the relationship of the week

J Hillenburg · Post by **J Hillenburg** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 3:46 am

the relationship of the week

I gotta admit, the mystery is gone.

The whole business of love,

and all its accompanying side effects,

holds little surprise for me anymore.

I’ve experienced every possible emotion

with a multitude of women,

love, hate, confidence, fear,

and I have too often lived through them,

drawing energy from them

as if they were the source from which

all life sprung.

Most of them were clawing phantoms

in the night, actually,

and I was their servant ---

an empty shell of a man only existing

to fulfill their every need.

And those that loved me, I abused

and took advantage of them all,

I swore my undying devotion to many

so that they would spread their thighs,

and render me incoherent with

wonderment and fear.

Often filled with a barely contained resentment

towards any that dare love me,

they would become the invisible ideal

towards which I would half-heartedly aspire.

Man,

I’ve never had relationships, I’ve only had

hostages.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 6:36 am

WoW. I love the honesty in your poetry. Serious self-examination and nailing it....don't know if your insights into yourself have been with you for sometime now, or if they've been coming to you slowly, or if they hit you all at once. But you're really spelling it out.

Paula · Post by **Paula** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 1:30 pm

Hi JH

That poem was very dark and I hope you can sift thru whatever black thoughts are going thru your head. The last line was exquiste.

Aside from the fact your poem scared me. I do hope you are OK and writing poetry of this nature is theaputic and helping you analysis whatever is happening in your life at present.

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Sun Mar 23, 2003 5:53 pm

If this is based on a true life of lust and love, it has to be an immense example of cathartic release.
Should it be a piece of insightful exploration of the nature of man, Wow.
Thanks. It made me sit up, stand back and reach for support all at once.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Mon Mar 24, 2003 1:37 am

Exactly, Paula, his last lines are poems unto themselves.

Byron, yes, I thought the same as to the nature of relationships, period. Expectations dropping us off at the first curve, rather than their lack sustaining us around the track. Don't know if it's more peculiar to men or not, though it seems from a female perspective that it may be. However, I've seen women in this mode as well, so perhaps, from the male side of things, it applies there equally.