Poem with love

[Sideways]

when I was just a little girl
all I wanted was an ironing board
now I have one
I am bored


Sue

[Manna]

once I was a little boy
I wished for a Barlow knife
now I am great big boy
and all I want is wife

once I was a little girl
playing in the sand
now I am a woman
and all I want is a man

[~greg]

Once there was a gay man
Who fell in love with a lesbian,
But when they tried to marry
They were told: "you're too crooked and scary,
Go find Sue and get yourselves ironed."

[William]

Once there were people
so far up their own egos
that they ended up talking
happily to themselves.
Which was wonderful,
apart from the echo.

[Sideways]

Once there was a gay man
Who fell in love with a lesbian,
But when they tried to marry
They were told: "you're too crooked and scary,
Go find Sue and get yourselves ironed."

Greg, do you have a contact number for this man who is needing his ironing to be done, as I am ready to do his ironing for him if he was to contact me asking me to do his ironing which would be a pleasure if I knew he was serious about the project of the two of us working together on his ironing which would be really good fun.

[~greg]

I think you do work together well.

Once there were people
so far up their own egos
that they ended up talking
happily to themselves.
Which was wonderful,
apart from the echo.

Hey, Sideways, - you think he means him and you?
And everybody else is the echo?

I can appreciate that.

It certainly takes a lot of cold water to separate mating dogs.


(ps:
"sue-nami"
hahahaha : )

[Sideways]

I think you do work together well.

Once there were people
so far up their own egos
that they ended up talking
happily to themselves.
Which was wonderful,
apart from the echo.

Hey, Sideways, - you think he means him and you?
And everybody else is the echo?

I can appreciate that.

It certainly takes a lot of cold water to separate mating dogs.


(ps:
"sue-nami"
hahahaha : )

Greg, you seem like a man who knows his ironing so sort this one out for me, please! I get a pm claiming that the troll. William, is actually Michael playing games not Geoffrey after all! My head is spinning. I presumed at first this was Geoffrey playing clever but now I am not so sure.
love

Sue

[~greg]

Greg, you seem like a man who knows his ironing

I admit it. I do know which end of an iron to plug in.

As a matter of fact I have singed my fair share of shirts, in my day,
usually in the early evening. And I have created creases where
no one had ever imagined creases could be created before I did it.

My memory of the ferric fun goes back to nonny, and her flatiron,
Which she heated on a wood-burning stove.
And how she threatened me with it if I didn't stop trying to get under her skirt.

And now, almost every night, I fall asleep with a tear in each eye
as I recall the glory that was once the great north-east ironing industry.
And my small contribution to it.

I speak with authority, Sue.
The Ironing profession is stiff with honor and starch.
Which I know must be a heavy burden for you to bear.
Which is why many ironers also "pump-iron" on their days off,
to stay in shape. Did you know that?

Ironing is honorable, Sue, so therefore my advice to you
is to leave all that less honorable hanky-panky - detecting
and lawyering - to those who just aren't up to the mettle of the hot-iron.

~greg

[Cate]

when I was just a little girl
all I wanted was an ironing board
now I have one
I am bored


Sue

Dearest Sue, I have to tell you this poem was very sad for me- especially coming from someone who loves ironing as much as you do.

What about dressing up your board - I've heard there are speciality stores that sell covers of all sorts or perhaps you could try moving
your board around trying some different rooms - I actually did some ironing in the living room last night - very nice time.
I'm wonder Sue and I don't mean to shock or offend you - but have you ever considered steaming?
I've heard it can be quite satisfying and you wouldn't even need a board.

All the best

Cate

p.s. I hope things work out with your new potential client - perhaps he'll let you use his board.

[Sue]

(ps:
"sue-nami"
hahahaha : )

Knowing that you are a student of humour and of the difficulty it sometimes has in crossing
a cultural divide I thought you might appreciate a joke native to these islands:
Shortly after the disaster of 2004 some well-meaning people went into a pub, approaching
the drinkers saying "we are collecting for the Tsunami" and asking them to donate.
They were told in no uncertain terms to clear off as everyone in the pub was a Sunderland supporter!

.......

In order to see the humour in this you need to be aware of certain things. In the north east
of England there are two rival soccer teams based in the nearby towns of Sunderland
and Newcastle upon Tyne. Some natives of Newcastle speak in a highly accented manner
and pronounce the word town "toon", this has led to Newcastle supporters acquiring the sobriquet
"The Toon Army". The joke can be understood when one realises that the drinkers thought
the collection was in aid of their rival team and its fans.

[Byron]

Once there was a gay man
Who fell in love with a lesbian,
But when they tried to marry
They were told: "you're too crooked and scary,
Go find Sue and get yourselves ironed."

There was a queer from Rangoon
Took a lesbian back to his room
They sat up all night
Having a fight
As to who should do what
and to whom....


This is a very olde pome which does nothing but highlight how olde I am. I'm sure that it has appeared in this foroom on many an occasion in the past, and I sincerely hope that it won't appear in this foroom at any time in the future. I could have deleted it instead of writing this 'edit' featurette, but I thought 'sod it,' so I did!!