touched

[Geoffrey]

i once heard of someone who's touch was so sensual that a woman would involuntarily throw herself at him even after unwittingly consuming his fingerprint on a slice of gouda cheese. so be not alarmed should you see me chopping off the fingers of any man who offers to serve you crackers; it is merely a precautionary measure against a potentially embarrassing situation.

[Lion of Lions]

i once heard of someone who's touch was so sensual that a woman would involuntarily throw herself at him even after unwittingly consuming his fingerprint on a slice of gouda cheese. so be not alarmed should you see me chopping off the fingers of any man who offers to serve you crackers; it is merely a precautionary measure against a potentially embarrassing situation.

Gouda you to explain the situation so clearly, although I notice that you haven't told us the woman's name. It makes me wonder if you have made up the entire story. Edam you, Geoffrey, you are a liar.

[Womanfromaroom]

Gouda you to explain the situation so clearly, although I notice that you haven't told us the woman's name. It makes me wonder if you have made up the entire story. Edam you, Geoffrey, you are a liar.

Yes, Lion - I have got the suspicion, too, that all this might just be a lot of Saga cheese...

[imaginary friend]

Geoffrey,

Do you by chance know his email address?

[Geoffrey]

>Do you by chance know his email address?


His name is brie stilton, and he is the son of émile and gorgon zola
email: chedd@rparme.san

[Womanfromaroom]

Poor guy - all the cheesy spam he is bound to receive now that you've made his email address public...

[seadove]

Once I wrote a poem called "touched" :

Touched

If I touch you, will you not be touched?
You keep saying you love me so much.
When I talk to you will you not listen?
There is no point, to ruin our mission.
If I look at you will you not be seen?
Honey, lately, where have you been?

And the dark grey clouds are playing
With the raven priest who's praying
Can I rhyme my time with you?
Clouds are bursting now with dew

Bring the sun into my life
Come and kiss me, let us strive
And our needs will meet our deeds

[Geoffrey]

seadove wrote:
>Once I wrote a poem called "touched" . . .


that was a good poem, seadove. the only trouble is that in the uk the word 'touched' has an ambiguous definition. as well as meaning 'handled', it can also mean 'crazy'. i remember my mother, for example, during a thunderous row with my father (who was tired of continually using the missionary position), shouting: "you're touched in the head, man! everybody says you're bloody touched! even the police told me there's something not right with you, that you're bloodywell touched, you perverse fucking git!"

[seadove]

seadove wrote:
>Once I wrote a poem called "touched" . . .


that was a good poem, seadove. the only trouble is that in the uk the word 'touched' has an ambiguous definition. as well as meaning 'handled', it can also mean 'crazy'. i remember my mother, for example, during a thunderous row with my father (who was tired of continually using the missionary position), shouting: "you're touched in the head, man! everybody says you're bloody touched! even the police told me there's something not right with you, that you're bloodywell touched, you perverse fucking git!"

Lol.

[kwills]

Absolutely wonderful!

[Lion of Lions]

hmmm, one geezer wrote

There is no point, to ruin our mission.
If I look at you will you not be seen?
Honey, lately, where have you been?

another geezer, in an almost, but not quite, mildly amusing way told us of his father's boredom with the missionary position


and a third geezer combined the 2 above to write

There is no point to ruin our missionary
if I look at you is that a position more visionary?
Honey, blatantly, "that was obscene"
"oooh, ahh, where has it been?"

now we can all relax and move on,( pausing only to applaud the clever use of the word "visionary").

[Geoffrey]

Lion of Lions wrote:
>now we can all relax and move on,( pausing only to applaud the clever use of the word "visionary").


i have just noticed
that the left-hand edge
of the number 5
is an exclamation mark

[imaginary friend]

Everbody knows
that the left hand edge
of the number 5
is an upside-down,
backwards-facing
question mark.
Therefore, Geoffrey,
you are either
obfuscating,
or else you are
truly visionary,
or else you are
touched.

[Geoffrey]

imaginary friend wrote:
>. . . you are either obfuscating, or else you are truly visionary, or else you are touched.


well, as leonard wrote once: "if these thoughts entertain you even for a second, you are lost!" perhaps mine wasn't the greatest realisation in the world, but i like to think i felt a fraction of what columbus must have felt when he discovered america. have you ever stumbled upon something new?