Day For Night

[Teratogen]

Day For Night

I took the day for a lover and all she gave me was the night
I took the day for a lover but all she gave me was the night
If I knew the end was darkness I’d never have turned on the light

She wore a smile so bright that my faith became just a burned-out hole
Yeah, she wore a smile so bright my faith in love was a burning hole
Then she undressed before me and a shadow swallowed up my soul

The nightfall wants to hurt me but sunrise wants to hurt me the worst
It don’t matter how I love you, it seems your love has got me cursed
I thought I would get through the day, oh, but the night had got there first.

Well the sun came out this morning but I was sleeping in my bed
Yeah, the sun came out this morning, but I was curled up in my bed
I’d wake up for your kisses but I’ll just wait for the moon instead

Day for night, night for day—sometimes it might as well be all the same
Day for night, night for day—sometimes, you know, to me it’s all the same
I was waiting here forever, oh, but forever never came.

I took the day for a lover and all she gave me was the night
I took the day for a lover but all she gave me was the night
If I knew the end was darkness I’d never have turned on the light.

My heart is just like an outlaw, the sheriff’s got him on the run
My heart is just like an outlaw, they want to hang him in the sun
Oh, high noon is coming but there’s only one bullet in his gun

I broke all the laws of love but now I’m trying to play it smart
I broke all the laws of love, life, happiness—I broke them all apart
There’s a bounty on my head but you’re gonna collect on my heart

My heart is just like an outlaw—no one on whom he can depend
It dawned on him one day: he’s got no one on whom he can depend
He rode off into the sunset and was never heard from again…

[kwills]

Hi Teratogen I liked that ,it sounds more like a good song lyric than poetry though,if you know what I mean.Have you tried putting it to music?

[Karren B]

Hi T

This should definitely be a song.

Mind you i'm still reeling from the previous poem(loved it).

Karren
xx

[Teratogen]

I was interested in a change of pace. I have not put it to music yet, except for in my head. The entire time I was writing it I wanted to keep meter and verse... y'know, keep a bit of the literary parts in there. Each line is 16 syllables. And I tried to keep with the day/night, dark/light, sun/moon theme.

But the entire time I was thinking about it I was putting it to a blues riff in my head. Then I thought, y'know, blues songs often have clever lyrics, perhaps a bit exaggerated, but clever nonetheless. So that was another intention. It's obvious in nearly every line. Lot of "buts" in there, too. Hahaha. It's like the author is expecting one thing to happen but winds up getting the complete opposite. Those types of things get pointed out in blues songs often I've noticed.

In keeping with a lyric poem form and a bluesy attitude I minimalized the literary aspects on purpose. It still flows but has less direction.

[Geoffrey]

Teratogen wrote:
>I wanted to keep . . . a bit of the literary parts in there. Each line is 16 syllables.

Very nice attempt Jason. Were I brazen enough to pick fault with it, which I most certainly am not, I would draw attention to the inconsistent usage of so-called 'contractions' - the shortening of two words by adding them together - in order to keep within your 16-syllable rule. For example:

>I'd never have turned on the light
>I would get through the day
>I'd wake up for your kisses

It does not really matter, of course. In the end everything is going to be pulverised into dust anyway. So what is the use of trying to be creative, to make something that is perfect? Why bother with it?

-G

[carm]

Teratogen, as I read through your poem, the song called 'Hold On' by Tom Waits, who's music incorporates blues, jazz, and vaudeville by means of a distinctive trademark growl of a voice, immediately played in my mind. I could envision your poem being set to a similar musical style.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knII3S0MZtY

I really like the last six lines of your poem:

I broke all the laws of love but now I’m trying to play it smart
I broke all the laws of love, life, happiness—I broke them all apart
There’s a bounty on my head but you’re gonna collect on my heart

My heart is just like an outlaw—no one on whom he can depend
It dawned on him one day: he’s got no one on whom he can depend
He rode off into the sunset and was never heard from again…

You fingerprint your poem's with a creative Teratogenish flair that gives your writing soul, allowing each individual thought to connect with us, the reader, in so many ways.

[Teratogen]

carm... I could never live with someone like you. I'd die an early death from orgasmic praise. Thank you. I can't say what for, but thank you.

I envisioned--or rather heard--this song in my head a bit heavier (or rather a lot heavier) than this Waits song, but as for the voice... haha, yeah, that is surely what I heard too. I dig Tom Waits. But I will make a confession: I only recently came upon the "new" Cohen song, "The Darkness" (if that's even the official title) and that's where I got the idea for this lyric poem. So, the deep gravelly voice was pretty perfect and suggesting Tom Waits was not far off.

