Short story info...

[LaurieAK]

Byron wrote:

Have you any idea of how heavy a bucket of water is?

Gawd yes. Too heavy. What you do is fill a bucket with ice cubes (lighter than water) take it to your destination. Then wait.

You are welcome.

regards,
Laurie

[Byron]

Dear lady, I'm awfully sorry. The suggestion you have proffered regarding the transportation of water, (solid), is an admirable (close link to naval matters, nearly) one. It gladdens my heart to know we do have a few grey cells within the confines of this, recently, expanding forum. Everything else, is just so much flotsam and jetsam.

Would that I could arrange matters concerning movement of my water, but alas and alack, you really aught to see the size of me bucket!

[lizzytysh]

Hi John ~

Laurie said:

I don't want any problems to arise because *I* am involved in the process so I will ask someone else to do the reveal. I will stay completely (publicly) out of this process from now on.

John said:

Laurie, it would certainly make sense for me to identify the writers if that is what we're going to do.

Elizabeth said:

Nope. Not me. It would have been veeeerrrrrrrryyyy suspect if John, lovely Andrea, or any of the Berlin committee, had posted the results.

Sorry if this confused you; however, since the Winning Story tends to be as important as the Identity of the Writer [and vice versa]; the meaning of "reveal" wasn't specified; and the meaning of "staying completely (publicly) out of this process from now on" was taken at face value; it seems that you would be as likely a candidate for one role as the other [revealer of winner/revealer of writer]. It didn't matter which, in the context I was using it; that of highlighting the reductio ad absurdum of making an issue of 'who's going to announce what,' and 'who [past tense] refused to be involved in that process, at all .' Who gives a flying f... [feather ] ~ in any direction?

Anyone:
Please don't be starting false rumours as to who is or isn't part of the 5 person judging committee.

In spite of 'who announces what' being a pedestrian matter, the matter of "Here come da judge" does have a certain degree of interest.

On that matter, a reminder: I'll start whatever rumours I like [unless, of course, you weren't speaking to me ].

Despite my reputation [ * well, sometimes accurate * ] of omnipotence, I have not cued in to ' wha's happenin' ' , so have been left to my own devices. Since it's not of much interest to sit at my computer and guess all day long, who they might be, I've used some of my deductive abilities [which don't require omnipotence].

In that regard, this did not seem to be a bad place to start:

Laurie said:

I instigated getting Berlin-folk onboard, since their publication was being greatly impacted by the outcome.

I am not in a position right now to name the jury, it is still being worked on. My plan is to have an uneven number of judges to prevent any ties.

It will most likely be 3 folks who judge. I'll pass on definate news when all is resolved.
I may or may not be part of the judging jury.

Since that date, Laurie said:

There are five judges.

"Berlin-folk" and "their publication" ~ This could be a man-on-the-street operation, including the local folks's unofficial, street rag; or it could be the publisher and editorial staff of the "Berliner Morgenpost" or "Berliner Zeitung;" but I took a chance, winged it, and decided it probably referred to the committee of the Leonard Cohen Berlin Event and the Event booklet.

If I'm accurate in that guess, I think someone [ * hmmm....who I wonder * ] other than myself may have provided more info for fueling rumours as to who might constitute the Judging Committee than my paltry statement, regarding who might be performing the coveted role of Announcer.

I understand that when some people tell you, "We will tell you what you need to know, when we determine the time is right. In the meantime, you have no business thinking, pondering, or guessing the content of what we will be telling you," that you should be a good subject and comply.

* you know what they say......... "If you don't use it, you lose it." *

The last I checked [though I do tend to forget to check, sometimes, these days ~ see above admonition ], I was still an intelligent person. Soooooo, I thought, "Achtung! [ * oh dear, wrong word * ] I mean, Aha! I'll bet one of the first places to check might be the Berlin Organizing Committee !" ~ Yep.......now, mind you, my checking had to do with who ~ other than the disappearing-act-for-fear-of-ruthless-shadows Laurie ~ might, conceivably, possibly, make the highly-coveted Announcement!

