Leonard Cohen

[GoinCohen]

I recently discovered Leonard Cohen, and ever since, I find him wrapped in my thoughts like a hidden treasure behind my words.

[linda_lakeside]

I would be a hypocrite if I were to say that I had the know how and the wherewithall to 'chop up' your poem. My question is if, as you stated, it is not your best or closest to you, why did you choose this one to post? Why not post your most loved and allow someone to kill your darlings? The closest to our hearts is not always our best and might, just might be improved by outside influence.

Just a thought.

Linda

[Perth]

Hi jbarwick,
what can I say?
.....
.....
.....
Crap springs to mind. I even clicked onto your site.
What can I say?
.....
.....
.....
It stinks.

"

I miss you like the owl misses the day
but you are a stranger and I am so far away"

I miss you like the owl misses the day!!!

and as for "but you are a stranger and I so far away".......

all I can say is " Thank the Lord"

[linda_lakeside]

jbarwick:

I suppose I could have tried, the end result would've been the same though.

Linda.

[lizzytysh]

Dear Jbarwick ~

"I recently discovered Leonard Cohen, and ever since, I find him wrapped in my thoughts . . . "

Everything worthwhile has a point of origin, which generally-speaking exists as a point on the lower end of a continuum. Few enter the world of writing with a resounding success. There are a few exceptions, i.e. the woman who wrote Harry Potter, and someone else [another woman] who is following in the realm of fantasy and magic, but not in the same vein as Harry Potter.

If you're inspired by Leonard's writing, I endorse your continuing to emulate it. You have progressed two people through time with this. It has a sense of the intangible and the beneath-the-surface realities. I can't critique it in the way an 'accomplished' person would; neither, however, am I going to slam it, as Perth has done. I feel that is grossly unfair to you. "Chop it up and offer feedback" suggests to me a literal, separating out ["chop it up"] ~ rather than a hack it to death until it's a bloody pulp ~ with constructive criticism. I hope someone will care enough to do that for you. I wish I were able.

Please keep writing. I don't fully understand all of what is intended with what you wrote; but I understood the dynamics and representation of some of it, and feel that writing about it is worthwhile.

Welcome to the Forum, and please keep sharing.

~ Elizabeth

[GoinCohen]

Thank you... Some of you.

Though I would have to say, most of you show no integrity at all by merely saying "it sucks". If you think it sucks, good! Tell me how to make it better! Give an example. Show that you actually have some authority for making judgments.

If you've looked at it long enough to say it sucks, you've looked at it long enough to notice something you didn't like about it. What was it?

[linda_lakeside]

And therein lies the rub. Sometime people will just say it sucks or it's good. But the poet wants to know what works and what doesn't, like Lizzy said, just keep on writing. I also wish I could give you a critique but I don't have the ability.

Just keep on keepin' on.

Linda.