Looking for a sign

[Violet]

INTRODUCTION TO THIS THREAD
August 28, 2008


Dear reader,

As this thread has evolved into something of an unfolding drama/mystery/horror like saga, primarily concerned with that eternal battle of Good vs. Evil, I thought I should at least advise any newcomers to this thread that such is in store, given that things begin here with this lousy little one-line (re-writ) poem, and so one might not even think to pursue this thread much further. However, I can assure you that things start to snow ball rather quickly, so hang in there, you will be rewarded for plodding through this beginning. Having said this, however, this beginning is interesting to read as well, as it illustrates quite earnestly the “me” that existed at this Forum (so called) before I became corrupted by the likes of, well, let’s just say one “Poppy” colored entity around here. Once he installed himself (or at least emitted some rather offensive gas into the room), and his lousy minions joined him in a surprisingly organized offensive, well, it really didn’t take long before this author became dissociated (either fictionally speaking, or not, I’ll let you decide), with the character of the Evil demon-attachment “Lorca*” emerging, along with the new, innocent, or “innocence under duress” version of ‘Violet.’

Yes, dear reader, all this is in store for those of you who have the stomach (and the time) to enter deeply this rife material. Oh, and Mr. Cohen, if perchance you ever lower yourself to poking your nose into these inordinately illicit seeming channels (presumably out of complete boredom with your renewed stardom) (actually, if you do make it through these pages, you’ll discover that you’re featured as Evil’s resilient antidote, as well as Violet’s holy grail, as it were), in any event, I would ask that you please note how Violet feels a bit lost at the moment, and so can be found most nights (sometimes in strange motel rooms she has no recollection of checking into) sitting upon her mattress, looking to God, the Heavens, and, well, to you (and perhaps your angels)… as she’s been looking, quite earnestly in fact, and for a long time now… for a sign…


The Author of this Thread, a.k.a., Violet

* it's interesting how I [unconsciously] seized upon the name, "Lorca." I never heard it used as a first name, not realizing it was the name Leonard chose to name his daughter.. nor was I aware yet of Lorca's influence on Leonard.. so.. I guess I can chalk it up to some "collective unconscious" thing at this forum..


Looking for a sign (re-write)


We no longer remember the poem, but what's his name seems to think it had something to do with body function





NOTE: originally posted here was a simple poem written (under duress, as I recall) in gratitude to those at the Forum who had supported me with their kind words.. (I can't say it was my best effort).. in any event, here's a stanza of it..


Looking for a sign [excerpt]

... I see now what the Buddhists speak of
when they speak of letting go.
it’s when we seize upon things, upon
outcomes, that suffering can only
increase...


08 17 08


...inspiring a certain Red Demon to make the following remarks...




edits: Violet has already begun her obsessive editing habits in trying to get this first post "just right".. not much to be done about it, save finding the right medication...
.. much much later edit.. just passing through.. changing the font size, and deciding to include just one stanza of this poem (given my considerable dislike of it)..

[Red Poppy]

Surely, Violet, when the Buddhists speak of "letting go" they refer to a bowel movement?
Or am I greatly mistaken?

[Violet]

Ha!

You know it has been difficult at these altitudes lately. I don't mean to be "exalted" if that's what you think! Some day I hope I can better explain myself. Or maybe I'll try now. I do have a sense of humor. I do have other aspects to my personality other than what I've been sharing here. I was/am an artist, at one time quite subversive and irreverent, and in my writing I have been exceedingly funny at times... I also have had a lot of difficulties in my life that I will spare us all the details about since I suppose most of us have those. The reason I bring up the difficulties is that poetry for me became an escape from all that; a place of total solace where I could develop a truthful inner voice. It seems to me sometimes like the closest thing to conversing with one's soul. In this public forum it becomes about taking risks. These poems may not always pan out. Perhaps with this one I've failed miserably, I honestly don't know. Maybe in another context it would have been understood in terms of what I'd intended. In any event, I was listening to my muse and maybe my muse was having an off day. I know that I myself was, and this was my attempt at coming to terms with that.

I guess, my question to this forum is whether you all think I should continue here. It hasn't been easy, and it's been getting into strange territory, but I can't think I've been boring at least. Anyway, I would love an honest appraisal, although some kindness mixed in wouldn't hurt. I realized today, after reading Marisha's poem about the forum member who is gone and who everybody hated, well I realized in a moment of horror that I really could be meeting the same fate here! I didn't even realize until today that a lot of you converse privately, and so it took me aback. I must be giving you some pretty good material I think. Anyway, I wish I was tougher and it ran off of me easier than it does. As for this poem, I wrote it exhausted, but in total honesty and gratefulness to those who have offered me some support here. If it gave you a good laugh, then I guess I should be satisfied with that as well! Violet

[imaginary friend]

It takes guts to present your work for perusal here, where there are talented, well informed and potentially intimidating viewers. But please don't be discouraged Violet, most people here share your love for Leonard, and for poetry and music.