As of this morning, by popular demand, I am STILL going to be the poster of the results when it happens.

Thank heaven < * for little girls * > [whoops, sorry for the departure], that mystery is finally over! A little less drama could have kept us right at where we ended back up at, anyway.....but certain villification needs would have gone unfulfilled, so, hey! Here we are, again .

Now, it's important to understand that it is only through the deep-seated, inexplicable need of [wouldn't want to mention a name, so let's just say * Anyone * ] to villify that a conceptual leap was made from "Who will be the Announcer?" to "Who will be on the Judging Committee?" Be it " . . . Announcer?" or be it " . . . Judging Committee?" ~ either/or ~ there's a perpetrator in the house revealing clues, and it's not me .

Now:

If the contest gets spoiled by someone behaving badly (because it is *me*):

I'm not sure, Entry ~ I believe initial notifications will be confidential, so you may never know. If you'll enter, we can know better.

Hi Entry ~

Oh my, don't need to go there. Only a very quick reread was necessary to see of what you speak.

Well, so much for my teasing you ~ having been soundly corrected. I know your post was absolutely serious, and should have been answered in absolutely that fashion ~ there I go veering off the path.

However, I can vouch for the Confidentiality not being the route, in that entry winners were announced publicly, the time my poem won First Place [with Laurie as judge ~ waaaaaaaaaaay back when ].

< having heard these unspeakably horrific things, the crowd jeered, "Spoiler! Spoiler! Spoiler!" >

< * all I want to know, now, is if there will be a brig on the property, at the time of Announcement of Story, Writer, and/or Judging Committee? Will someone please call "Rent-A-Brig"? Laurie ~ Would you mind being in charge of that, along with your Announcing assignment? * >

Finally:

. . . all I can do is apologize in advance. What is going on here speaks for itself.

In all due plagiarization, I repeat, all I can do is apologize in advance. What is going on here speaks for itself.

< * dabbing corner of eye with tissue * >

Yes, I do. And, yes, it does.

~ Lizzy
[Again, John, sorry for any confusion .]

[LaurieAK]

Thanks Byron!
I do try.
Happy hauling.
Laurie
p.s. the ice gets rid of that nasty sloshing motion too. winwin.

[lizzytysh]

DRAT IT!!! Two edited lines ~ and all I wanted to do was correct my error of italicizing when I'd meant to quote! Thanks a LOT, Laurie!!! Are you trying to RUIN my LIFE!?! OBVIOUSLY, you MUST be!!!

Thanking you in advance for NOT doing ANY more SPOILING,
I remain,
Lizzy

< *that's it ~ I'm outta here * >

[LaurieAK]

Lizzy~

Get help.

[lizzytysh]

Okay, Fljotsdale ~ Now to you ~

You Incalcitrant, Incorrigible Co-Rumour-Monger!!! Do Not, I repeat Do Not, express any, relevant thoughts you may have until the time has been deemed right by others than yourself! No matter how logical those thoughts may be. You ARE in the CONTROL ZONE ~ and it will be most helpful to Security if you remain vigilant in your awareness of that f.a.c.t.!

[Now, just between you and me ~ I had the same thought. Not so far-fetched, really, eh? For those of us who have learned to think and conjecture possibilities. Leonard Cohen. Leonard Cohen site. Leonard Cohen Event. Leonard Cohen Event, official booklet. Short story. Leonard Cohen has written short stories. Committee of judges. Originally 'guessed' to be 3 people. Later determined and announced to be 5 people. "Berlin folks;" maybe yes/maybe no Laurie; hmmm......could be room for one more. Who, in your wildest imagination, might that ever ~ possibly ~ include? We could, of course, be wrong in even considering such a thing ~ and, it may absolutely turn out not to be so. The point, however, is the reasoning process. . . to conclude that such a possibility could exist .

