or have a child. It is a purely Fictional piece.

Fishing Without A Hook

The root of morning sprung from between
the vee of mountains cupping a fjord.
The lake, man-made and salt-water was
fed via in-vitro with dolly vardens and
young king salmon. I stood alone at its'
sloping bank with all the usual gear, gazing
past the steam from my black coffee
at the offspring of fog floating above the lake.

Here, the first 2 lines describe a geographic scene. I also attempted to build in some language associated with theme2.
First: "root of morning" is also aurally, "root of mourning." It also was supposed to imply a fertile landscape.
Line 3, man-made and salt-water are both related also to the theme, salt-water being a close description (for me) to amniotic fluid. Also, further on, I chose definite male/female fish types. "In-vitro is self explanatory. "Alone" was with purpose as was "usual gear" (reproductive parts).
I'm not saying this makes sense to anyone but me. It is a glimpse at what in the least enriched my use of language in this piece.
In fact my attempt failed to be noticed by readers, so it failed, period.


My graphite pole, awkward as a broken leg
becomes whole with an easy merge of two
parts. Sinewy and sensitive when cast,
I feel my weights fling over the lake,
dip in and glide back. The purr of circles
possessing, as I reel.

Here also, "easy merge of two…" is theme2 related. And then the poem took itself on a sensual journey that took me along for the ride (no pun intended). The "weights fling…" was also intended to relay a sense of relieving a burden. I repeat, if readers don't 'get it' I failed, at least with Theme2. I'll keep trying…
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”