Jan

[Sandra]

You wake up,
On that old fashion feather filled pillow that you like,
cause you knead it into any shape you need it;
Messed up
in fear,
sadness,
utter confusion.
Is it real or not?
And you get overwhelmed
by emotions;
all means of control gone.
“That´s how it should be” you say
“while sleeping you cannot harm anyone with your antics”
“my self-loathing is pretty well known”
“can´t we talk adolescent nonesense like adults?”

[Critic2]

You wake up,
On that old fashion feather filled pillow that you like,
cause you knead it into any shape you need it;
Messed up
in fear,
sadness,
utter confusion.
Is it real or not?
And you get overwhelmed
by emotions;
all means of control gone.
“That´s how it should be” you say
“while sleeping you cannot harm anyone with your antics”
“my self-loathing is pretty well known”
“can´t we talk adolescence nonesense like adults?”

I'm sorry no-one has commented on this yet. I find it atmospheric and enjoyable, thanks. btw I think "adolescent" would work a little better

regards

Michael

[tom.d.stiller]

I'm sorry no-one has commented on this yet. I find it atmospheric and enjoyable, thanks.

I agree, Michael. this poem shouldn't go uncommented. It is indeed atmospheric, from the dense sonics of the first three lines to the final quotes.

Maybe I could hint at the well-drafted anti-symmetry of the twice seven lines that surround the central question. Or at the "old fashion feather filled pillow", where the tangle of attributes allows for "utter confusion" and conveys different meanings at once.

Thank you, Sandra, for posting it. I'd have commented earlier, but the week didn't allow for much forum activity.

Cheers
tom

[Sandra]

this "poem " is not much my creativity at all. I must confess that are Jan´s words that I have arranged the best I could

[tom.d.stiller]

this "poem " is not much my creativity at all. I must confess that are Jan´s words that I have arranged the best I could

Words are almost always "found". Their arrangement is the craft of a poet.

[Sandra]

I did not arrange much...
but you are right tomd...