To Live Forever

[ryanvancouver]

A sunrise is so much more powerful than a sunset.
The sunset shows you all kinds of colors as it goes down to the darkness of the moonlight;
The sunrise shows you all kinds of colors and leads you into the light of a new day.....
Im the guy who keeps pushing.........
Im the guy who's big enough to push the limits, but still small enough to die.
When I do, I want to go down in a blaze of glory....
For my fire to continue to burn even though I can't be seen. I still want to be felt.
When my explosion settles down and what you see is a small flame that wont go out....thats me.
Im the forest fire that cant be drenched.
Im the sun that will one day expand into a massive, red sphere to explode...
...and eventually span out into a long, wide spiral of beautiful, colorful gasses.

As long as I have my flame, I will live forever....

©2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman

[Cate]

Hi Ryan from Vancouver,

Before you go in a blaze of glory would you mind tucking some apostrophes into your I'ms.
As it stands I keep thinking Instant Message, which always stresses me out as I'm a terrible speller and hate to IM.
To be honest it's laughable that I'm the one saying this as it took me a VERY long time and many many reprimands to figure out where these little marks should and shouldn't go.

Question - are you sure you want to go in a blaze of glory?
It seems everyone wants to go that way nowadays, wouldn't it be nicer to have a more unique last moment that would still fit?
I like the concept of the difference between colours at sunset and sunrise. I'm not sure if you were going for this with the flames but I also do like the notion of the colours being somewhat tactile.

All the best,

Cate

[Geoffrey]

ryanvancouver's post concluded with:
>©2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman


i am not very bright, so please help me. would i be correct in assuming that the verse was worked on over a three-year period, and that the author is seriously afraid of his intellectual property being stolen?

[Sideways]

ryanvancouver's post concluded with:
>©2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman


i am not very bright, so please help me. would i be correct in assuming that the verse was worked on over a three-year period, and that the author is seriously afraid of his intellectual property being stolen?

Hello Geoffrey, it is interesting to me that you chooose one of Ryan's easier works. I wonder if you are ready to tackle his deeper writing like the one that ends

"Get over here"?
Get over yourself
Im putting you up on the shelf!

©2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman

This has 5 years of Legal Protection so don't you be stealing it Geoffrey even if you are the jealous type.

love

Sue

[Geoffrey]

Sideways Sue wrote:
>Hello Geoffrey, it is interesting to me that you chooose one of Ryan's easier works. I wonder if you are ready to tackle his deeper writing like the one that ends
>
>>"Get over here"?
>>Get over yourself
>>Im putting you up on the shelf!
>>
>>©2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman
>
>This has 5 years of Legal Protection so don't you be stealing it Geoffrey even if you are the jealous type.

All I do is read the signs, Sue. Who knows what makes a person believe that something bad is good - or vice versa? Truth is a bottle of smelling salts shoved under the nose. Deceit is a pool of piss that in moonlight looks like a sea of silver. Be careful not to let criticism hold a soft pillow over the face of creativity. Make sure the arrow on the little wheel points to the minus sign, for otherwise that lighter could burn out someone's eye. Use tact, and remember that silence can often shout louder than a full-throated bark. A flickering neon light, for example, tells us of a coming darkness - and a swinging chandelier speaks of an earthquake in the past. Look for the signs. Not every poem held up to the sun has a watermark and metal strip - some are toilet paper as boring as an article in Punch - but you can't say that. Just as an organist needs to take off his heavy shoes in ordet to better feel the foot-pedals, so a critic needs to be careful with those supporting walls when enlarging a writer's awareness. For bend out the pocket-clip on the lid of a pen and you'll never be able to press it all the way back again.

[ryanvancouver]

Hi Ryan from Vancouver,

Before you go in a blaze of glory would you mind tucking some apostrophes into your I'ms.
As it stands I keep thinking Instant Message, which always stresses me out as I'm a terrible speller and hate to IM.
To be honest it's laughable that I'm the one saying this as it took me a VERY long time and many many reprimands to figure out where these little marks should and shouldn't go.

Question - are you sure you want to go in a blaze of glory?
It seems everyone wants to go that way nowadays, wouldn't it be nicer to have a more unique last moment that would still fit?
I like the concept of the difference between colours at sunset and sunrise. I'm not sure if you were going for this with the flames but I also do like the notion of the colours being somewhat tactile.

All the best,

Cate

I'm well aware of where apostrophes should and shouldn't go. I felt like not placing them into my own work.

Perhaps my blaze of glory and explosion is different than what another unique perception of what a blaze of glory and explosion may be.

I was fighting a life threatening illness when I wrote it and needed something beautiful to visualize.

Thank you for taking the time to read

[ryanvancouver]

ryanvancouver's post concluded with:
>©2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman


i am not very bright, so please help me. would i be correct in assuming that the verse was worked on over a three-year period, and that the author is seriously afraid of his intellectual property being stolen?

Hello Geoffrey, it is interesting to me that you chooose one of Ryan's easier works. I wonder if you are ready to tackle his deeper writing like the one that ends

"Get over here"?
Get over yourself
Im putting you up on the shelf!

©2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 Ryan Alexander Jarman

This has 5 years of Legal Protection so don't you be stealing it Geoffrey even if you are the jealous type.

love

Sue

Well, there is the rest of the song that could have been critiqued, though it was ignored. I was hoping for something a bit more interesting like a full critique, than just a critique of three line's I sang at the end of the song when recording. Such is life.

