Like Ravens

[Sebby]

Like Ravens

Our bodies tumbled,
Decreed our innocence
In falling. Black music
Swept the air like ravens,
Bass thumps haunting
The inescapable reverie
Of our blistering thoughts.
We were warriors, chains
Uniting us in bondage,
Bliss releasing our tongues
As we spilled the madness
Of our lingering poetics,
Choppy movements
Under incandescent lights
Syncopated to the rhythm
Of the haunting anthems
Piercing our languid dance.
We were immaculate,
Virgin energies pulsing
In veins thick with burden,
Skin on skin, we radiated,
Lips thick with words,
Burgeoning minds alive
With the detritus of days.
Heads shaven, we glowed,
Sliced the air like ravens
With our ceremonial dance.
And hot, we tumbled,
Decreed our relevance
With the madness
On our outstretched tongues.

[Manna]

the blackest crow that ever flew
would surely turn to white

Lots of interesting lines here. Are you looking for workshopping, critiques, just wanna show? I like "black music swept the air like ravens." and I like how that plays again later when it's the dancers who have become the birds. I'm still working out what you're writing about here. Could be mosh pit, could be high school dance, beatnikking, racial supremacy rituals...

[Sebby]

Thanks Manna,

I only know of one race...the human race, so it's not about racial supremacy dancing rituals. I wouldn't even dance a species supremacy ritual!

Thanks for the comments. I think at the time I was recollecting my past in the 80s punk clubs of Toronto...just losing yourself on the dancefloor...

[Manna]

OK.
My first thought was that it was moshing, but there's enough other stuff there to be other things. There are different kinds of hints all through it that nudge it toward ambiguity. It's interesting. I haven't lost myself that way for a long time. Hmm.