'Dear Leonard'

[Karren B]

I’ve never kept a diary before but have decided that this would be the year to start one… So rather than write to an anonymous little book ‘Dear Diary’, I’ve decided to write to ‘Dear Leonard’… Dear Leonard being all you Cohenites out there! So feel free to advise, criticise, chastise (Hmmm. No that last one's my job), and just remind me that there is always someone worse off than yourself (though we all forget that sometimes)…

Dear Leonard,

A Very Happy New Year To You!

I will be glad to put the last year behind me; after all it was not one of my best. A year when My Soulmate, My lover, my best friend, the man who told me ‘we would be together forever’ left me… Thinking about it, you are partly to blame for my situation, because if it wasn’t for your music I would never have met aforesaid man in the first place...

My life has been somewhat void of your music over the last five months as I still find it brings back too many memories (still not listened to ‘Popular Problems’ yet), although the last time my man and I were together it was at a private function at Bar 12 in Soho where Adam launched his new album… I can’t remember who said it (I think it was somewhere in the Adam Cohen with Jools Holland thread) but they are right; he does swear an awful lot. I myself don’t mind the occasional F**k (or other graphic words), but he really does go for it. When you use the more colourful words in your writings they always seem to have the hint of dirty sex (and remember, Sex is only dirty if it’s done right!), but I don’t think Adam has quite got the hang of that yet (the colourful writing, not the sex part). But I’m sure you can put him on the right track?

Well forgetting all that nonsense and moving swiftly on…

I don’t usually make New Year Resolutions but like the diary thing I’m willing to give them a try this year, so here are my top ten…

1. Learn how to stop loving someone… I don’t think you’ll be much help there Leonard, after all you’ve been looking for the ‘cure for love’ for years (do let us know if you ever find it)!

2. Stop crying into my pillow every night (it’s starting to make the mattress soggy, and not in a good way).

3. Get super fit and see if it’s really possible to crack nuts with your thighs!

4. Take up riding again (mainly horses, but I’m open to suggestions)!

5. Buy a new whip as the last one is worn out. Must have been inferior quality, shouldn’t have snapped in half, was only used lightly (honest).

6. Shorten the chains and manacles on the bed so I don’t get my foot caught in them again whilst making it and nearly fall through the window.

7. Recreate the ‘Songs from the Road’ DVD cover, wearing my long black leather coat; my thigh boots and my leather fedora (watch this space).

8. Search the internet for a new vibrator that goes for walks with you and takes you out to dinner occasionally!

9. Steer clear of all men who declare their undying love for you (they will more than likely be lying)!

10. And last of all. Enjoy Life, it’s too short not to! ...

Well that’s my first diary entry. I wish you all a very Happy and Healthy New Year.

And to my Irishman(though he's no longer mine)! ……………. http://youtu.be/tpTyOermWPI

With Love
Karren XX

At least I can put my avatar back to what I want!

[Cate]

oh my gosh

Karren, they say resilience is one of the main factors in happiness. Your sense of humour strikes me like a candle in a dark room.
I wish you a much better 2015.

psss... please let me know if you find the solution to #1 or #8

~~
Right now I'm watching a PBS special called Hawking - Stephen Hawking is telling his own story. I'm at the part where he says that he didn't really have time to die when he should have because he fell in love with a girl called Jane and had a pretty big question in his mind (Big Bang).
I love people who can find humour in anything and everything.

[Karren B]

Dear Leonard,

Hope you celebrated New Year’s Eve in style and enjoyed every minute of it...
Fortunately the night I had been dreading turned out to be a pretty good one, thanks to a couple of ‘Her Majesty’s Finest’ (Ooh, and they were fine) ! Gave the thigh boots an outing and had a great night out in Windsor. Laughed my way into 2015 (and believe me that wasn’t easy)!

Very dull and wet here today compared to yesterday’s cold but sunny day.


So what a better day to do a bit of serious retail therapy, more new boots, yay, it really does help (not that I have a boot fetish or anything like that)! ...

Talking of fetishes…

Hi cate,

Happy New Year.

I hope life is treating you well and you’re still enjoying the occasional ‘screaming orgasm’? … I do love a good cocktail!

Hoping my sense of humour will see me through, but I always know this ‘backroom of the forum’ is better than any therapy…

Please don’t mention the candle; yes the room was dark and I spent 20 minutes trying to put batteries in it; So it may have struck you as I threw it out the window!

I will keep you informed about #1 & #8….Though I don’t hold out much hope.

Well going to open a bottle of Champagne and enjoy a quiet evening (although a faint buzzing may be heard)…
Advantage to drinking alone is you don’t have to share it.

Take care
With love

Karren XX

[Karren B]

Dear Leonard,

Getting back on track today and actually managed to listen to ‘Popular Problems’ for the first time. Still thinking about it, not quite sure yet! …

Would have been Elvis Presley’s 80th Birthday today. Been listening to some off his songs too (that didn’t help much either). Especially this one.
In that cold and empty bed ‘You’ll think of me’ http://youtu.be/JgwtgnRCguo

Have also added another resolution to the list.

11. Learn to play the guitar (can’t be that difficult can it?). I’ve always been very good with my hands!

Just need to find a guitar teacher that makes house calls, and has good finger technique!

Karren B


Had to add this...http://youtu.be/3JxrzO3sNTY


xxxx

[Karren B]

Dear Leonard,

Beautiful day here even though we had our first snow this morning, it didn’t settle though and went as quick as it came…

Been listening to music most of the day and enjoying it immensely. Forgot how good ‘Ten New Songs’ was, and Mary Gauthiers new album ‘Trouble and Love’ is absolutely divine. Great review here.

http://thatgreenhen.com/youre-no-longer ... -and-love/
If you haven’t got it yet then it’s a must…

Was meant to go to London last Monday but got talked into taking a trip to Brighton instead… All I can say is Brighton is not the best place to be when the weather is less than spring like.

Had a flight around the coastline in a Cessna 172 booked but unfortunately (or fortunately) it was too wet and windy to fly. I then got dragged round the Sea life Centre, I know people keep telling me that there are plenty more fish in the sea, but these were all in tanks, and in my opinion none of them had much going for them! The staff did try to enthuse me with ‘amazing facts’, but I told them unless they’re going to produce a Merman nothing was going to impress me!

We did have a lovely lunch and a few nice glasses of wine (which always helps). Unfortunately the only guys we got to chat to already had boyfriends! Ah well that’s Brighton for you.



Bought another pair of boots this week, really needed them! I just need to give them an outing now. Preferably somewhere I don’t have to do a lot of walking; they’re not that sort of boot (very impractical but ooh so nice). Might take them to the ‘Old Ticket Hall’ tonight, though I’m not sure how safe they will be to walk in after a few glasses of wine?

Have a great weekend and don’t do anything I wouldn’t do (but you’ve probably already done it).

Karren

xxxx