Chairs

[che]

I can feel the smile begin under my hand
as you nod your agreement.
You know this evening should be enjoyable.
I pull my hand away from your mouth
and run it gently over the back of your neck
as I move towards the chair.

“Don’t move a muscle until I tell you to.”

[damellon]

Che
Did you write this? on your own. I ask because up til now you have struggled a little with the English language. I'm not sure if it says exactly what you intend it to. But assuming it does, I like the way you have created an atmosphere of collusion. For me it's spoiled by the last line.

[che]

I am sorry you didn't like the last lines but I have wriote it on my own.
My English teacher is quite good and my months in London are helping me a great amount.
But it did take me much time to get it so that I am happy with it.
But thank you for writing

[damellon]

Che
I take it these are lovers but the last line sounds like it came from a gangster movie. It's tone seems too different from what went ahead.

[Cate]

I like this Che It’s lovely.
I agree that the poem doesn’t need the last line and might even be better without it, but I also liked the sense of playfulness that came with it. I’m looking forward to reading more of your work.

Cate

[Cate]

might even be better without it,

Upon refection and re-reading I find I disagree with myself and wish I had not added the above line to my previous posting. I like the poem as it is.

[mickey_one]

I can feel the smile begin under my hand
as you nod your agreement.
You know this evening should be enjoyable.
I pull my hand away from your mouth
and run it gently over the back of your neck
as I move towards the chair.

“Don’t move a muscle until I tell you to.”

we don't get many sensuous poems posted here, so this is very welcome. I can imagine it all except the moving towards the chair. My vision is of you approaching your lover from behind, but he/she is standing up and, of course, so are you, let the fun begin

michael

DEATH TO ALL CHAIRS (with their 4 legs and their wooden looks, some say "good old chairs" but others tell the truth. Chairs aren't faithful, they let anyone sit on them, they don't believe in mahogany, let's all agree for one whole day not to sit on a chair, talk to a chair, or play with a chair, starting NOW)