Bristol Meet-Up Final Details

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 9:24 pm

Well, good... our alibi is safe with you, then ~ and them

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Thank heaven only the undesirables show up here. But, then, wouldn't law enforcement be here, too

?

Sorry

~ certain things one just cannot resist

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Byron · Post by **Byron** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:07 pm

lizzytysh wrote: Thank heaven only the undesirables show up here. But, then, wouldn't law enforcement be here, too ?

A bit of a dichotomy there then?

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Jan 17, 2006 10:10 pm

Mmmmmm.... yeah ~ maybe

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Byron · Post by **Byron** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:07 am

Yep, we're in two minds over this one. Speaking for myself only, of course.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 1:13 am

Okay, my dear Undoing, all both of you

.

~ Lizzy the Teddy Bear Watcher

Diane · Post by **Diane** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 12:24 pm

Geez, Teddy Bear!!!

Don't you know anything about establishing alibis and covering your tracks before you've laid them down !?! You in that what kind of field where you work? I thought it were somethin' havin' t'do with crime and investigation or somethin', but I guess I were wrong and it was one where potatoes grow .

You know ~ "Well, it couldn'ta been Lizzy and Diane ~ there were on a bus/train to somew'ere... can't recall at me moment; but I'm certain, Sir [I know them both well, y'know], that it t'weren't in the direction of the path of that stolen car you're talkin' about there."

< * Diane ~ you seen 'im last ~ 'ow many pills did 'e 'ave wit' 'im, then!?! methinks 'e lost a bottle on th' way back 'ome * >

Teddy Bear ~ I'm going to say this once and once only ~ but will say it slowly:

You're ~ Going ~ To ~ Have ~ To ~ Pay ~ Attention. If ~ You ~ Don't ~ You ~ Could ~ Be ~ My ~ And ~ Diane's ~ Undoing.

Matron~!

Brilliant, Lizzy

! You obviously spent a lot of time getting to know Albert when you last visited our sceptured isles.

The golden rule is to pretend everything's normal. Let's just pretend we are a pleasant group of Leonard Cohen fans, visiting the sights of Berlin, hugging trees, and carrying an orange teddy bear. I believe there is a train that takes a few hours from Berlin to get to Rugen, Lizzy. That is how we will get there, obviously.

I hope the pill situation gets sorted out, because there will be a special role for those who are familiiar with legal matters. Picture the scene, when we are teetering on the edge of a cliff in the stolen BMW, and having created a severe nuisance the length and breadth of Germany. We will be wondering whether it is worth going back to face justice, and the police will be arriving at any moment. Our lawyers will have to screech up to the cliff edge in their cars, jump out, leaving the doors open of course, and frantically consult with one another, to inform us of our options. Everything will depend upon that moment.

Diane

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 7:57 pm

lizzytysh wrote:Geez,
You're ~ Going ~ To ~ Have ~ To ~ Pay ~ Attention. If ~ You ~ Don't ~ You ~ Could ~ Be ~ My ~ And ~ Diane's ~ Undoing.

Matron~!

Pay attention....moi?..........My middle name is 'Gerald-the-Suicidal-Goldfish' and I have the same attention span of a goldf......

Pay attention....moi?...........My .....................ooooops.

........and then later on we found ourself at the far reaches of this wonderful glass orb and you wouldn't believe it, but I swear it's true, there was a lady in a blue uniform with a bottle of orange pills and she asked me if we wanted to try them and before I knew it, we found ourself at the far reaches........ZZzzzzzz....zzzz...zzz...zz

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Wed Jan 18, 2006 8:16 pm

During the battle of "Ogg the Norg" (526 AD and 16 minutes) when 'Albert The Terrible' aquitted himself with valour, gusto and pie and chips, he rightly deserved the accolades that were laid before him by his grateful minions. Being a shy, retiring and demonic kind of subject impaler, he never had cause to worry about dissention in the ranks of his glorious battallion of 'Ferocious-Feet-Stamping 14th Foot and Mouth,' Cavalry, what earned their battle honours in Mrs Miggins Pie Shop. Horsemeat was the main ingredient and this accounted for the total lack of 'orses in the Cavalry stables. Notwithstanding this obstacle to chargin' about and frightening the populace, 'Albert The Terrible's' Cavalry were much respected, but should any occassion arise that called for the immediate intervention of 'Albert The Terrible' 'imself, he would stride forth and brandish his 'magic-box.' Instantly, his enemies and friends knew they were on to a hiding and retreated from any violent incersion with 'Albert The Terrible'. Oft' were the times when he brandished his 'magic-box' and on every occassion, his foes withdrew from the battlefield. What was the secret of 'Albert The Terrible's' 'magic-box' I hear you ask? (Is a question mark necessary there?) I'll tell you, I said. Whenever 'Albert The Terrible' found himself in a dreadful and life threatening situation, his 'magic-box' got him out of it. How? Simple really, 'Albert The Terrible's' 'magic-box' was actually called his 'Alibi', and whenever he needed to get out of trouble, he relied on his old and trusty 'Alibi'. Some grammatical and spelling mistakes have been thrown in to muddy the story a tad, and I'm going for a lie down now.........

