My Chocolate Eclair

[Joney]

I admit my surprise
when he kissed me there
I was flattered by his lies
his fingers through my hair
I fell for his sad eyes
and curly locks so fair;
Imagining his thighs
I felt devil may care
Unzipping of the flies
the urgency to bare
No longer in disguise
happy in our lair
We saw the sunrise
my chocolate eclair
no sound but our sighs
softly on the air

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Joney I have taken a few lines out... no punctuation marks... allowed the couplets to stand alone, thus:

I admit my surprise
when he kissed me there

I was flattered by his lies
his fingers through my hair

I fell for his sad eyes
and curly locks so fair

Imagining his thighs
I felt devil may care

Unzipping of the flies
the urgency to bare

No longer in disguise
happy in our lair

No sound but our sighs
softly on the air

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Let's see what happens....... !!!!!!!!!!

[lizzytysh]

Hi Guys ~

It occurred to me, not sure why it took so loooong, just how many options there are here.

The maestros can conduct away just because they love to wave a wand; just to show their expertise in conducting; or to actually lead a really fine symphony. The orchestra member they're focusing on can interact; make visible changes in their song; make invisible changes in their song; thank the maestros; or not thank the maestros; thank the audience member who comments on simply enjoying their song [even if they were a couple notes off or not]; not thank the audience member who comments on simply enjoying their song; thank the audience member who says they can relate to their song; or not thank the audience member who says they can relate to their song; thank the audience member who complains that they sure wish they'd played another song; or not thank the audience member who complains that they sure wish they'd played another song. Hopefully, people will continue to share their songs.

Changes offered or made [if some continue to do that] can be passed over, ignored, thanked on, not thanked on, implemented here, or not implemented here, but implemented at home. Who knows? No requirements, rules, guidelines, in any direction. All this occurred to me as I was waking up this morning all on my very own . Well, on the waking up part, I didn't do that all on my very own. That was the result of a phone call. Hopefully, people will continue to share their songs.

I love your lascivious poem, Joney . Love, love, love, love, love... and I can do that as much as I want . Hopefully, people will continue to share their songs.


~ Lizzy

[Joney]

Jimmy, thanks for the edit, it looks a lot more attractive than my lumpy post. But you've taken out my best line, the one that makes me laugh the most about my chocolate eclair. It's mysterious, suggestive and ridiculous all at once.

Lizzy, I'm glad you like my crazy poem. Thank you for all the loves.

Hey, this is fun, now I can see why people post their poetry.

[lizzytysh]

Well, I declare... My Chocolate Eclair.

[Don't ask me... just felt like it .]


~ Lizzy

[Jimmy O'Connell]

See... I have restored it!!!

My Chocolate Eclair

I admit my surprise
when he kissed me there

I was flattered by his lies
his fingers through my hair

I fell for his sad eyes
and curly locks so fair

Imagining his thighs
I felt devil may care

Unzipping of the flies
the urgency to bare

No longer in disguise
happy in our lair

No sound but our sighs
softly on the air

[HonestlyBlunt]

This poem is masterly, pure dynamite I think its amazing. The most prominent line is the chocolate eclair line, beautful meataphor, BE-A-UTIFUL!

[Joney]

Why thank you Honestly Blunt. I love your blunt honesty, especially if it is praising my poem.

Jimmy, don't think I didn't notice that you've still left out my favourite line. What have you got against chocolate eclairs? Are you an eclairophobe?

[Jimmy O'Connell]

Joney,
It's one of my favourite lines as well.... but not where it's placed.... it makes the title...

I'm not even gonna go there... else I'll end up on the ould poteen again!!!!
And no amount of chocolar eclairs could transform itself into the hair o' the dog needed to get over that kind of hangover!!!!

I think I already hav esaid too too much


Jimmy

[che]

This poem make me smile and thank you for posting this.
It make me smile a lot.