I rarely write no more, me

[AlanM]

My dearest Diana,

How kind of you to shower such a compliment on me, my gratitude knows no bounds (except on the golf course).
I'd say, however, that I am more Frankie Boyle than Frankie Stewart.

I thoroughly enjoyed the video clip and can most definitely relate to the final comment by your cousin Susan Boyle.

Not that I believe in Roman history - it was all made up in the Middle (Dark) Ages, but if your birthday is next week, I think that makes you a Scipio. Congratulations (if you make it to there/then)! On which day should I raise a glass of uisge-beatha in your honour? (Oops, I forgot, no work references - sorry).

Ailing Alan

[solongleonard]

Jerry Sadowitz is my dear friend. I may hold the record for remaining friends with him. 14 years since I took on the case of Pete Doherty and the death of Jerry's friend Mark Blanco.

Jerry is a lovely but deeply troubled man. When I once compered him and Jimmy Carr I asked the audience to be nice to him as he "recently suffered a near-life experience".

He is a brilliant comedian. At the start of the "Alternative Comedy" era, he opened with the words "Nelson Mandela, what a Cunt. Lend a bloke a fiver and you never see him again". This is mild by his usual standards and the first time I heard him mention our shared religion it was a tannoy announcement "Ladies and Gentlemen take your seats, Jews to the showers".

Much though I love him, he carries "a script to fail". He takes down all references to himself on youtube, anywhere on the Internet, within minutes. He wouldn't put out a video that I brought close to release.

He is also respected as one of the top few close-up magicians in the world. We sit down for a snack, he has a short-sleeved shirt on top but items appear and disappear before my disbelieving eyes. I do a good 3 card trick, Jerry uses 4 cards, on the back they spell out "COCK", whoosh the spell "CUNT".

When much-loved news broadcaster, Jill Dando was killed on her doorstep he gagged on stage, "If I had known Jill Dando was going to be shot on Sunday, I would have raped her on Saturday. As it is, I had to make do with Monday". I occasionally offer him material that wouldn't be right for my own presentation. He hasn't used my line about the message on hoardings around football pitches which say "Kick Racism out of football" Obviously he should continue "especially the Blacks".

I remember a time when he stopped mid-flow on stage and observed "underneath this bile-filled exterior there is a kinder gentler more reasonable level". Audience sighs of relief but followed by Jerry saying "and underneath that is another level of "much more fucking evil fucking hatred".

more lighthearted, the comment of "you remember at school when the teacher asked you 'what's heavier- a ton of feathers or a ton of lead'? One of them is fucking lead, Mathematical Cunts".

And the reason I mention him is that Frankie Boyle is considered by Jerry followers as an anemic third rate imitator of Sadowitz. I can't bear to watch Boyle so you hurt my feelings terribly.

Here's a fair Guardian clip about Jerry https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2011/ ... -interview

[LisaLCFan]

Jerry Sadowitz is my dear friend....

He has a rather limited vocabulary (when it comes to doing his thing), does he not? Crude offensive comedy is not my cup of tea -- one can be offensive (if they must) in a far more polite manner, but even then, for me, that sort of thing wears thin very quickly. I am not generally a fan of "stand-up comedy", because so much of it is rife with foul-mouthed, distasteful patter.

Of course, to each their own!

[solongleonard]

I am not surprised at your response at all. It is a perfectly reasonable preliminary view. His vocabulary is extensive, I happened to select that way. Hopeless comedians add swearing as if it raises their wit. I admire his sharp mind, which is supremely twisty turny. Mine too. His ferocity comes from his life's experience. His mind is beautiful. Even the President agrees, "it's a beautiful mind, really beautiful". I remember after the inquest for Mark that Jerry said he wished he could do what I do, I gave the same compliment in return about his act. Why should our feelings be toned down when we are performing. I feel so sad for all those people forced to watch him, all none of them. Instead, Cheers! for the Frankie Boyle cheap imitator or the offensive mediocrity of our top (that means highest earning) comedian Michael McIntyre, dying for his populism. Millions for him, poverty for Jerry. I know who is richer. Art is art is art, and you like that piece or you don't.

