The mother lost

[Violet]

This poem is from a few years ago. To me it's the most fragile of subjects. But as far as the mechanics of writing goes, it's rhythm and word spacing that I tend to work with as I tweak, even after long periods of time, when I think a poem is finished. Anyway, I have a rhythm in my mind, and I'm hoping how I write a poem enhances that, so that the reader also gets the rhythm.. Having said that, I like to work visually, too, with words.. so the spacing is somehow the result of "listening" to the mandates of the rhythm, while acceding to the "look" of the thing, which tends to get rather subjective sometimes.. So.. those are some of my "writing issues".. as to my other issues.. well, the poem may offer some clues.. but what I most hope for with poetry, is that these deeper moments of awareness are in some essential way shared in the experience of reading.. and that somehow the "subject" is inseparable from that very specific experience of sight and sound and feeling that's imparted, as one takes in a poem..



The mother lost


there’s a robbery
here

a wound

a victim

only, I am unable
to name it.

just this drawing out
of me

this swollen wanting
driving me

and some small
wonder

at the mother

the mother
lost

within, and of
me


2004

[imaginary friend]

Violet, just wanted to say, that is a wonderful poem.

[Violet]

.. thank you, I.F.. that means a lot to me..

[shaz]

Fantastic Violet

The horror of that loss, is felt between the spaces where the reader pauses and senses that emptiness,
as in the lines that are missing, or the pauses to gasp and grasp the emotive emphasis.

I studied art and the principals were taught as such:

As an artist i was instructed not to complete a line,
to leave spaces in the awkward places
The viewer will replace it just fine
and with eyes precision, fill in all the spaces

So.. in writing like this, as Leonard does also, you are allowing the reader to feel in their own way, own experience,
and gain more from it in a personal way. You are not imposing your interpretation to it, but is abstract in the spaces generously left for us

Shaz

[Cate]

I made sure to read it out loud.

very moving Violet.
Your precision makes the most of each syllable.

[Violet]

Hi Shaz and Cate..

Thank you both.. Shaz, I like how you put that, and it's true, the spaces/pauses between become just as felt as the words, I find..

Cate, I'm glad you said that, and that it worked that way for you.. it reads well to me, but then I have the rhythm already in my head.. so.. it's good to get some confirmation sometimes..

.. thanks again to you both,

v i o l e t

.. oh, gee.. I just realized, Shaz.. you just compared this poem to Leonard's writing.. that is a compliment (!!!)

[shaz]

I added as you commented... so more from me there also... as read a second time.
Shaz

[Violet]

.. oh, dear.. we're crossing posts.. but you'll see I noticed that last comment of yours, and I'm touched by that, I must say.. v.