flowers on a virgins grave

This is for your own works!!!
Post Reply
woodyallens
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:02 pm

flowers on a virgins grave

Post by woodyallens »

hi new here.
wrote this yesterday, don't judge it too harshly, especially the spelling and grammer.

flowers on a virgins grave

they laid him down
at noon
when his eyes
were at their widest,
and nobody was there,
and nobody pulled
away after the rain,
and nobody hollered,
and nobody even laughed.

the sky paled like milk,
knowing they'd be no more
roving or
midnight hunting,

those pale limbs flashing
like freight trains,
hungry and haunted by
the raging rocks,
of defeat and desire
and the
ghostly fish that swirl
threw the silt and loam
of his minds merry
hollow

now he lies on the bow,
down on the beaches and
bridge ends,
where the lovely mermaids,
flow and rise
swaying on the rough,
shore
beckoning him to rest.

it was midday when they
found him
his eyes, like soft eggs
above a body of
flotsam and
bleached wood,
they lifted him easily.

and nobody was there,
and nobody cried,
and only
the flowers wept
and bowed their heads
to pat the earth,
wilting
in a final show of
remembrance.
User avatar
lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

Welcome to the Forum, woodyallens. I'm always impressed by the 'bravery' of someone making their entrance through a poem they've written. That was a lot to come up with in one day. Very graphic in its way about someone who has drowned. In spite all that you said in other stanzas that speaks to the same reaction, there was something very touching for me with your last verse; something with the flowers as life doing what they could to honour the loss of other life, here on the earth that we inhabit together. The recognition that 'someone' had to 'be there' for this young life lost.

~ Elizabeth
woodyallens
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Sep 02, 2004 1:02 pm

Post by woodyallens »

thank you elizabeth, that was very kind.
it's nice to be onboard.
tom
LaurieAK
Posts: 1338
Joined: Wed Nov 20, 2002 2:00 am

Post by LaurieAK »

Sad, haunting and full of surprising visions. There is just enough detachment and full on attachment to balance this subject.

I have to admit, I do not care much for the title.

Great poem!

regards,
Laurie
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”