The Mercy of Your Will

[Teratogen]

This took me several days to write. Just finished it now.

The Mercy of Your Will

You led me to the peak of my hill of confidence
The weight of my affection on your back
I know how much you struggled just to make sense
Of the strength in belief that you lacked
And feeling you could no longer carry on alone
You knelt there in the shadows of resentment
Failure came to reap the seeds of longing sown
In the garden of hope’s only defendant

I fought so hard just to hold on to you
And your love so cautious yet vast
But you tied my heart to a stone and right into
Your eternal pit of judgment I was cast
Like tears that dissolve in the rain
Like the blood of emotions we spill
Like dreams and the truth they contain
I am at the mercy of your will

I built a monument to alert you
Of the love I had that reached beyond the sky
But my love was a crime against your virtue
And for that my love was sentenced to die
From the dust and the darkness and confusion
Below heaven and within these hollow gaps
Before I could attempt to brush off this delusion
I could feel the monument collapse

I thought I’d found someone who could
Keep loneliness from overtaking me
I thought I’d found someone who understood
The death of fear was a necessity
And like a feather that floats in the wind
Like a beast that moves in for the kill
Like the world on its axis it must spin
I am at the mercy of your will

If love is the answer you try to circumvent
To conceal the heart for which you fight
Then your apathy remains my only nourishment
To the question of my swollen appetite
And now that my pride has been defeated
And I could not break through to the heart that you hide
If in time you’ve convinced yourself my love was not needed
Then time surely is not on my side

I’ll find a way to forgive you somehow
If you can forgive the way my love was so honest
But you say that you are much happier now
Since you ditched me here on the curb of promise
Like the hands we held would imply
That your love was like a winter chill
Like the ease of how we vilify
I am at the mercy of your will

And like this pit where I come from
Where the inhabitants must suffer until
Your grace could lift them to become
Like I, at the mercy of your will