Seriously, Fljotsdale ~ I think you and I need to go in together on a private-eye business. We seem to have similar thought patterns, when it comes to underground thinking. Those thoughts and ideas that are just so far-fetched and beyond reach of most, that it would only occur to those such as you and I, the Rare breed. Just know that you may need to misbehave once in awhile, going against what others order you to do/not do, to go where no man has ever gone before, but the financial rewards will be great, I promise.]

Shall we 'do lunch' one day next week and discuss this? A Private lunch, of course.

Best of luck to you in the contest ,
Lizzy

[lizzytysh]

I don't have time, Laurie ~ I'm too busy helping you . We're still working on your victimization and villification issues, and we're just not making the progress we anticipated.

If you're interested in my getting help, though ~ you could do it by not giving me any more "edited" lines.

[lizzytysh]

P.S. Fljotsdale ~

As they say on the call-in, radio programs on NPR, I'll take your answer off-line. [We'll just PM about it .]

~ Lizzy

[lizzytysh]

Laurie ~

Do not presume or assu that you have the right to apologize for me. You don't. I'm also self-directing in those matters.

~ Lizzy

[LaurieAK]

Lizy~

I'm sorry that me being a spokesperson and judge for this competition has turned out to be such a painful experience for you. It is almost over.

Do not ruin it for the authors.

Laurie

[tom.d.stiller]

LaurieAK
Joined: 20 Nov 2002
Posts: 997
Location: usa

Dear Laurie,

In passing I see that you're about to join the very exclusive club of four-digit-posters. I don't want to miss the opportunity to say a friendly "welcome to the club". If you should feel that not all members of this club share my view on this, I can say that at least the vast majority does.

Keep on, and maybe I'll live to see your first digit switch to "2"...

Cheers
tom

[LaurieAK]

Hey Tom~

Geez, I am always amazed when someone brings the issue of 'number of posts' up because i never pay attention. Just like i wasn't paying attention to this.

I will assume the prize IS a Mini-Cooper? (oh i hope i hope...)

This here post is 998, heart be still


Thanks mon!

Laurie

[Entry]

Hey Tom~

Geez, I am always amazed when someone brings the issue of 'number of posts' up because i never pay attention. Just like i wasn't paying attention to this.

I will assume the prize IS a Mini-Cooper? (oh i hope i hope...)

This here post is 998, heart be still


Thanks mon!

Laurie

how nice it would be if your 1,000th post was to announce that I have won the competition. I suggest you acknowledge this as 999 then wait until you are ready to tell everyone that I was the winner.

[lizzytysh]

Lizy~

I'm sorry that me being a spokesperson and judge for this competition has turned out to be such a painful experience for you. It is almost over.

Do not ruin it for the authors.

Laurie

The sooner you emerge from your delusional, distorted world, the better it will be for everyone, Laurie. If you'll recall, you were ready to bolt, offering me the judgeship position, which I immediately declined, for two reasons.

One ~ I am not qualified. I immediately and emphatically pointed out that fact. < * where is the pain? * >

Two ~ I didn't really want to see you go, as I appreciate your 'sweeter' voice, though any more I'm being forced to question what's really you and what's not.

*******************************************************
'Painful'? Because you're "the spokesperson"? Good Lord ~ if that's what you consider your claim to fame, that would conceivably bring pain to anyone, or what I would ever hang my hat on, your measures are simply, sadly wanting. I suggest you set your sights higher.

You've got to be kidding me. It's not at all that you've 'held' that 'lofty' position [as you must consider it to be, if you feel it's inflicting pain on me]. It's how you've handled it in regard to me that cause me to object. It shows how [what a person perceives as] a little bit of 'power' ["spokesperson . . . painful"], can so quickly and easily magnify in its 'wielding.'

It's pointless for you to obsessively continue to try to villify me and discount, undermine, and invalidate my worth. I won't make "majority here" claims as Tom is doing, as I don't run straw polls, but the people I care most about here do not share your views. That's enough for me.