How nice it is to have a discussion here or the embryo of one at least.

My friend, Athina, has removed her canvas from my lounge and I miss it. I saw that painting develop and I have not seen an artist close up as a new piece is made. I felt privileged to watch, especially as I can't even draw a stickman "properly". Other people's pinmen beat up mine with contempt. Obviously, I don't tell Geoffrey often enough how much I admire his work but I do. It's why I hang around here. In the old days, I used to run and enter poetry competitions in this forum. I miss that. I miss me a lot. Oh, I made one contribution to her painting -I asked her if there was any special reason why the central figure had 6 fingers..

It is not easy for me to relax these days. (Fibbing - I always relax as I am empty of common-sense.) But I slept badly last night and tracked it back to Trump. He is a CUNT, and so is Johnson. The fact that our Prime Minister has an odd first name, and odd hair doesn't make him a harmless buffoon.

I read the Political news from Poland yesterday and at first, Justyna couldn't bear to discuss it with me as it hurt too much But we had an hour's conversation today. Hooray, no abortions there anymore. Hurrah for the Catholic Church there.

The lunatics are in charge and I am searching for asylum.

Sometime in the last decade, Jerry delivered a great diatribe about the evils of Thatcher, so long after she ceased to be in power and ceased to be living. And he told the audience that he didn't forgive her and "why should I ?", he added.

Why should he?

I read passages on my Zoom synagogue service today, one about justice and one about racism. I am for the first and completely against the second.

[LisaLCFan]

I am not surprised at your response at all. It is a perfectly reasonable preliminary view. His vocabulary is extensive, I happened to select that way. ...

I did read the Guardian interview to which you provided a link, and Jerry is, indeed, very articulate, which is why I added "when it comes to doing his thing".

I meant no offense to him as a person -- please forgive me if it sounded that way -- I simply find crude language to be very unpleasant (which, I suppose, may be the point -- not everything is a fucking bed of roses).

[solongleonard]

I am not surprised at your response at all. It is a perfectly reasonable preliminary view. His vocabulary is extensive, I happened to select that way. ...

I did read the Guardian interview to which you provided a link, and Jerry is, indeed, very articulate, which is why I added "when it comes to doing his thing".

I meant no offense to him as a person -- please forgive me if it sounded that way -- I simply find crude language to be very unpleasant (which, I suppose, may be the point -- not everything is a fucking bed of roses).

Thank you Lisa, for your ever-present kindness and insight

[AlanM]

Greetings, my Dear Diana.
I sincerely hope that the celebrations of your birthday bring you great joy in the company of the other members of the Dors family and with your friends (both of them).

Like many things, an appreciation of comedy, along with many of the performing arts, is dependent on a number of factors, but can be distilled to what is said (written), how it is said, the circumstances of the exchange and the mood of the hearer, to suggest a few. I have walked out of a number of performances, not just comedy, because I was bored (it takes a lot to disgust me) or the "comedy" was just not funny. The next day I read a review in the newspaper and saw what a magnificent show it was.
One occasion where I didn't leave but was very disappointed, was a Rowan Atkinson one man show in the days before Mr Bean. He got very few laughs and a few days later I happened to hear him interviewed on the steam wireless, and he had the gall (Gaul?) to say that the audience was poor on that particular night. Work that one out.
Comedians can be very funny without resorting to dubious language. One man I can suggest in that category is (was) Ken Dodd. If you don't like one joke, don't worry there`ll be another one along in a moment.
More recently I have seen and enjoyed Jimmy Carr (see above) and Bill Bailey. Two totally different comedic philosophies, but in their own way, hilarious. Many of the younger generation say stuff that I can`t understand how it is supposed to be funny, and they get a laugh from their equally young audience. Exception - Jack Whitehall amuses me, as does Simon Evans.
Regarding Michael McIntyre, I can take him or leave him, preferably the latter. I certainly wouldn't queue up to buy a ticket to see him.

