http://www.firesides.net/egoless.htm
They are improving this site all the time, it now even has a box of canned critique to add to your own comments on poetry posted there. It doesn't take long to tick boxes which say "show, don't tell"!.
If you are at all interested in improving your writing, have a look at the poems there and the critiques. It is a world away from the "wow" type sites and immeasurably more useful
Another reminder of Egoless poetry site
For what it's worth i concur with C2's promotion of this site. It is a serious poetry forum with really good means to receive concise critiques. It also promotes the giving of critiques, a great learning tool in itself.
This said, my one posted poem, which has received great critiques (not great as in "good job!" but great as in very thoughtfully critical), i am stumped as to what to do now to improve my poem. We get what we deserve in the end......L
This said, my one posted poem, which has received great critiques (not great as in "good job!" but great as in very thoughtfully critical), i am stumped as to what to do now to improve my poem. We get what we deserve in the end......L
Yeah, some of those critiques are sooo indepth. It's a great gift they are giving, job or no job 
Funny thing about my poem; i had just joined the forum and decided right away what olde thing of mine i'd post. I grabbed the poem out of my file and posted it in what i thought was EgoLITE...but it ended up in EgoLESS. Yikes! I have thoroughly appreciated the feedback. After taking the entrance exam, i ended up a 5 rating....i am down to about a 4.65 last time i looked because of my poem's rating by the critics. Again, getting what i deserve
BTW, my poem? Hint: It's the worse one there.
L
Funny thing about my poem; i had just joined the forum and decided right away what olde thing of mine i'd post. I grabbed the poem out of my file and posted it in what i thought was EgoLITE...but it ended up in EgoLESS. Yikes! I have thoroughly appreciated the feedback. After taking the entrance exam, i ended up a 5 rating....i am down to about a 4.65 last time i looked because of my poem's rating by the critics. Again, getting what i deserve
BTW, my poem? Hint: It's the worse one there.
L
ha ha ha! you *can* write, you *you tumbleweed coke can* write!
I thought there was some fab. critique of your verse (even some great compliments- you and your urban, youthful, energetic tone!).
A proper poetry site like that, with its anonymity (blown by you in this tiny way by identifying your poem to me) and egoless criticism is so addictive!
Have you noticed it even has links away for sites where people will routinely "wow" you if that's what you need and you aren't interested in actually learning to improve your writing.
I thought there was some fab. critique of your verse (even some great compliments- you and your urban, youthful, energetic tone!).
A proper poetry site like that, with its anonymity (blown by you in this tiny way by identifying your poem to me) and egoless criticism is so addictive!
Have you noticed it even has links away for sites where people will routinely "wow" you if that's what you need and you aren't interested in actually learning to improve your writing.
Laurie ~
Please point Critic2 to the poem you wrote about looking 'into'/close-up of a bouquet/flower.
Of course she can write, Critic2
~ why else was she so high priority with me for being Judge 
! [I'll forgive her, her momentary 'lapse' with regard to my entry, of course 
~ it's in my own best interest that I do .]
~ Lizzy
Please point Critic2 to the poem you wrote about looking 'into'/close-up of a bouquet/flower.
Of course she can write, Critic2
~ why else was she so high priority with me for being Judge ! [I'll forgive her, her momentary 'lapse' with regard to my entry, of course ~ it's in my own best interest that I do .]~ Lizzy
Lizz~
Ummm, i have never written a poem about looking in to a bouquet/flower....that i remember. You must have me confused with someone else...sorry. Several years ago i did write a poem about my dahlias...but don't think i ever shared.
c2 wrote:
I have been insanely busy with no time to really sit down and try to assimilate all the comments. But at a cursory glance, do feel like i don't know where to go or what to do with my tattered poem
Sigh.
