Untitled (suggestions welcome)

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 7:01 pm

The time has come
to leave,
there are only some
hours left.

the time has passed
like the sound of the wind
before the rain;
like my steps
on the stones
I walked
to get to you.

I do not know
what you want,
I never knew,

But I know
how important it is
to tell
or just to feel
someone listens,
just like an echo
of you

I do not mind
about
the pain
you gave to me,
the mean words
you said to me

forgive me
because
I had no speech
when you talked to God,
but I understand
when after that,
you cursed and opposed.

Mi silence and your arrogance
will some day talk.

Diane · Post by **Diane** » Mon Nov 21, 2005 9:38 pm

My silence and your arrogance
will some day talk

That sounds like an optimistic ending. I love those two lines, Sandra.

Diane

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:46 am

Stones.

Because stones are unyielding
Because stones build walls
Because stones are deaf

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:50 am

thanks Diane.

oh....Fljotsdale, I was going to put it

My steps on the stones

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 12:58 am

Great minds...

Boss · Post by **Boss** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:01 am

Hi Sandra,

This is a fine poem. It reads well, it is smooth.

It also reminds me quite eerily of an experience I had with a girl some years ago!

Thanks

Boss

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:38 am

oh......thanks Boss. this poem indeed is about a teacher/student relationship. I have some students that are in social risk and their lives are quite difficult. To relate with them is a task that does not show inmediate consequences...my hope is that in the future they will still remember some of this intentions -
But the idea itself may relate to other experiences as well...

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 1:46 am

IIIIIII don't know.

I was thinking "Crossroads" ~ maybe "Stoney Crossroads" or, with Snow's Spelling Primer, that might be "Stony Crossroads"

.

Probably what you've already chosen is best, though....since the title is supposed[?] to have at least one of the words from the poem in it?

I hope your students can benefit from it, too, Sandra. I like it.

~ Lizzy

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:07 am

oh......lizzytysh, this is funny, I put the title Crossroads in other forum I put this poem...

but I was not quite happy with that title......
thanks,
S

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Tue Nov 22, 2005 2:16 am

Well, I guess I'll make a similar, one-off claim, then ~ Great Minds Dissatisfied... ~ I wasn't really satisfied with it, either [as you can see]. Seemed too generic and pedestrian, somehow

. Well, at least we agree on that

.

Very ironic. In fact.

< * maybe that's where I got it from ~ I've been working on those powers lately, you know * >

~ Lizzy

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 5:45 pm

I like sometimes to put my poems in the wild.....this one in 4 forums and I only got answers in two of them so far.....

so I can get a more balanced idea of the impact....

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 5:54 pm

Ahhhh......very good idea, Sandra. Balance.

How was it received on the other forum where you received responses?

~ Lizzy

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Wed Nov 23, 2005 8:46 pm

someone said that he´d called it
"this watch is broken"......and I think it is very original.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 7:04 am

Yes, it is original, Sandra. Are you still awaiting other possibilities before you officially name it?

Sandra · Post by **Sandra** » Thu Nov 24, 2005 6:23 pm

I am not sure but I like this one very much.....