There's lots of wicked humour too; in case you are unaware, the late William was the invention of another (very clever) poster's imagination. He was great fun though, and what does it matter whether he was real or not (except to Marisha)?

[Violet]

Hi. I didn't know the hated person was fictional, and I do enjoy that kind of thing.

[much later edit: once again, I'm passing through deciding what best to leave of myself]

[Cate]

Hi Violet - I want to say something because I can see your upset, I'm just not sure what to say.

Okay William - The character William was a curmudgeon. I don't know if you know anybody like this, often they have a quirky sense of humor, but really there’s something very lovable there. I think most of us actually liked William quite a bit - s/he definitely grew on you.

Blogging – I don’t really know a lot about blogging either, but I sometimes read David Hingsburgers' (he’s my hero) and it’s mostly him, talking about his day or week. I don’t think the files would count as a blog, or maybe… sometimes we talk about personal things. I know dear William epically loved it when his favourite person posted pictures.

Play – I don’t know if you’ve had much of a chance to look through some of the other threads. Some threads are poems and discussions of the poems, some threads are poems and discussions of completely random subjects, some threads are just play. Some people are little more serious, some more playful and sometimes the play is rough and tumble (I think some is my word of the day). I wouldn’t interpret someone giving you a little poke as being aggressive or unfriendly. Remember when you were a little girl and that kid came up and gave you a good shove? He wasn’t being mean. He probably wanted you to laugh and chase him.

Poems - You have two posted poems that I really enjoyed. Delivering me unto you and These hands, so to be Known. I'm not saying that the others weren't good, it's just these two were both moving to me. I should have commented before, but to be honest I'm I bit shy with people that are new to me and I tend to wait a bit before writing to them.

Cate

[Red Poppy]

Violet
Sticking with the theme of my last post regarding letting go.
It could of course be that you're taking the piss!
Something not unheard of here.
RP

PS Cate, I actually met William in Dublin and he seemed like a very shy and self-effacing man.
But I could be lying.
Then again I might not!

[Violet]

Cate, thanks for your post, although my ability to respond in the manner your post deserves seems to be eclipsed by this other thing going on.

As to this other thing going on, imposing vicious humor maybe has its place here, but it doesn't yield much in the way of conversation, or at least, not given your limited mastery of it! You'll no doubt prove that once again no matter what I say, which is sort of my point. You might start with Oscar Wilde, although, he didn't need viciousness...

As to anyone else reading this, it's been an interesting experience.

[Red Poppy]

Come on Violet!

Thin skin is one thing - vellum another. Being an artist, writer & film maker you must have encountered tougher than this
Where is the "viciousness" of which you speak?
Would you perhaps number Michael One among your friends? Wink wink nudge nudge.
If not, you should.

Being 's Advocate is always a tough job.
As William would say - God Bless!

[Violet]

You're right, I was about to change that from "viciousness" to "innocuousness"!

Look, emails (for example) are always deceptive in terms of the tone of them, and I'm new here, so I can't see what's behind all the jokes!

[Violet]

... which is to say, okay, okay I get it already! it's actually hugely funny but it's hard to see that when your heart has leapt into your throat! I especially like the vellum comment... (which might even be worthy of Mr. Wilde)...

v.

[mickey_one]

Looking for a sign (re-write)

We no longer remember the poem, but what's his name seems to think it had something to do with body function

welcome to the forum, Violet.

I like your work despite its unusual one line form.

I have rewritten it into a much worse poem for you to enjoy.

We no longer remember the poem
but what's his name?
seems to think
it had something
to do with
bodily function

Let me guide you about the forum. Everyone here is completely lovely,
Cate and Manna and Alan Alda are good poets
the others are good people
I'm a great critic
Good night

Lord Mickey of One

[mickey_one]

oy! I just realised that my last post was capable of misinterpretation. I wish to clarify that just because Cate, Manna, and Laurie are good poets, does not exclude them from being good people as well. It just so happens that they are not. They are bad, bad people. Not "bad" as in the sense that William was a bad troll "unimaginative, illiterate, and dull", but "bad" in the classic sense of evil, wicked, mean, rude, untidy, dictatorial, despotic, impatient, and naughty. Violet, do NOT talk to any of these 3 evil women. Trust me, I know things.

[Manna]

I cannot speak for Cate or Laurie, but I claim rude, untidy, wicked and naughty.

Rude as in, oh nevermind. and shut up while you're at it, eh?
Untidy as in, is it time to do the dishes? Hmm. I think I have some poetry to write...
Wicked as in, "She is totally wicked!"
And naughty, as in, well, M_1 knows things.
muhahaha

[Violet]

What's lovely here, heart warming, and all that, is that I (not as versed in
the classics
as I could wish)
(coming from poor farmer types who ate
only with spoons) am now
being served up this, well, crash course in
the more untidy designations certainly for female
architypes, and architecture in general. (sorry about the end,
I'm tired, it needs fixing, but I do feel "edified," if you
know what I mean...)

V.P.