venetian comatose

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 5:07 pm

LaurieAK your poems are phenom.when you mentioned venice,things just started crashing.i spent a year there,and it's like a previous lifetime.

walking aimlessly around
the silence heavy and perfect
mind like an empty page
its half past half past
as i wade through the piazza

as i transport myself
over the humble islands
i see a light in the distance
and gravitate towards it
its half past half past
as i transverse the canale grande

the light turns out to be you
i learn your name and your style
we go find a spot to sit,high
its half past half past
as we perch on the rialto

the water below us the sky above
we rush to judge their beauty
the rain admonishes us in response
and shows us things we thought impossible
its half past half past
and there are no boats to lido

we go sit at the steps of statsiona
waiting for the sounds of aproaching trains
yet the silence is absolute
its half past half past
i'm venetian comatose,thoroughly

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 5:12 pm

Last time i was comatose was in Amsterdam this year, just as well that i'm going back this febuary.
Georges

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 7:25 pm

Dear Elazar,

What a beautiful way to impart your feeling of beloved timelessness and connectedness with all around you....."its half past half past" ~ I found your poem trancelike and immersing.

~Lizzytysh

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 7:58 pm

What a great poem. The "half past half past" refrain created an rhythmic sense of time. Then after reading it, i associated it with what Venice seems to me, A thing of the PAST, giving it dual duty.
I was drawn to the lines:
"the rain admonishes us in response
and show us things we thought impossible"
Sounds typically Venetian (haha) that city is an enigma and a jewel. I thought those lines poignant (recognizing the gift). As for that "silence" it is a profound thing that everyone should experience. No Cars. The trainstation or purr of motor boats is all, other than what nature has to offer.

As for me n Venice. Sigh. i Love it. I spent a couple of days and nights there this past March. And one day there the year before. It is pure Magic. I had the great privilege of seeing her in the fog both times. The ambiance is astounding. I envy that you spent a whole year in that place. Thanks for sharing your poem and Venice! Cheers, Laurie

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 9:34 pm

one must go to venice to really know what "venetian comatose"is.laurie,you are indeed lucky the fog apeared.stunning.when venice snows...im getting jealous of myself,if such a thing is possible.
let me paint you a picture of the effect venice had on me.its a tad vulgar,but never the less...

i was walking down strada nova with some cohorts,and in the street a small dog was sqauting,taking a sh*t.it all happened so fast.i walked right into the poor dog,and my stride lifted it right into the air!my friends almost died.they dont let me forget this story,not like i would!

~venetian comatose,indeed!!

elazar

LaurieAK · Post by **LaurieAK** » Thu Dec 05, 2002 10:56 pm

elazar~Hahaha. Now i won't forget this. Thanks for sharing! Laurie

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Fri Dec 06, 2002 8:37 am

For me the best line was: "mind like an empty page" So true.

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Fri Dec 06, 2002 3:57 pm

the mind as empty page phenomena.alot of times,when something is bothering me,i would go for a stroll to try to think of a solution.usualy,
time will pass,and some how my mind becomes completely unteathered to the problem,or anything at all,for that matter.and of course,the matter that was problematic becomes completely insignificant.maybe i should take strolls more often,not just when i need to "walk it off".in the venice setting,this phenomena was quite natural.it might be a tuning to the surroundings that "just happens".whatever may be......

elazar

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Sun Dec 08, 2002 8:45 am

Yes, good idea to walk off an empty mind.

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Sun Dec 08, 2002 4:11 pm

actually,in my case,the empty mind is the outcome of the walk,nay,the reward!its just a complete scerenity.
elazar

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Sun Dec 08, 2002 5:39 pm

george,
im still waiting,for your amsterdam comatose.or maybe its self understood?
elazar

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 7:58 am

Yes, walking and empty minds go hand in hand.

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 4:40 pm

Be there in two months to repeat the comatose...........will consider a poem then, or if you prefer a poem now .......on last Febuary's comatose.
Georges

elazar · Post by **elazar** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 5:43 pm

you must be kidding!wait another two months???of course i want one in another two months,but can i be selfish and ask for one now?
saluté´
elazar

George.Wright · Post by **George.Wright** » Tue Dec 10, 2002 6:09 pm

Well i've got to be inspired to write, esp about Amsterdam. Will send one in the next few days..............
Best Regards.....................Georges

venetian comatose

venetian comatose

To Elazar

To Elazar

to georges

To Elazar