Geoffrey, nice to hear from you. Yeah, I am well aware that I took liberties with contractions. Were I intending to make this a very literary and well-thought out piece I might have spent more time on it selecting perfect words, but I just wanted to insure the specific message of each line and the words only mattered to me if it kept in line with the motifs and themes. When singing a blues song, and in particular this one, I imagine there'd be lots of "babys" and "honeys" and "yeahs" during some pauses anyway. Hahaha.

It does not really matter, of course. In the end everything is going to be pulverised into dust anyway. So what is the use of trying to be creative, to make something that is perfect? Why bother with it?

We bother because we feel the necessity to do so. If we cannot give ourselves purpose then what is the point of life then anyway? Pursuing the things we consider to be important to us and pursuing that which we can, by only human virtue, attribute happiness to, that is why it matters. Sure, striving for perfection may seem like a silly concept anyway, because after all, what is perfection? But the feeling of needing to strive for *something* is where creativity begins. Thinking everything will be pulverized into dust in the end is fine, but living in spite of that is where we can be rebels to inevitability. Sometimes I enjoy that feeling of being the underdog and pretty much well guessing I'm going to lose but going at it anyway. Nobody can then say I gave up.

[Geoffrey]

Teratogen wrote:
>Geoffrey . . . When singing a blues song . . . I imagine there'd be lots of "babys" and "honeys" and "yeahs" during some pauses anyway. Hahaha.

Hahaha indeed, Jason. That is acceptable in certain instances, and even a literary figure of Leonard's calibre occasionally uses such endearing terms as 'baby' when referring to the weaker sex. An intelligent person can act stupid, but a stupid person cannot act intelligent, one might say. Therefore Leonard widens his audience potential by sliding down to the gutter of working class level. By garnishing his songs with a few "baby's" he can appeal to a wider market to include the lesser educated, the ignorant and spiritually bereft rabble, the tattooed trash and gum-chewing scum who's vocabulary betrays the absence of intellect. After all, Leonard needs to put food on the table. It's no use a man of good breeding being aloof and haughty if it is at the cost of being unable to sell his wares.

[Teratogen]

Woah, that's a bit harsh. You don't really believe that, do you?

[Geoffrey]

Woah, that's a bit harsh. You don't really believe that, do you?

Harsh? The truth is often harsh, Jason. We have to accept that in life one finds great variations in quality, and never more so, perhaps, than amongst humankind. Leonard refers to this in a song or two; for example in 'Please don't pass me by' he mentions the hunted, freaks, tyrants, etc. While it is very tempting for the philanthropist to naively embrace his fellow men, it is also of utmost importance to recognise that people are far from identical. Leonard himself is from good stock, the result of generations of pure breeding - hence the well-read, cultured gentleman we see today. He can trace his bloodline back hundreds of years, his forefathers all men of great standing, teachers, priests, etc. Compare this to the tattooed lower classes, those illiteral unfortunates amongst us. Have you ever seen a pub juke-box with a Leonard Cohen record in it? No. Because giving Leonard Cohen to beer-drinking riff-raff is like giving caviar to pigs. It would mean nothing to them. This is why Leonard has started putting "baby" into his lyrics, to try to capture a wider market in order to survive. As he sings in one of his recent songs: "I do what I have to do to get by!" You understand a bit better now?

[Teratogen]

Hahahaha

I'm being had.

[Alsiony]

Woah, that's a bit harsh. You don't really believe that, do you?

Harsh? The truth is often harsh

It can also be in the eye of the beholder, but then you mustn't forget that practice makes perfect...perhaps.


Jason, I think these lyrics are great - will you actually make them into the song?

Thanks for sharing

A
x

[Teratogen]

I don't think so. I mean, I cannot recite this to myself without an accompanying blues riff. I have a song mapped out in my head, but I haven't picked up an instrument let alone record what I do with it in a very long time. Perhaps... one day. Never say never.

[Alsiony]

Well that's great It's nice to stick something on the shelf and then perhaps go back to it sometime, even years later, or just leave it as it is. If you ever transform it into a song, do share it though - I would be great to hear it alive like that.

A
x

[Geoffrey]

Teratogen wrote:
>I have a song mapped out in my head, but I haven't picked up an instrument let alone record what I do with it in a very long time. Perhaps... one day. Never say never.


whatever you do, jason - be alert to energy, excitement and innovasion. forget norms, standard two-a-penny ballads, escalator music, middle of the road acceptability and all that's been done a thousand times before. you'll move nowhere. be daring, outspoken, controversial, dynamic - and get attention. p-p-p-pokerface, p-p-pokerface - ma-ma-ma-ma!! think MUSIC, give your song a pulse!!! the era of deep meditative or poetic lyrics is over, means next to nothing to anyone except a few old sentimental biddies.

geoffrey