I have no idea what others may or may not feel, and certainly not the true majority ~ so I view Tom's statement as hyperbolic in scope, in the sense of "the majority" ~ though I don't doubt, nor do I wish to doubt, that your voice is highly valued by some or even many. I made mention of it myself.

Your arrogant positioning, regarding your "I'm sorry" [albeit feigned] 'apology,' simply underscores what I'm saying here, on your attitude and actions regarding me [now and in the past].

If my reactions have been what you consider "pain" ~ it is instructional that you remember that you have been the one taking up all the space at the wailing wall, as you've alternately paced and looked to the ground and skies, then crumpled to the ground in a pitiable mess, in response to things I've said to you, or comments I've made.

Your powers of estimation are sadly lacking if you feel that your being 'a . . . judge' [there you go, by the way, giving another CLUE to this CONFIDENTIAL process, which you've been so diligently admonishing others that they keep private on discussing in any way, shape, form, or fashion. So, now, we have 4 guesses to go, eh ?] of the Short Story contest; much less an "Announcer" ~ I'm sorry, but that's just simply, too laughable.

You apparently feel you're on to something big, though . Conference calls and e-mails with Leonard in relation to all this ? [I could see the committee selecting maybe the top 3 contenders and Jarkko forwarding them on, for final selection. Beyond that, I'd be much surprized, but still not in pain.

Laurie, when it comes to pain for me, with areas that aren't in my personal, day-to-day life, it's things like the Tsunami; the hurricanes [Katrina and Rita] and their impact on everyone, and even moreso the poor and helpless; my personal concern for St. Squidgy's welfare; and now, the horrible tragedy which keeps only getting worse in Palestine and India with the earthquake, after shocks, and additionally catastrophic weather conditions against people having no protection. These are areas that equate to 'pain' for me. Not what you are or aren't doing, except as it directly pertains to me. You even presumed or assu that I knew that the NG was a place you had never been. How would I know that? Why would I care? Do we need to contact the high-level scientists and advise them that the axis of the earth has changed, and it's now in Alaska in the being of one person, so they need to allow for possible shifts, as she moves about?

However, your presumption and assu that it's causing me pain is totally consistent < * consistency is almost always good * > with your wailing levels vs. precipitators to date. Thank heaven < * for little girls * > [sorry for that departure, again; I just can't say those words without Maurice Chevalier coming to mind] I didn't volunteer for [did you happen to notice that I didn't do that, either?] take on or accept either of those roles. The wall would have collapsed from the salt of your tears and sound waves from your wailing....and the Forum would have been left with more "WAAAAAAAHS" in any number of forms from you.

The mocking wails I've released have been so over-the-top as not to be missed by anyone who can put two words, together ~ which means GWB would've missed out. Poor dear. Perhaps, whoever consults and interprets for him what he hears and reads on a daily basis, might be willing to get with you.

The dripping sarcasm in your "I'm sorry that . . . " clarifies and exemplifies how desperately you have wanted to feel that, in some way, you're superior. Well, I hope you've done well with your "15 minutes" because, as you say, they're almost over. I've had no reason to watch the clock, either with its onset or its conclusion, but apparently you've had your eyes glued to Big Ben. I don't even hear the ticking. It's simply too miniscule in the scheme of things.

However, since you pretend to feel that 'this' is what it's all about, I will say a few things to you, as an adult, to make some things clear [hopefully], henceforth:

(1) Every time you try to undermine, discount, insult, invalidate, whatever- else-of-a-personally-negative-nature, me [now or in the future] ~ I will directly address you on it to keep your abyssmal records straight for, perhaps, one day, you; or, in the meantime, perhaps, other readers. One thing is for certain, however. You will hear from me.

(2) Your comment was that you weren't going to take it lying down. Well, I've been standing the whole time, and will remain so.

(3) I will continue to address you until (a) you get sick of it and stop interjecting your useless, aggressive remarks, where I'm posting on the Forum; or (b) others get sick of my responding to you, and ask you to stop so that I will.

(4) At this point, I don't care which you choose. I'm simply outlining the process for you. As an adult.

~ Lizzy