something more

[rick]

every night when the sun goes down
i see the same people gathering around
and every evening as the sun's sinking low
i see the city cast it's long shadow
and there's a man sitting in his window
and a woman standing in the door
and you're in the alleyway and i'm on the rooftop
searchin for something more

my love came to me late at night
to whisper to me that love was allright
like a concertina it rang in my ears
when the morning came my love had disappeared
and there's a man standing in his shadow
and a woman behind a closed door
you search the highway and i'll search the sky
lookin for something more

down in the valley there's a war ragin on
the forces of apathy are gettin so strong
the wise old woman recalls these days
when young girls give love and young men fight anyway
and there's a man standing in the fields
and a woman doing the chores
and you're on the mountaintop and i'm diggin holes
searchin for something more

sing to me angels of clouds rolling by
sing to me so sweet and fine
forgotten dreams are the weave of a lie
so sing to me soft and sing to me of what is mine

the wheels of fortune are turning away
as those in the know have nothing to say
the spiritual now is the comfort zone
how much to have before you go it alone
and there's a man who says i'm a fool
and a woman who says i'm a bore
and you're in the concert hall and i sing off key
searchin for something more

[LaurieAK]

Rick~

Your poem has great ambiance. Reminds me of music in the genre of the movie, "Cold Mountain"...country/folk/traditional.

There is a 'sweetness' to it that stays consistent throughout. None of the rhymes are too predictable or trying too hard.

Nice piece!

Laurie

[lizzytysh]

Hi Rick ~

I like the way your characters switch places between the high and the low ~ and the feeling of "life" that weaves throughout it. It really 'feels' of the searching and disappointment that we go through, and yet still haven't given up. Off-key is better than no singing at all. I enjoyed the feeling of 'wandering,' mentally and through your images.

~ Lizzy

[rick]

thank you both!

[murphybridget837]

every night when the sun goes down
i see the same people gathering around
and every evening as the sun's sinking low
i see the city cast it's long shadow
and there's a man sitting in his window
and a woman standing in the door
and you're in the alleyway and i'm on the rooftop
searchin for something more

my love came to me late at night
to whisper to me that love was allright
like a concertina it rang in my ears
when the morning came my love had disappeared
and there's a man standing in his shadow
and a woman behind a closed door
you search the highway and i'll search the sky
lookin for something more

down in the valley there's a war ragin on
the forces of apathy are gettin so strong
the wise old woman recalls these days
when young girls give love and young men fight anyway
and there's a man standing in the fields
and a woman doing the chores
and you're on the mountaintop and i'm diggin holes
searchin for something more

sing to me angels of clouds rolling by
sing to me so sweet and fine
forgotten dreams are the weave of a lie
so sing to me soft and sing to me of what is mine

the wheels of fortune are turning away
as those in the know have nothing to say
the spiritual now is the comfort zone
how much to have before you go it alone
and there's a man who says i'm a fool
and a woman who says i'm a bore
and you're in the concert hall and i sing off key
searchin for something more

Thank you for sharing this tracks.

[199Dan]

Very nice.
It has a great flow.

[murphybridget837]

Truly enjoyable to read.