Signs

[ness]

The signs are here, for all to see,
The thunder clouds, the dying tree.
The shining lights, that draw you near,
Loud heavy music, in your ear.

By word of mouth, or through cyber space,
The hidden pictures, of your face,
The northern lights, are dancing south,
The rumours you hear, by word of mouth.

The sign are falling, from the sky,
Raining stars, on the passers by,
While the battle rages, on underground,
The innocent dying, without a sound.

The cries of heaven, the screams in hell,
That no one hears, down in this well,
The terrible beauty, the open wound,
The innocent babies, in open tombs.
For all to see, for all to hear,
The blind man's painting, the deaf man's ear.

The birds are falling, the fishes drowned,
What once was up, has now become down,
The tender and loving, an empty shell,
The gross and the ugly, now the rallying bell.

The signs are here, for all to see,
Titanic sinking, on the dark open sea.

http://labyrintoflies.com

[lizzytysh]

And this one, too, ness... I like how you've taken Leonard's "signs for all to see" and gave them specificity.
The only troublesome part for me is your use of "Titanic sinking" because it throws it back to the past [can't think of the word right now, but it's when someone uses a term, phrase, or whatever out of its proper period context]. for me, it created confusion, to where my instant thought was, "Was this poem about the Titanic??" I glanced back just a bit and saw that it wasn't [of course], but I didn't like that it happened like that. We all associate the Titanic as a symbol of mega, pointless tragedy and loss, but I'm thinking there could be something else you could use there to make your point regarding tragedy and hopelessness.

Otherwise, I like how you've done this... your juxtapositions are effective.

[Jonnie Falafel]

Yes I agree lizzy. Titanic is an anachronism. Why not have the Titanic sailing again to maintain that feeling of impending doom while clarifying that the signs are now. And if i could humbly suggest it sails on a 'wine dark' sea... 'cause then you reference the Odyssey too!

[lizzytysh]

anachronism

THAT'S the word!
Thank you, Jonnie!!!
Couldn't think of it to save my life.

Yes... good suggestion re: how else to use the Titanic... teehee on the Odyssey

[ness]

Thank you for al the comments and suggestions.
It's very interesting for me to hear what the Titanic evokes for you all.
In my world of feeling the Titanic is a metaphor of our world and it self sufficient arrogance heading full steam to it's inevitable defeat.
But Sails again on a wine dark sea could be much better .
Thanks a lot.

[Jonnie Falafel]

Yes Ness... a metaphor for human hubris.... that's why I was thinking an Odyssey reference might be good because that was one long tale of the consequence of hubris. I like the way you've picked up on .LC references and run with them.