Worst Song Lyrics Poll

[Teratogen]

It's hard to come up with something that seems weird or wrong in lyrics. When you listen to too much Frank Zappa for too long everything seems normal!

[david birkett]

If only for the delightful confusion of tenses and the rather audacious Venus rhyme. Love the mock-classical riff that runs through the song though...da da da daaa, da da da-da daaa

We're heading for Venus
And still we stand tall
Cause maybe they've seen us
And welcome us all

[Teratogen]

It's the Final Countdown!

[julia]

Editing a post that seemed witty last night... not so much anymore.... Is there a way to delete, I wonder?

[david birkett]

I have an unashamed soft spot for The Seekers (not the New variety Teaching the World to Prostitute itself before a fizzy multinational) as perpetrators of such classics as Morningtown Ride and The Carnival is Over. They often flirted with saccharine sentimentality, but in the case of one odious outpouring they lost all restraint and plunged in head first. Admittedily, the ditty was aimed at the Younger Listener, but even so. To make matters worse, they used the tune of Ode to Joy.

It goes like this:

Take me to the Emerald City,
Down yellow brick roads fast I run.
Scarecrow friends will dance beside me,
Tin toy brothers bright as sun.

Chorus:
Take me to the Emerald City,
Wizards will give us lemonade.
It's a land of pleasures pretty,
Ruby roses never fade.

Children gather fragile flowers,
Stars will sing a lullaby,
You're an angel, fly forever,
Living life behind the sky.

Chorus


Rain it falls like tinsel teardrops,
Rivers flow through jungles tall,
Witches watch through magic mirrors,
Frost and fog covers crystal balls.

[Teratogen]

Ha, the Seekers. Yeah, well, do you know how hard it is to try listening to "Georgy Girl" without giggling at the ridiculous musical refrain? I don't even know what instrument that is. Some kind of whistle I guess. I put on a fake smile on my head and tilt my head from side to side. It's bouncy. Very bouncy. A little way too bouncy. Oh, by the way, for those that don't know the song it's about a girl who is changing her fashion. Quite ridiculous.

[Stranger]

I stepped into an avalanche
It covered up my doo wah diddy diddy dum

[Stranger]

OK, that one looked funnier last night when I wrote it after a few beers. But this one is real bad (from Boney M "Belfast"), unless I miss the deeper sense hidden underneath it:

When the people believin'
When the people believin'
When the people believin'
All the children cause the children
Are leavin'

It's the world that's deceivin'
It's the world that's deceivin'
It's the world that's deceivin'
All the people
Cause the people believin'
Chorus
When the children believin'
When the children believin'
When the children believin'
All the people
Cause the people are leavin'
When the people are leavin' (you)
When the people are leavin'
When the people are leavin'
All the children
Cause the children believin'

[Joney]

I like this thread, very funny.

Who remembers Honey I miss you from the 70's I think (lyrics below). It has to have some of the stupidist lyrics ever written. I kinda like doo wah diddy diddy dum, it's not pretending to be anything and it is certainly catchy.

See the tree how big it's grown but friend it hasn't been too long it wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad the first day that she planted it was just a twig
Then the first snow came and she ran out to brush the snow away so it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited slipped and almost hurt herself and I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
I surprised her with a puppy kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came home from working late cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin' over some sad and silly late late show
And honey I miss you and I'm being good and I'd love to be with you if only I could
She wrecked the car and she was sad and so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly and found her crying needlessly in the middle of the day
And it was in the early spring when flowers bloom and robins sing she went away
And honey I miss you and I'm being good and I'd love to be with you if only I could
Yes one day while I wasn't home while she was there and all alone the angels came
Now all I have are memories of honey and I wake up nights and I call her name
And now my life's an empty stage where honey lived and honey played and love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead and cries down in the flower bed that honey loved
And honey I miss you and I'm being good and I'd love to be with you if only I could

[julia]

Okay... so kinda ouch... I mean Honey is another of those cheesy classics that I can't help but adore... kinda like Seasons in the Sun. OH, c'mon people you know you dug it in the day!!! But, Feelings... never could hang with that one. Wo wo wo feeeeeelings... WOE is right!

Peace,
Julia

[lizzytysh]

Hi Joney ~

I remember that one. There are a lot of those old, story love songs that I liked and teared up to when I listened. When I was in junior and in high school and just out, they were very popular.


~ Lizzy

[Teratogen]

Joney, I don't actually know that song, but I read through the lyrics. They're not TERRIBLE. I realized about halfway through that the "honey" in question was dead, and getting towards the end I was proven correct. Then it made it all more depressing than cheesy. Perhaps I'd just have to listen to the song. Maybe it's the music that adds to the cheese factor. But cheesiness in a song in its entirety is different than just plain terrible lyrics. Do you recall who the artist/band was?? If you want CHEESE, look no further than Jack Wagner's "All I Need." Yes, the soap star Jack Wagner. It was a minor hit in 1984.

[Christine]

Here you go, Teratogen..... Honey by Bobby Goldsboro.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqx9vgu6KnQ

[blonde madonna]

OK Christine, we need to organise an intervention because I suspect you have a serious Youtube addiction. Is there nothing you can't find there? Seriously though, wouldn't those feminists have a field day with the subtext of this song? It's so 1950s, except for the, gasp, horror, she walked out on him (I don't buy the 'angels came' bit) for being such a condescending workaholic who thought a puppy would solve the no-sex problem. Oops, I've gone too far haven't I ?

You are right Teratogan, not much beats the 80s for OTT.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn8E9rrBt7s

[lizzytysh]

To your whole post, Madonna .


~ Lizzy