The Rural Girl!!!

[mahdy]

Hey guys

this is Mahdy.... i'm so glad to make an account in this forum.....
though i aint any mastermind poet but sometimes i try to write . .. here's one of my rubbish...........



It was by countryside
Cool air was blowing
Sun was pretty hot
I was just walking.

Suddenly while walking
I found a girl
A rural girl sat on root
A little but far

Something can't express every time
Something's passion n poetic rhyme
I was just seeing nothing but her
Making a dreamy web around that girl


Time was passing by
But she still there
She was maybe seeing sky
Or something so far

I forgot everything
Forgot myself even
I was floating my dream
In a featherless heaven

[mat james]

mahdy,
sounds like a mystical experience to me.

the mind "stops"
then you are somewhere else
and know things you didn't before
then you come back
and can't quite remember
but you know it was where you want to be
and go
again.

sounds like tha same heaven
as Blake's "grain of sand"
San Juan de la Cruz's line, "forgotten among the lillies"
Tagor's "and the steps that I heard in my play room
are echoing from star to star"
or Leonard Cohen's "I set out one night,
but I did not know"

You are in great company mahdy (double meaning intended..)

Thanks for the beautiful picture you painted, Mat.

[mahdy]

hello mat
looks like u r a great criticiser (meant positively.. ) ....
u know what?... i didn't think of my poem like u....
i just write that i think....... my thought actually get converted when i hav my pen.... ...........

anyway, i like most this part of the poem........

Something can't express every time
Something's passion n poetic rhyme
I was just seeing nothing but her
Making a dreamy web around that girl


how about that?........

ohh... u r almost welcum ..............