Sue doesn't know how to make a salad

[Cate]

any resemblance to persons, bananas or cheese living or cultured is purely coincidental ...

Sue doesn't know how to make a salad,

she slices a banana,
cubes some cheese and covers it
with mayonnaise
. . . squeeze tube mayonnaise
she adds walnuts and
calls it a Waldorf Salad.

Her husband picks at it
asks, "where's the lettuce?"

What does he know about posh salads,
about adding culture to a little flat
where the highlight of a day is
the hiss of an iron and scorch marks
pressed into plain white boxers.

[Sideways]

Banana sliced, that's true
(cheese no cube)
what's the matter with your view?

Attend my Salad Seminar,
then you learn my mayo
lives in a jar
(cheese no cube, mayo no tube)

Nuts and rich people
book the Waldorf, price is hell
leave quickly for lack of gel
(cheese no cube, mayo no tube, fuck! no lube)


Her husband picks his nose
asks, "why's that lettuce between my toes?"
the Mayo is lite, and so is his intelligence
this geezer's not bright
(cheese no cube, mayo no tube, fuck! no lube, husband's a rube)


What does he know about Posh Spice,
married to Beckham, that's very nice
where the highlight of their day is
the bliss of an iron-hard cock
pressed in his plain white boxers
by her flat chest with added sock
(cheese no cube, mayo no tube, fuck! no lube, husband's a rube, Posh no boobs)


Sue

[Cate]

I like what's going on in your ( ... )'s

she claims her mayo's from a jar
yet stringy gluey glubs cover her floor,
her eggs and her salad bar

my dear lady, you can not squeeze a jar
I declare that what's in your tube
is not lube
but mayo with a spout


(which is actually kind of a disturbing thing to do Sue - why are you putting mayo in these tubes, are you trying to shock the ironing judges when they take you to one of those fancy hamburger chains?)

[Sideways]

I like what's going on in your ( ... )'s

she claims her mayo's from a jar
yet stringy gluey glubs cover her floor,
her eggs and her salad bar

my dear lady, you can not squeeze a jar
I declare that what's in your tube
is not lube
but mayo with a spout


(which is actually kind of a disturbing thing to do Sue - why are you putting mayo in these tubes, are you trying to shock the ironing judges when they take you to one of those fancy hamburger chains?)

Yes, there is much life in my brackets, as my parentheses, Mum and Dad, used to say.

[Sideways]

and Cate, let me add, it was such fun to write. it's what the interspat is made for - as well as light-hearted banter and photos of cats being inferior to dogs of course.

[Cate]

I like stuff like that, it's a fun and good distraction.

A dog is a pet, a cat is more like a home manager who occasionally likes to crawl on your lap and cough up hair.

added in

blue.jpg (33.88 KiB) Viewed 1746 times

our newest pet, so far - no tricks.

[lizzytysh]

Excellent, Cate.
Perfect balance of details.

[Cate]

Thanks Lizzy