The world was beginning

[Teratogen]

The world was beginning

The world was beginning
to tell me a story
about its struggle to forge an identity
as a planetary sanctuary of love and beauty
in a universe of malevolence and murder,
greatly understating
the powerful effect of humanity.
As the world was coming to its conclusion
I was preparing
to make my comeback.

[Violet]

.. I think I know what you mean, T..

[shaz]

And when you came back, I was to meet you,
as my world was coming to an end.
but as the world turns, and the green turns to blue
a few moments together we will hopefully spend.

We might compare the begining, and evolutionary story
I could tell you of my losses, and how it all ends
and you might redeem me, and rewrite my history
as on you knight, the future depends

[Teratogen]

Your words?

[shaz]

Oh dear knight, how could you ask
if the words were mine, or a mask
I am not read in text or mind
but truly, yes, the words are mine

but in meaning i think my motive was creative
to add to your story that you had nerated
For in truth the letters placed in a fashion
That you might add your musical passion

So these words are freely given
to aid your composition
In all the words are a gift
and any of mine you are free to lift

Sharyn Proctor

[shaz]

I have listened to "Souled out", and boy is it strong, i really relate to the sympathy and
have possibly lived the song. It was just before george harrison died and the album brainwashed arrived.

[Teratogen]

Wow, you perused my link and actually listened to a song. Very nice. Thank you. I recorded most of that music, geez... probably 4 years ago now. Most of those songs I was writing while under the influence of a lot of Marilyn Manson and T. Rex. Funny combo, ain't it?

I haven't had the motivation to pick up an instrument in quite some time, but to pick up the pen (or rather, sit at the computer) has been an unchanging constant for me. I find it interesting how you, however, speak in rhyme. But I am a bit confused... why have you vilified George Harrison? I mean... I just don't see it. A Beatle? A seemingly compassionate, albeit often sarcastic and sharp-witted humanitarian as George Harrison? What gives?

[shaz]

You misunderstand me in this matter, george was passing thru i expect at this time, it was actually a bad time for me and for them.
Linda also passing, i remember at that time, bed ridden with music max playing constantly in my room,
watching paul and linda riding horses in a music clip and weeping uncontrollably.

It was when his album came out, that i realized that over that time i was being brain washed...
way too much to expli=ain in writing, but maybe a verse, when not so late at night here.

You must write and sing again, for sure, the bass was set too high for the song, i know you wanted the drama,
but it is also a song that could be sung with acoustic and the soul restored.

maybe thats where the rhyme came from before in this thread, about the leaving thing.

Think on it inspirational one and make a song for him maybe

Shaz
PS i too have spent 6 years 18/7 online, just trying to find my self whole again.
is working, but time for you to sing

[Harry S]

I have listened to "Souled out", and boy is it strong, i really relate to the sympathy and
have possibly lived the song. It was just before george harrison died and the album brainwashed arrived.

You damned my life and you damaged my soul
With the drugs that you gave me and the need for control
Why did you need to possess me,
when all i needed was for you to undress me
Take down those bastards that covered me in mud
elevate me to true one instead

Not just the shadow of all that you succre
and not as a hollow remedial fucker
You belie your innermost passions felt,
when all that you feed is under your belt

So damn you my darling, my master of misery
Who kept me chained to the bed for your visionary
I watched the music for 2 years and more
I know all the songs and about your score
For life was difficult in those times
and i lived between your music and your rhymes

Your accomplice was well informed and elated
to be my gailer and with me to be faited
but why did you leave me so long?
In the twisted world of your rock and roll song

you really have no conception
about who i am and the evil deception
So sing these renagde stolen years
But a little less bass, please be kind on my ears

Sharyn Proctor

I find something disconcerting about your posts. You post often but you apparently don't read back your writing or spell-check. The affectation for lower case names is a matter of taste, although the constant use of "i" is silly

However, have you not noticed in the one post above

"succre"
"faited"
"gailer"
"renagde"


You earlier ended a couplet with the non-word "nerated".

You concede elsewhere that your spelling may be imperfect but that's not an alibi for laziness. Does your computer really not give you wavy lines under your mistakes? Submitting a poem, or in your case lots of poems, and not checking spelling is quite disrespectful to the reader. It's different in comment, which doesn't purport to be a work of art. So, Cate, always an interesting speller, commented to you that you could "add little numbers beside the tittles" and I would never hold anything against Cate's "tittles" and her other misspellings, even though they are normally big boobs.

I can't now find your plea but, somewhere after you invited a thread to be taken down because people were enjoying themselves too much, you bemoaned the lack of response to your poems. Spelling could be the first improvement you make to your writing because it is relatively easy. You might find that other improvements, to your scanning or originality of thought for example, take more effort.

Best of luck.

Harry S(pelling)

[shaz]

Sorry harry but my poems are my comments and entered ad hock.
They are not contrived or invented to rhyme and belie the meaning that is me.
I once put in an essay that i was historically correct about.
and, got -2 out of 20, 1/2 a mark lost for every spelling error.
passion does not stop to please the reader or is it at all considering the response
i should not wish to create to please the expectations of anyone ans it, to me,
is the murderer of of the creative spirit.
I do try to check spelling after i am done, but some times,
i seem to be so off the mark, that no suggestions are correct.
the little i that is used to be me, is in hopes that my humility might be seen.
There is no other way i know to humble the me of myself in the statements that i make.
I shall try to be more considerate of the forums educational standards in future,
dyslexia is a battle that can never be won.

I can also tell when there is no energy in an assault

Shaz

[Harry S]

Sorry harry but my poems are my comments and entered ad hock.
They are not contrived or invented to rhyme and belie the meaning that is me.
I once put in an essay that i was historically correct about.
and, got -2 out of 20, 1/2 a mark lost for every spelling error.
passion does not stop to please the reader or is it at all considering the response
i should not wish to create to please the expectations of anyone ans it, to me,
is the murderer of of the creative spirit.
I do try to check spelling after i am done, but some times,
i seem to be so off the mark, that no suggestions are correct.
the little i that is used to be me, is in hopes that my humility might be seen.
There is no other way i know to humble the me of myself in the statements that i make.
I shall try to be more considerate of the forums educational standards in future,
dyslexia is a battle that can never be won.

I can also tell when there is no energy in an assault

Shaz

How strange, my spell-checker gave me the correct spelling suggestion for each of your 5 mistakes I chose as examples. You are very unlucky to have such a poor spell-checker.

It must be exhausting to work so hard on your humility.

[shaz]

So true.. exhausting to be sure

[Harry S]

what a disturbing line in your latest post above,

"I read the poems and listened to the songs"

look at your capitalised ego strutting all over the Forum. a true humidifier would have stayed with the lower-case. I now question your humileness. Is it genuine ?

[shaz]

maybe that is all I did today, and the rest was just the automatic responses of some
empty headed, channeling Who would know, see you did not question your Coronation !
I usually work with a fellow who has been trying to raise my confidence and self esteme.
So i shall go to him for my raising and come to you to downed,
and in-between, may never be found

[shaz]

I got to thinking about thread stealing, on the warrior forum where i hang out mostly,
it is not polite. I was here replying to "Teratogen", and would now like to resume that thread here..
As i was commenting in verse it was mistaken for the need of recognition of its own
and i think if anyone listened to your songs, the verse was fashioned to suit it, as you accepted openly.

I would like to discuss with you Teratogen the difference between being "guided" or "driven"