Just to show you that I am broad minded, in response to the Jill Dando joke above, one could say that necrophilia can leave a bad taste in the mouth (and elsewhere). If you wish to share another similar one, you may need to ask me very nicely, but it is probably not suited to this forum.

A

[solongleonard]

Hey Helen, you know why that name works for you. It's in the bones, Man. But Doris doesn't work for me at all. Never mind, one Dors closes and another one opens. I want to be Michelle.

"Comedians can be very funny without resorting to dubious language". That is so true. Also, chefs can be very cheffy without resorting to pork, and bloody Lions can be very leonine without resorting to Christianity. That was an instant thought as I read your post for the first time, and thoughts can be instant without resorting to pot-noodles.

I was about to lit-crit your post and then I thought "what the hell, that is just work avoidance". And I also thought, "solong, are you a child?" Obviously I am and so what. I like ellipses and sticky toffee pudding.

Anywaybe, you are a good woman, Helen and I am happy to know you. I wish you a great week

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGy-j_ ... AndTheGang

solong


HAHAHA I read your post so quickly I thought the rhythm lacking NAME YOU GAVE ME WAS "DORIS" (AS IN PRIVATE EYE FAME, SID AND DORIS BONKERS). WELL, THERE ARE NO FAMOUS DIANAS, SO NO COMMENT (AND STILL NO RHYTHM).

[AlanM]

I like ellipses and sticky toffee pudding.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYGy-j_ ... AndTheGang

solong

HAHAHA I read your post so quickly I thought the rhythm lacking NAME YOU GAVE ME WAS "DORIS" (AS IN PRIVATE EYE FAME, SID AND DORIS BONKERS). WELL, THERE ARE NO FAMOUS DIANAS, SO NO COMMENT (AND STILL NO RHYTHM).

Aaah, My Bonnie Wee Lassie,

It looks like we both need to work on our spelling. I see you have an inordinate interest in astronomy, but the correct spelling of the phenomenon you mentioned above is eclipses.
Speaking (or writing) of which, may the Son Heung-Min (with an average of 8.17) shine on you on your special day. I hope you can steal an adequate amount of sticky toffee pudding with which to celebrate the passage of another year.
Regarding the link above, the portion starting at 2:00 was funnier and possibly more topical than the first bit.

With respect to my spelling of your name, Diana, I do confess getting your family name wrong, obviously it should be Doors. My profound apologies.

I also refer you to a quote from L Cohen:
Now the last time that I saw him he was trying hard to get
A woman's education but he's not a woman yet.
You must try harder, lad. You need to reassess your mental attitude.
I could never think of you as a Michelle - the name always reminds me of the Mutant Ninja Turtles joke.

Best wishes for your big day,

Alan (NBFF?)

[Geoffrey]

Obviously, I don't tell Geoffrey often enough how much I admire his work but I do. It's why I hang around here.

solongleonard.jpg (28.72 KiB) Viewed 5543 times

[AlanM]

Thursday 29th is a great day, Ms Doors, I hope you have an amazingly wonderful time.

A

[solongleonard]

thank you so much for your lovely post, Alan

[AlanM]

Greetings Diana,
I do hope you are not going soft on me after all that sticky toffee pudding, just as I am discovering more about you.
I must say you have a most admirable personal motto:

Am I right, or what?

A

[AlanM]

Greetings, again, Diana.
I think I may have invented a word: loquotion = personal motto, deriving from loquacious, elocution and other such word-type words.
I understand there is a fun thing to do in some languages, whereby the letters of a word or words are rearranged to make another word or group of words, let's call that Anna Gram, a lovely lady.
So, taking your "so-called" location and revealing it as your loquotion (personal motto), your admirable (previously disguised) mission statement is exposed:

I am pleased that you adhered to the language of your ancestors (Scottish) and used their terminology for what the English call a bloodhound.

Well done, lad, a truly wonderful attitude to your life's purpose. You do need to mature a bit and not be so shy.

Best wishes for your future endeavours on behalf of order and justice.

A

[AlanM]