****Please see "I really don't know love... at all...

[shaz]

When love declared is love thats stolen
When it is very strongly forbidden
With feelings that are true and strong
What do you do to right the wrong?
I decided to change the way it all worked
Why one, to pursue another
Just make that one your lover
So I envisioned a plan to move the love
That each would have who they cared of
That the people would love whom they had committed
And the love would be given, not merely remitted
So I watched the moves of all that love
From here and there and from above
It was not working I could plainly see
Because it seemed like everyone was me
The mess went on and the cleanup was momentous
And all the time, I was love locked and relentless
I could not move from my bed
So I decided that someone else should be in my stead
What people made of this masquerade
Was to despise me for they thought it was poorly made
But in all the bad the good will come
And for loves ventures I am undone
For love will not be my goal anymore
Because love is lost and my understanding poor
Respect and kindness I possess in abundance
And in the job of love have made myself redundant

Sharyn Proctor

[Cate]

Hi Shaz

it says 'read in backwards order - I'm amusing that you mean the series of poems and not this specific poem. Can I suggest that if they are meant to be read in a specific order that you add little numbers beside the tittles or perhaps merge into one thread so that if somebody comments on one the order does not get lost. When you make a comment here, unlike some other forums, that post goes to the top.

so... what are you looking for comment wise?
for example are these finished pieces that you are sharing with us for general thoughts or are you looking for critic and if so what are you comfortable with and is there anything you are uncomfortable with?

[shaz]

Sure, i meant that the last went to the top, so i was amess with the order of things.
comments are for the commenter i expect
expectations i have none really, just acknowledgment.
I am not a poet, just expressing for my own satisfaction and completion to things.
So, comments can be the mirror of what the reader would see.
Some may see typos, and some may see grammatical errors, or better ways to say something.
I also want to share the words as they may be an inspiration to another version,
or song for someone.
Thing is i don't read books, but i listen to songs mostly, and therefore spelling etc. is not good.
Some have experience in life, and others are talented to put them to good use,
so me being here is to hopefully inspire works for others...
Possibly a collaborative thread would be nice.
I will number the poems in some order, thanks for taking the time to comment and connect

Shaz

[Alsiony]

I think that, in some regards - how you physically put something down isn't the point - what you are actually saying is.

You have a lovely warm character and seem naturally inspired.

I love your philosophy on it all

A
x

[shaz]

You are so sweet, thank you