Geoffrey wrote: ↑Fri Mar 15, 2024 12:37 am … being with friends takes up the lion's share of most days. it is difficult to say no when they ask for company. in any case, reading books (not to mention writing them) is generally for introverts, people with few contacts. it is a pleasurable but lonely pastime - also time consuming. i think this is probably why leonard knocked it on the head and picked up a guitar.
I always had the impression that Leonard Cohen was actually quite introverted—certainly deeply introspective—and that he spent a lot of time —perhaps even the lion’s share of most days—being alone, reading and writing (and contemplating).
Incidentally, many introverts enjoy spending time with other people, but they tend to be very selective as to whom and when, preferring occasional close and deep interactions with a chosen few, rather than constant socialising with anyone and everyone.
Also, some people do not find solitary activities to be “lonely” — being alone and being lonely are two separate things. An introvert might actually feel lonelier in a crowd than they do when they are alone.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being an extrovert who thrives on company, but nor is there anything wrong with being an introvert who enjoys and appreciates solitude. Both types of people exist. The ways that introverts and extroverts perceive and interact and feel with regards to interactions with other people are totally different. People of one inclination should try not to project their own thoughts and feelings onto people of different inclinations, because the latter probably do not share those thoughts and feelings at all.
Purely anecdotally and based on my own experiences as an introvert, I have found that most of the extroverts whom I have encountered do not understand introverts in the least, and will make the most bizarre declarations about them, clearly failing to grasp that we are far happier being the way that we are: we do not want to change and we definitely do not want to be extroverts! I would absolutely hate being around a bunch of other people most of the time — it would literally destroy me. We are not all the same—- far from it!
P.S. I should not have used “we” in the above paragraph— I cannot speak for all introverts, nor did I intend to — I was simply trying to make the point that a lot of people are very happy being the way that they are, and they do not desire to be like someone else. Undoubtedly there must be some introverts who wish to be more extroverted, but I am not one of them. As a kid, people used to tell me that I should try to be more outgoing— to be more like the other kids— but I could never understand why they thought that I was the one who should change, or even why they thought I should change at all, when I was quite happy being me. As far as I am concerned, if someone doesn’t like or understand how I am and how I like to live my life, that is very much their problem, not mine. I have never understood why some people think that people should all be the same, when we are so obviously not! Some of us rejoice in our differences — in who we are! — and absolutely do not want to be like anyone else. It is strange when extroverts suggest that there is something wrong or deficient about being introverted — it isn’t a disease or a shortcoming— introverts are perfect just the way they are!
Yes, that's an explanation that has floated around for a long time (and variations thereof, long before computer games or computers were invented!), but I am not sure how "good" it is!