you´re coming at ten
I begin to be happy
completely tamed
the star in the sky
I´m beginning to be sad
but it is my friend
at 10
Haiku's are not meant to relate to each other, and these two seem to fit that norm. Each stands poignantly alone.
More "Solitude and lonliness"?
you are such a gem!
As I remember, Sandra, somewhere in a haiku there is meant to be a reference to a "season".
the star in the sky
my winter sadness rising
but it is my friend
I'm impressed that a Spanish speaking person is writing a Japanese form of poetry, in English
Great stuff!
Matj
More "Solitude and lonliness"?
you are such a gem!
As I remember, Sandra, somewhere in a haiku there is meant to be a reference to a "season".
For example, it could be something like;the star in the sky
I´m beginning to be sad
but it is my friend
the star in the sky
my winter sadness rising
but it is my friend
I'm impressed that a Spanish speaking person is writing a Japanese form of poetry, in English
Great stuff!Matj
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
Sandra~
The second Haiku was added later, right? (please say, yes)
This is too funny. When I first read the original piece, I read it as someone's age being, 10. Isn't that a hoot? I was thinking a child you were fond of was on the way...
10. A time. NOW, I get it
The only 'critical' comment I have is that there are two "the"(s) in the first line of haiku2. That could easily be reduced with a little tweaking and maybe be a way to add meaning to the piece.
Just my 2cents.
thanks for sharing,
Laurie
The second Haiku was added later, right? (please say, yes)
This is too funny. When I first read the original piece, I read it as someone's age being, 10. Isn't that a hoot? I was thinking a child you were fond of was on the way...
10. A time. NOW, I get it
The only 'critical' comment I have is that there are two "the"(s) in the first line of haiku2. That could easily be reduced with a little tweaking and maybe be a way to add meaning to the piece.
Just my 2cents.
thanks for sharing,
Laurie
Of course, the reference to a season can be oblique/indirect.you´re coming at ten
I begin to be happy
completely tamed
eg:
you'r coming at ten
I blossom to happiness
completely tamed
the only reference to a season being, "blossom" and therefore "spring".
Haiku's are fun!
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.