I love the site and can't wait for time to peruse all the links available.
regards,
L
Ummm, i have never written a poem about looking in to a bouquet/flower....that i remember. You must have me confused with someone else...sorry. Several years ago i did write a poem about my dahlias...but don't think i ever shared.
c2 wrote:
When i first posted it, there were a couple of crits showed up pretty quickly...and both were flattering. I was disappointed at that point (crazy, but true) because i was looking for some hard-hitting, tear-jerking, but helpful critisism...it soon showed upha ha ha! you *can* write, you *you tumbleweed coke can* write!
I thought there was some fab. critique of your verse (even some great compliments- you and your urban, youthful, energetic tone!).
I have been insanely busy with no time to really sit down and try to assimilate all the comments. But at a cursory glance, do feel like i don't know where to go or what to do with my tattered poem
Sigh.I love the site and can't wait for time to peruse all the links available.
regards,
L
No ~ I'm sure it was you......a very close-up picture of something! Perhaps, not the subjects I've cited as possibilities, though. Now, I'll have to go search. Drat!
Well, maybe not thoroughly enough, but I've just gone and looked up to April of 2004 ~ and can't find it. Was it maybe a haiku [or regular poem] about a petal falling softly from off the observed flower? Ring, ding, dong ~ any bells with that!?!
Might it have been Makera, if not you? I'd have sworn it was you
.
Well, maybe not thoroughly enough, but I've just gone and looked up to April of 2004 ~ and can't find it. Was it maybe a haiku [or regular poem] about a petal falling softly from off the observed flower? Ring, ding, dong ~ any bells with that!?!
Might it have been Makera, if not you? I'd have sworn it was you
.-
peter danielsen
- Posts: 921
- Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2002 3:45 pm
Lizzy~
ooooh, maybe it was this:
WILD ROSE PETALS
Cupping my fingertips
over their perfumed skins,
I pluck them
From smooth, green cups
Dropping them
Soft, Pink
Feather-like
into the wicker basket at my feet.
Bending down,
I see a petal,
Blushing, lively Pink
Impaled
On it's own young, green thorns.
Leaving it there,
I retrieve my basket
and head home.
????? I can't think on it now, but fear my line end are horrendous!
~~~Peter~~~~
I thought the 'test' at Egoless was appropriate for the site. It was a meter to see if i person had at least some 'schooling' in poetry, or not. If not, hopefully it would/will encourage those who love poetry, but maybe have not read much about its dna to do so.
ooooh, maybe it was this:
WILD ROSE PETALS
Cupping my fingertips
over their perfumed skins,
I pluck them
From smooth, green cups
Dropping them
Soft, Pink
Feather-like
into the wicker basket at my feet.
Bending down,
I see a petal,
Blushing, lively Pink
Impaled
On it's own young, green thorns.
Leaving it there,
I retrieve my basket
and head home.
????? I can't think on it now, but fear my line end are horrendous!
~~~Peter~~~~
I thought the 'test' at Egoless was appropriate for the site. It was a meter to see if i person had at least some 'schooling' in poetry, or not. If not, hopefully it would/will encourage those who love poetry, but maybe have not read much about its dna to do so.
Ahhhhhhhhhh, ooooooooooo, yeeeeeeeesssssssss ~ that is, yes, indeed, it, Laurie. I should have included "pink" in my last notation, as that was the colour I had in my thinking, as it added to its delicacy, making the impaling all the more graphic, albeit's occurring via "young, green thorns". I love this poem. Thank you for finding it 
.
~ Lizzy
. ~ Lizzy
-
peter danielsen
- Posts: 921
- Joined: Thu Jul 11, 2002 3:45 pm
Well, I could sure use some of that schooling. Maybe I'll go take the test and prove it! I know that in some 'arenas' there's a bias against schooling, but schooling has never precluded anyone from going forth and individualizing themselves apart from what they've learned. Being able to assess a writer against that kind of backdrop isn't a 'bad' thing, either; just a useful tool. In fact, for some like me, an outright reprieve .
.