It did take me 5 years to write that one, I hadn't planned on turning it into song but I eventually did and it's now recorded onto an album which is why I place copyright symbols on everything I write. No, it isn't one of my better works. Not everyone is going to like it. But it is mine to express.

It would be arrogant of me to think all of my work is good.

It would be self deprecating to thrash myself about over a piece of work I feel is good even though others may not.

It would be downright stupid of me to not claim and protect my registered works. (They are listed with SOCAN).

[anunitu]

I checked out your Myspace, nice video in the Blog section..

Anunitu
Thanks for posting your work here. BTW, your voice does remind one of Lou Reed.

[Manna]

Dear Geoffrey,
I love you.

[Sideways]

Hello Ryan from Vancouver,

you wrote

"I'm well aware of where apostrophes should and shouldn't go. I felt like not placing them into my own work."

then you wrote this

"Well, there is the rest of the song that could have been critiqued, though it was ignored. I was hoping for something a bit more interesting like a full critique, than just a critique of three line's I sang at the end of the song when recording."

it's not so bad that you don't understand apostrophes or are you just a naughty tease!

I remember once when I was on the Judging Panel for a Ladies Ironing Team (Cotton Freestyle under 25's) and we were down to the last 2 contestants. One lady treated us to a single 30 minute performance, well-considered smooth presentation. The other Lady bombarded us with 6 different pieces. The Judges thought it was sheer rudery and paid no attention to her.

The reason why you get little critique, Ryan from Vancouver, is that you have flooded the forum. Who can pay attention to a person who can't even wait for a response to one piece at a time.

Anyway, Good Luck to you, Ryan from Vancouver

Love

'Sue

[ryanvancouver]

Hello Ryan from Vancouver,

you wrote

"I'm well aware of where apostrophes should and shouldn't go. I felt like not placing them into my own work."

then you wrote this

"Well, there is the rest of the song that could have been critiqued, though it was ignored. I was hoping for something a bit more interesting like a full critique, than just a critique of three line's I sang at the end of the song when recording."

it's not so bad that you don't understand apostrophes or are you just a naughty tease!

I remember once when I was on the Judging Panel for a Ladies Ironing Team (Cotton Freestyle under 25's) and we were down to the last 2 contestants. One lady treated us to a single 30 minute performance, well-considered smooth presentation. The other Lady bombarded us with 6 different pieces. The Judges thought it was sheer rudery and paid no attention to her.

The reason why you get little critique, Ryan from Vancouver, is that you have flooded the forum. Who can pay attention to a person who can't even wait for a response to one piece at a time.

Anyway, Good Luck to you, Ryan from Vancouver

Love

'Sue

I've been known to be a bit of a pest when it comes to punctuation It bothers me as much as some other people when they aren't placed correctly and so yes, perhaps I was being a naughty tease....or maybe i just didnt feel like using proper punctuationz lol

I brought up critique as I was curious to know why only three lines were addressed, not the rest of the song. It was a small point I was attempting to make,

I didn't mean to 'bombard' the forums. I thought it was a place to share my works, so I did so. It doesn't bother me if someone doesn't like them and I wasn't expecting any critiques, I was hoping maybe it could just reach one persons heart, thats all It was after that I did think "Maybe I should have just created one thread and titled it as my works thread"

Cest la vie!

[Geoffrey]

Manna wrote:
>Dear Geoffrey,
>I love you.


If that is you in that photo, your eyes are beautiful. They were not made for seeing - they were made for being looked at. x

[Geoffrey]

Sideways Sue wrote to Ryan from Vancouver:
>it's not so bad that you don't understand apostrophes or are you just a naughty tease!


Where I live the language needs no apostrophes, but in English that little helper so yearns to be useful, and is far from superfluous. It may seem complicated to grasp at first, but once one understands where it should be employed it helps the reader avoid misunderstandings.

Having said this, please do not imagine I have a superior attitude, as I am quite capable of making mistakes - and often do.

[Cate]

Hi Ryan how bout we start again

Here’s my first post.

I like the concept of the difference between colours at sunset and sunrise…
How interesting that you left out apostrophes …

Okay now some intros

I’m Cate – I like to chase after my tail and anything shiny or round – my name occasionally gets slipped into poems because it rhymes with so much.

Next was Geoffrey, who I don’t know so very well yet, but his writing is delicious. If you have a chance you should check out some of his postings in the politics section under wild flowers (don’t ask him to share he won’t - I suspect he is also an only child or wanted to be).

Then was Sue, who as you can see is a very passionate competitive ironer, she pays great attention to detail. If you want to get on her good side simply refer her to a new client – you should be warned though that her prices are quite high in accordance to high world ranking.

Then was you – you’ll have to do that intro, as I don’t know at all.

The guy with the cool Aviator is Anuntu, (I think he may have taken his name from the moon goddess but I might be wrong on that). He seems easy going, but I’m afraid I don’t know much about him other than the fact he has a cat.

Manna's the one with the pretty aviator. She is an excellent truffle maker, a great critic and an even better poet.

Okay so that’s everyone from this thread – now you kinda know some people. Why don't cha grab yourself a beer or a tea if you like better.

edited to add the word - should
edited second time as I am no longer jealous of Manna's love for Geoffrey - I just read his last post and I think I love him too.

[anunitu]

The Handle "Anunitu" is a Tribute to a Babylonian moon Goddess, in reflection of my "Pagan" beliefs. This Goddess, is also a Goddess of War, as well as Birth. She also represents the astral star sign of Pisces, my birth sign.

Anunitu