Byron · Post by **Byron** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 12:04 am

Scholars will regale you with the academic fruits from their researched gardening and in the fullness of time the legends that came into folklore have been derived from scholastic transcendental meanderings. Well let me tell you that, only 'alf of what we know is a quarter of what actually 'appened in those days of yore in the annals (can I say that Matron?) of history.
It was towards the back end of the 'Pubic Wars' when Rome was 'avin' trouble with the tribes from the Nether regions, that the Emperor 'Albuttus Testocullus,' of whom we shall hear more later (half past midnight on Friday) developed the military strategy we all know as 'Squervling yer ferrets.'
A military genius, well ahead of his time and ilk, but lacking in personal hygeine, Albuttus discovered his famous Squervling tactic whilst contemplating his navel in the public ablutionary establishment next to the Palace. He refused to use the Palace loos because it cost him more money, and Albuttus was as tight as a crab's bum at 40 fathoms. He happened to overhear two of his generals discussing their new idea on war tactics and he stole their scheme, to use it for himself. Strangely, coincidentaly, oddly and obviously, those two generals were found dead and up to their necks in 'ablution juice' a few days later.
Anyway, Albuttus Testocullus was able to finetune the scheme and as luck would have it, the Nether tribes attacked Rome on the following Thursday, which was quite unusual, on account of Thursday being their day off in lieu of Mayday and St. Dymphna's public holidays. They attacked Rome in phalanxes of 9 abreast and 68 rows deep and mounted on Abbysinian Thrunge-Ferrets, renowned for their fleetness of foot, incredible strength, enormous stamina, huge prehensile furry tails, staggeringly beautiful almond shaped eyes, and grubby claws.
Albuttus had mustered his armies (it wasn't illegal then) and those who could still walk unaided, even though bow-legged, formed up into the Squerf formation, for which the Pubic Wars are best remembered. Waiting until the last minute before launching his armies onto the Nether tribes, Albuttus completely surprised, routed (rowted?) flumoxed, confused and shocked the Nether warriors, as his pincer movement (borrowed from a local proctologist) trapped and engulfed the Nether soldiers.
Hundreds of buckets of 'ablution juice' were hurled at the Ferret cavalry and their riders, blinding them and sending them running hither and thither, before falling into heaps of disgustingly smelly non-combatants (useless, warlike-less, out of the game, exfighters) The carnage and mayhem that ensued was not Albuttus' finest hour. The wholesale docking of Ferret tails became a metaphore for forlorn followers of the art of winning in a gentlemanly fashion (puns to the left of us, puns to the right of us....) not!
The rest as you know is the stuff of furry tails............

Ali · Post by **Ali** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 2:33 am

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:06 pm

Yes, Diane ~ OBVIOUSLY.

Finally got a chance to read yours, Byron

. Incredible the way the mind doth work [or, go haywire], eh?

Well, Diane

~ I think Byron's Magic Alibi Box is going to do us just fine. Poised at the edge of the cliff, we'll throw it at the cops, where it'll no doubt drop somewhere near their feet [I'm not a particularly good aim, so if you are, you may want to take on this role. Actually, I think we'll be better if we throw it 'short of' them, so they'll take up more of our precious time just getting to it]. In today's world, they'll presume it to be a bomb, and set about trying to defuse it. Our attorneys will be sidetracked, as they try to cover their own ar.. [you know how they are] and be momentarily distracted, as they set about trying to help the cops. Life and limb over our liberty, any day, they'll say... You then run to the left, I'll run to the right... and into our attorneys' car we'll go. [They'll know we'll return it. We can promise to, for good measure, as we screech out of there and back down the mountain.] They can drive the BMW home. We can then ditch their car, hop the train, and will cross each other, going and coming, and then we can unwind from our adventure, visiting the cliffs in leisure. When they finally get to the Magic Box's inner workings, they'll find our Alibi, and see it was never us all along. Foiled again, they'll be. Sound like a plan

?

Your everlasting partner in crime,
Lizzy

Diane · Post by **Diane** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:31 pm

Albuttus Testocullus...

Byron, I have said it before, and I say it again: Your style is inimitable

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Lizzy said:

...Our attorneys will be sidetracked, as they try to cover their own ar.. [you know how they are] and be momentarily distracted, as they set about trying to help the cops. Life and limb over our liberty, any day, they'll say...

Sounds like a Master Plan Lizzy. I think together we'll make a fantastic team

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Partners in crime indeed

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Love,

Diane

< * That's the first time I have ever used the 'evil' icon. What is happening to me ? * >

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Jan 19, 2006 10:53 pm

< * That's the first time I have ever used the 'evil' icon. What is happening to me ? * >

Yes ~ I rarely go there myself; however, now is the time, Diane. Now is the time.

We still may need to set a time with a couple hypnotists before we leave our respective lands... "You will go deeeeeeep down into the recesses of your innermost being, where you will find your Shadow Self waiting. You will embrace it. You will become as one. You will bring it forth to hide in its own shadow, until it's needed. You must start this process now. There will be no time to begin later, at high speeds on the autobahn. You must remember the key word and repeat it often ~ evil. I can be evil if I need to be. I must be evil or our plan will fail. Your Shadow Self will be there to help you, but you must remember to post its portrait periodically, so it can become used to the Light. Now, at the count of 10... "

Byron, I have said it before, and I say it again: Your style is inimitable

That's the word I was looking for ~ Inimitable!

Albuttus Testocullus...

A really loaded one there

!

~ Lizzy seeking fleeting Shadow

Diane · Post by **Diane** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:14 pm

Lizzy,

...or maybe I just need to keep repressing my sensible, adult shadow-self, and allow the silly, childish side to continue unhampered, as usual

.

Love,

Diane

Rob · Post by **Rob** » Fri Jan 20, 2006 12:18 pm

If there is an England v Germany match, I'll be supporting Germany.

Rob.