A Love We Cannot Comprehend

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 4:46 pm

A man in rage and wild contempt
a woman chatting to offend
a child that turns to hurt his friend
Oh Lord of Song please let it end

Oh Lord of Song please let it end
restore your spirit let it mend
the broken hearts that you may lend
a love we cannot comprehend
a love we cannot comprehend

And anger plainly raised by fear
excited brains will make it clear
that bloody floods evolve from smear
Oh Lord of Song attend the tear

Oh Lord of Song attend the tear
restore your spirit let it peer
remake a plough from every spear
that we may reap your blessings here
that we may reap your blessings here

The mind bewildered in the night
and sparks that flash to serve the light
but still no land no hope in sight
Oh Lord of Song please make it right

Oh Lord of Song please make it right
restore your spirit heal the blight
In you the darkness can be bright
the blinded world regain the sight
the blinded world regain the sight

The heavy burdened flesh that call
for greasy fish and pop with all
on alters of the holy mall
Oh Lord of Song light up the vault

Oh Lord of song light up the vault
restore your spirit in the hall
We know of pain we walked with Saul
now lead us to the meal of Paul
now lead us to the meal of Paul

They harvest gold they did not grow
they make it coil with pride they glow
and criticised their minds will blow
Oh Lord of song please let them know

Oh Lord of Song please let them know
that power in your mercy show
then faithful one to anger slow
they shall remorse their malice so
they shall remorse their malice so

The hearts I stole to claim a thrust
my brother and my sister rushed
a killers face that never blushed
Oh Lord of Song heal up the crushed

Oh Lord of Song heal up the crushed
restore your spirit as you touched
the lips of mourners low and hushed
that faith can turn the mind to trust
that faith can turn the mind to trust

The words I used the life I spend
forgive me now and let it end
the breath of wanderlust ascend
Oh Lord of Song please let it end

Oh Lord of Song please let it end
restore your spirit let it mend
this broken heart that you may lend
a love I cannot comprehend
a love I cannot comprehend

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:07 pm

I love this, Peter.

The only line that I'm having real trouble with is:

"for greasy fish and pop with all"

It seems out of sync in the way you've phrased it. By pop, do you mean soda pop? Greasy fish? Must they be greasy? It reminds me of a greasy fish 'n' chips place, with a can of soda. Just out of sync with the rest.

"mall" creeps into the same arena, but hovers more on the sidelines. Would prefer a different word.

The rest really touches me, however.

~ Lizzy

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:07 pm

I like that. Even though it's religious.

One or two phrases are a touch ungrammatical, but I guess it's mostly poetic licence

apart from this line:

a spark that flash to serve the light

SHOULD be 'a spark that flashes... etc' but it wouldn't scan, so I see why you didn't do that.

Can I presume to offer suggestions?

The sparks that flash to serve the light

Or

A spark, a flash, to serve the light

You could take out the comma after 'flash' if you wanted to.

Sorry if I'm being hyper-critical.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:09 pm

"A spark, a flash, to serve the light"

I like that suggestion, including leaving the comma in place. More dynamic reading it that way, too.

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:14 pm

I hope Peter does, too, Lizzy.

Thank you.

I didn't mind the greasy fish 'n' chips in the mall image, myself. I saw highly overweight people stuffing them in their faces, which I think is what he wanted to convey...

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:16 pm

thanks for the kind remarks and suggestions both. I changed the gramma.

regards

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:21 pm

Fish-and-chips shop ~ holy? Please explain that context, Peter.

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:29 pm

Well Elizabeth, I think that we tend to put much hope into many of the places that sell us food and all kinds of stuff. I am not sure that these places really deliver the satisfaction that they claim to convey.
It seems to me that the mall in some regards could be a modern temple. And my tiny lyric could be understood as a kind of bewildered prayer that the source of creation would shed some light on the vaults of this temple, so that we will recieve food that gives us strength
Best wishes

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:32 pm

Heh! I thought that's what you were saying. But I have a religious background...

Not a religious present, however.

peter danielsen · Post by **peter danielsen** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:41 pm

It reminds me of something Leonard Cohen said live when he introduced the song The Guests

..it's a song about how a new soul comes into the world looking for the feast, feeling completely separated from everything, feeling isolated and in exile, and how the great author of this dismoral catastrophe, this veil of tears, pulls each of these souls into the Feast and into the banquet. And noone knows where the night is going, noone knows why the wine is flowing and Oh Love I need You I need You I need You...

Fljotsdale · Post by **Fljotsdale** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:48 pm

The Guests is such a beautiful song. One of my favourites.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Mon Aug 22, 2005 5:49 pm

It's simply my preference for vernacular that fits with the rest. When the rest of the poem uses words and references that aren't necessarily pinned to a time and place, the insertion of a fish-and-chips and soda pop in an aluminum can, at a mall, is jarring. I like the sense of the eternal and internal that comes with such a prayer that you are making. In reading what Leonard said, and that you've quoted, I find his choice of words to be consistent in the way that I like.

woody · Post by **woody** » Tue Aug 23, 2005 4:43 am

i like this, some good memorable lines in places,
'remake a plough from every spear ' this being one of my favourites.

linda_lakeside · Post by **linda_lakeside** » Tue Aug 23, 2005 6:21 am

It seems all has pretty much been said. I don't know how I missed this one. It really grabbed me! Some great lines in there. Thanks.

Linda.