Ponder with mixed feelings!

[eagle]

Sitting, wondering what to say, feel, write
I ponder with mixed feelings
Feelings of hate
Emotions of past experiences
Good, bad and, yes, the ugly
Words of wisdom or words from me
Words of what you want to hear
Or words of what is important to me
As my life is starting to find meaning
I ask you this -
20 years of heroin
23 of smoking grass
27 of Benson & Hedges
(Never really liked that name)
Throw copious amounts of alcohol
And I have seen many different images
Different times
Amazing hallucinations
Insufficient love
And a whole lot of bullshit
At 41, gay, father and now clean
Detox, cook, and disability teacher
Is this all part of it?
As life can sometimes have no value
After all, we all die
Is this meaning?
I have learnt new values
Let's hope you don't leave it as long as me
Or are you thinking that this is what needs to happen?
Now, whose poem is this?

As I ponder with mixed feelings


Love to you all

eagle

[lizzytysh]

Hi Eagle ~

Your poem represents a lot of complexities that have been part of your life. Thanks for sharing such an outline with us.

Love to you, too.


~ Lizzy